Uncle Adam - AkumaKami64 - Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon) [Archive of Our Own] (2024)

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

Extermination Day, 1920.

No one had ever opposed the army of exorcists in their yearly visits to cull Hell of its sinners. No one had been brave or foolish enough to even try. Adam had often wondered what it would look like if they did. What moron he'd have to make an example of.

"Go Home, Please!"

He didn't expect it to be a little hellborn girl riding on the back of a small dragon-goat thing that was about the size of a pony.

"Kid, the f*ck are you doing?" Adam asked dubiously as he floated in the air of Hell, just in front of the portal to Heaven. His army of exorcist angels were all impatient but equally perplexed.

"I don't want you to kill anyone! So please go home, Mr. Angel!" the demon called out with an innocence that was almost insulting.

"Sir, let me handle-!" one of the exorcists called out, about to fly forward.

"Wow, wow! Contain the calamities, eager tit*!" Adam said, holding out his wing to stop her. "Can't you f*cking tell whose kid this is?!"

".....?" The angel co*cked her masked head.

Adam groaned while Lute cleared her throat. "That would be the Princess of Hell, soldier," Lute informed flatly, giving the child a disdainful look while the others realized why this was a problem.

"My name is Charlie," the princess gave out. No indignation, only a polite introduction. Adam wasn't positive about how Hellborn aging went, but unless he was losing all his marbles, he heard about this kid being born around a hundred years ago. And she looked about ten.

Adam tapped the finger on the side of his holy spear. Hellborns were technically off the table. Unless of course, they were stupid enough to actually try to stop the Exorcists. But this was the royal bratness herself! Hurting her was going to be a fast way to turn this into a bad day.

"Ughh. f*ck this in the f*ck," Adam swore to himself. "Ladies, do NOTHING to the kid. I'll handle this."

The angels watched on as their leader put his holy weapon on his back while flying towards Charlie, her pet growling warningly.

"Easy, Razzle! But does....does this mean you'll go home, Mr. Angel?" Charlie asked hopefully, her eyes gleaming.

The red shine of her gaze brought a scowl to his face. "Not a f*cking chance, Hellflake," he said, reaching up to pull her off the back to Charlie's alarm.

Razzle roared, snapping out to bite Adam. The First Man merely held up his arm, and let the demon bite into his arm. "co*cky little sh*t."

"Sir!" Lute called out in alarm.

"Razzle!" screamed in fear for her friend.

"I can f*cking handle this, Lute," Adam called back. "Take the girls and do our thing while I deal with Little L here."

Lute hesitated before nodding. "Yes, Sir. You heard him! f*cking Annihilate these disgusting sinners!" Lute called out, getting a cheer from the exorcists as they flew off to begin their slaughter.

Adam ignored that mostly as he glared are the goat-dragon that was trying and utterly failing to harm him. "You horned f*ck. You got any f*cking idea who you're f*cking with?!" he said, tearing his arm out and knocking a few teeth out as he did.

"Razzle!" Charlie screamed. "Please, don't hurt him, Mr. Angel! He was just trying to protect me! Please, he'll behave!"

Razzle, bloodied mouth but still unwilling to stop, gave a roar of warning to Adam who only scoffed. "You're too stupid to even realize how f*cked you are. Fine then," he said in annoyance.

Faster than the demonic beast could react, Adam shot forward and grabbed the creature by the horn, his hand glowing with heavenly energy.

"PLEASE DON'T KILL MY FRIEND!"

Charlie's scream drew Adam's attention. He looked and saw the girl was now in full demon mode, the whites of her eyes red and her crimson orbs replaced by ones that were yellow and almost animal. Her small red horns grew from her temple.

And tears were flowing freely from her eyes, sobbing desperately as she stared into his mask. "Please...Please, Mr. Angel."

"My f*cking name is Adam, Princess," he stated flatly.

Charlie sniffled a bit more. "Please, Mr. Adam. Don't hurt him. I just...I just wanted....."

Adam stared at her in annoyance, weighing the pros and cons in his head before sighing as he pulled Razzle up by the horn. "You going to play nice, you damn mule?"

Razzle stared back for a moment before being engulfed in a small flame, emerging as a tinier, almost puppy-sized version of himself.

"That's it Razzle! Come here!" Charlie called out, holding open her arms with tears of relief. Razzle made a noise of affection before flying into her arms, mouth still bloody. "I'm sorry, Razzle! This is my fault. I shouldn't have brought you with me."

"Shouldn't have come at all," Adam muttered, still holding her by the shirt. "Look, I'm dropping you off at your home before you cause any more problems. So just stop your whining and you do whatever it is Hellkids do for fun."

Charlie said nothing, just holding desperately onto Razzle as Adam flew off, heading to one of the few places off-limits: the Devil's Manor.

The sounds of the extermination rang out below them. Charlie looked down, watching with sorrowful eyes as she saw the Angels chasing down and slaughtering so many sinners. There was no looking away. Every street was filled with dead and dying souls, and even some fruitlessly fled into the skies.

Adam tuned it all out as they flew. He was just going to drop the brat off, then he'd leave. If he was fast enough about it, he wouldn't have to speak or even see...Them.

His hold on Charlie's shirt grew tighter, balling into a fist. She didn't notice, the fixation of the sights below.

Adam found the manor soon enough. He picked a balcony at random and sat her down. He glanced inside, seeing no one in whatever room lay within.

Charlie sat down with her back to the railing, knees to her chest as she held onto Razzle.

That should have been the end of it, Adam knew. He should have flown off and gone about slaughtering demon ass with the girls.

So why the f*ck did he sit down, he wondered? His rear on the railing, one foot pompt up, the other dangling off the side.

"So what did you think you were going to do, anyway?" Adam asked absently.

Charlie didn't speak for a moment, glancing at the golden wings nearby. "You've....you've all been killing a lot more sinners every year."

"Yeah, well, there was this sh*tshow called the "Great War" on Earth, and then a damn plague came in and killed even more f*ckers," Adam explained. "We actually had a damn quota to reach to keep this sh*thole from overflowing."

Charlie nodded. "Y-yeah, I heard about that, from my mommy and daddy."

Adam tried not to think about just who her "mommy and daddy" really were.

"B-but those are over now! So, I was...kind of...I was hoping you'd....." Charlie trailed off.

"What, go home because you asked nicely?" Adam asked rhetorically. "Not how this sh*t works, Hellflake."

"Why not?"

Charlie actually looked up at him now, her eyes full of curiosity and sorrow.

Did this Brimmuffim even understand where she was? What Hell was and why it exists? Or had her parents not told her anything?

"Why do you care?" Adam asked with a scuff. "You're a Hellborn, kid. Ignoring that, your parents are the top dogs down here. Not like we could attack you even if we wanted to."

"I'm not worried about me! I'm sad because of all the souls you kill!" Charlie shot back with fierce sadness.

"Oh wow, you're upset we're slaughtering a bunch of lowlife souls. Murderers, abusers, and the like," Adam commented dryly, unimpressed. "News flash, you have a massive ass overpopulation problem."

"I know that! But....but....." Charlie wiped some tears from her eyes. "There has to be another way."

"Pft, right," Adam dismissed. "Is this what counts for an emo-phase for demons? You get this super sappy nice time before you start collecting souls like they're baseball cards?"

"…Thank you for not hurting Razzle," Charlie suddenly said, rubbing the demonic sheep's head.

"Don't bother, kid, I-" He closed his mouth. He didn't really have a reason for not killing the dragon-goat. Any other day, he would have treated it like a duck in a shooting range.

"You're...kind of mean, but I'm glad you didn't hurt him," Charlie said with a weak but genuine smile.

Adam stared at her strangely, not sure how to respond or even why he was still here.

Charlie didn't like the silence that came. "Hey, um, my parents told me about someone named Adam..."

"I'm sure they did," Adam muttered darkly. He could imagine the things they said about him.

A door opened, drawing Charlie's attention inside. "Momma!" she exclaimed, running inside.

Adam narrowed his eyes but refused to look back, to give Her the time of day. He unfurled his wings and took to the sky. But not before flipping the bird over his finger.

He didn't speak and he didn't wait to hear anything. He flew out and immediately got to work.

Work being exterminating.

He vaporized a half dozen sinners with a wave of his hand before running into one of his girls. More exactly, his best one. "Miss me, Danger tit*!?" he called out.

"Sir, you're about a hundred souls behind me," Lute informed with a slight challenge to her smirk.

Adam returned it as he pulled out his spear. "Oh, the f*ck I am!"

Hell was filled with the screams of Sinners and the wrath of Angels as Adam lost himself in the familiar motions of this slaughter.

So, the Princess of Hell cared. He wondered how long until that lasted. A decade? A century? Being a demon, he imagined it ended the moment she got a taste of tormenting and dominating another soul.

"Sir. Sir? Sir?!" Lute called shaking him by the wing.

"The hell, Lute?! I was about to get a three-for-one shot!" Adam complained as he looked back at her, holding up a finger of charged holy light.

"Sir, it's about time to stop," Lute informed, looking at the clock tower.

Indeed, Extermination Day was almost over now. Adam growled. He hadn't wasted much time with the Hellflake, but it felt like he barely got anything done at all.

With a great blast of angelic energy from his hands, he leveled two buildings on either side of the road. Lute said nothing to the display.

"Fine. Ladies, that's it! Pack it in, we're f*cking off!" Adam said with a frown, addressing all Exorcists through his halo. "Unlike me, that was rather unsatisfying."

"Was it, Sir?" Lute asked with a head tilt as they flew back to heaven.

"Yeah. Having a damn quota takes some of the fun out of it," Adam mused. "Who got the highest kill count? No, it was my ass."

"Not sure. Mary seemed to be in the lead most of the day," Lute acknowledged as they crossed through the portal. "Sir?"

"Yep?" Adam acknowledged carefully.

"Was there any trouble? With taking the...Princess home?" Lute asked delicately.

"Lute, it's me. I'm the opposite of polite company, you uptight bitch," Adam reminded with a grin.

Lute almost smirked. "Very well, Sir. Was there any trouble with the whor*spawn?"

"You crazy...." Adam shook his head. Lute was always like this. She gave a hundred percent to anything. Even if she she trying to be polite or impolite. "Not a bit. Sat with her a bit. Had to make sure she didn't sneak out again."

Lute nodded minutely. Silence raised before her brow furrowed in concern. "Are you...alright sir?"

"Peachy, Lute, just peachy."

Extermination Day, 1921

"Really? Really, we're doing this again?" Adam asked in annoyance.

"Hi, Mr. Adam!" Charlie greeted on the back of Razzle, waving at them. Or, actually, Adam was pretty sure this was a different goat-demon. "Could you go back home this time?"

"Sir, should I handle it this time?" Lute offered.

Adam sighed. "No, I got this. You know the drill, Ladies! Knock'em good and knock'em double-dead."

"Sir!" Lute saluted as she led the Exorcists off.

Charlie looked on in disappointment. "You're not going home this time, are you?"

"Nah," Adam answered casually, looking to the princess's mount. "This new? Something happened to Raffle or whatever you called it?"

"Razzle. He's fine. This is Dazzle, his brother," Charlie answered with a small smile.

"Razzle Dazzle. Princess, you are a piece of work," Adam said with a snort, looking the goat-dragon in the eye. "Do I need to knock your teeth loose?"

"Please don't!" Charlie pleaded, and Dazzle made no move of aggression, eyeing Adam curiously. "We'll let you take me home."

Adam groaned. The kid could just go home on her own, obviously. But if he didn't escort her, Heaven knows one of his exorcists might mistake the flying goat-beast as a target. "Fine, let's f*cking fly."

They rode on for a while in silence. It felt longer than last time.

"Why, In This Place, did you come out here? You should have f*cking knew I wouldn't stop," Adam asked in annoyance.

"I had to at least try," Charlie answered with a soft stubbornness. "Besides, I wanted to see you again."

If the pip-squeak was a few....decades? A century? If she was a good deal older, he might have had a flirting comeback for that. But she was a kid through, and he wasn't one of the sick f*cks down here that messed with kids. "Kid, I'm the LEADER of the Exorcists. I mean, yeah, I'm f*cking amazing. But why, by my own name, would you want to see me again just to escort you bratty ass back home?"

Charlie didn't answer that at first, staring at him strangely. "Is that...your face?"

"Nope," Adam answered bluntly.

"Than...why do you wear it?" Charlie asked curiously. "Do you think you look bad under there?"

"Oh, the f*ck I look bad! I look AMAZING! And everyone in heaven is beautiful, handsome, or both," Adam countered. "And as for why? None of your business, kiddo."

"Are you worried you'll get blood in your hair?" Charlie tried again.

"Still no," Adam denied. "....But yeah, this a concern. Demon blood smells like sh*t after a while and is a bitch to wash out of your hair."

"....Isn't cursing against the rules of Heaven," Charlie asked curiously.

"Oh no, not one f*cking bit!" Adam answered with a grin. "Most of the newcomers think it is. So it gets them a funny look, but the rest of heaven gets used to us swear happy few."

"Oh," Charlie said in consideration. "Still sounds mean."

Adam grunted as they arrived. They landed on another balcony, Dazzle turning back into puppy mode. Just from a look, he could tell this was the princess's bedroom. Plenty of pink in there. "There, we're done. Bye, Hellflake!"

"Wait," Charlie called before Adam could take off. "Are you Adam? Like, the Adam from the story, and Eden?"

Adam crossed his arm. He normally was smug about his identity and, to be fair, he still was. But the chances of these stories being flattering were like finding a sinner in hell who wasn't addicted to something. "Yep, that's me. Adam, First Man. All humans descend from me."

"And Eve," Charlie added on factually.

He was going to smite so many buildings before today was over. "Yes, and Eve. My wife, the First Woman."

Charlie opened her mouth and Adam leaned down to glare at her. Charlie wisely decided that it wasn't a good idea to mention the "other" first woman. She then proceeded to fiddle with her hands nervously.

"What is it, Kid? You got to go to the bathroom or something?" Adam asked blandly.

"...I just wish I knew a way to stop all this. It's not fair. They're already dead and in hell. Why do they have to die again?" Charlie answered flatly.

"I'm sure your parents will just blame the angels. Or me in some f*cking way," Adam scoffed.

"That's not true!" Charlie said with a glare. "I mean, you don't sound nice in the story..."

"Gee, let me guess, the Author was L. Morningstar?" Adam asked sarcastically.

"But Daddy blames himself for....a lot," Charlie said softly. "I don't see him a lot, but whenever he talks about his past, he looks like he feels...."

"Like a piece of sh*t?" Adam filled in bluntly. "If so? Good!"

"Stop talking about Daddy like that!" Charlie demanded, her horns showing and eyes shifting as she glared up at the angel.

Adam was unimpressed but decided not to say more.

The bedroom door opened and Adam took that as his cue to leave. "Stop f*cking letting your kid wander off on E-Day!" he called out before taking off.

He glanced to his side before taking off, seeing Charlie's demonic visage vanishing, the Princess staring at the ground with a sad and angry look.

He didn't look back when he left, flying into his usual frenzy of angelic power and holy lights. By the time he was done, he had killed more demons than he ever had before. However...

"Sir? You damaged the Embassy," Lute informed flatly.

"Hm?" Adam looked to the Heaven Embassy and saw that he had clipped one of the towers with his angelic beam. "Eh. Needed a new paint job."

Lute co*cked her head. "You sound still unsatisfied, Sir."

"Guess I'm just bored killing small fry," he mused. "What do you think, Lute? Go Overlord hunting next year?"

"Bigger fish, Sir? Sounds like a damn good time," Lute said with a smile. "So, is this going to be the norm? You sending the Hellspawn Princess off to bed?"

"Can't do much if she has sh*tty parents that don't seem to care if she's safe or not."

Lute hummed in agreement as they returned.

Extermination Day, 1922

This time, no one said anything or even groaned when Charlie showed up and asked them to leave. Adam just rolled his eyes and started taking her home.

He did start cursing when Razzle- and it had to be Razzle- turned back into his smaller form right above Adam, prompting both steed and princess to land right on Adam's back. "Hey! I'm not a f*cking taxicab!"

"Sorry, Adam! I don't know why he did that!" Charlie said, clinging to his back in alarm, giving a scolding look to her pet. "Razzle, why would you do that?"

Razzle just baa'd.

Now Adam groaned. "Kid, one of these days, I'm turning that thing into lamb chops."

"Please don't!" Charlie pleaded, already getting teary-eyed. "Dazzle will be so sad and lonely and crying and-"

"It was a f*cking joke! Do NOT get your snot on my robes! Or my damn wings!" Adam said angrily.

"Okay," Charlie said, eyes still glimmering sadly, until she blinked curiously as she noticed something. "You're not fat."

"Thanks?" Adam returned in confusion.

"The robe makes you look fat," Charlie said bluntly.

"I know," Adam acknowledged without anger.

"You feel a lot skinner," Charlie said, poking his back through the robes.

"Kid, I will drop you on the roof," Adam warned.

Charlie decided to change the topic. "What is Heaven like?"

"f*cking awesome. Way better than whatever you imagine," Adam answered with a grin.

"I can imagine a lot," Charlie stated curiously.

Adam chuckled at that before he could catch himself, coming to land outside Charlie's room again. "So, what, did your parents seriously NOT tell you to stay away from me?"

"No? I mean, I don't know if Daddy knows," Charlie admitted.

"....What?" Adam asked flatly. "What kind of man doesn't know where his only kid is during a day like this?"

Charlie had no answer for that. "Momma didn't tell me to stay away from you. She said I shouldn't go out on Extermination Day, but she didn't say anything else about it."

Adam was torn between being curious about what, if anything Lilith said about him and warry about hearing what she said about him. It might piss him off enough to do something stupid and scare Charlie. Not that he cared that much, but still.

"But she never was mad or mad that I talked to you, or that you were here," Charlie answered curiously. "Maybe she forgave-?"

Charlie inhaled sharply as Adam's wings suddenly flared up, raised high as if to take flight or to strike something, their golden feathers gleaming with holy power. Adam himself was pissed, it was clear by the glare and the scowl of his teeth.

"She can shove her forgiveness up her own pit, Hellflake," Adam said as he flapped his wings hard, soaring into the air as a gust of wind swept through Charlie's room, nearly knocking the young demoness over.

Charlie looked up with a sad, conflicted look as Adam sped away, no doubt to slaughter more sinners and vent the anger she had accidentally caused him.

And slaughter he did, killing a whole street full of demons with just his wings, heavenly energy wrapped around them to make them as good as holy blades.

"Sir!"

He looked, finding it was not Lute. "What is it, Val?" he asked with a distinct lack of interest, even as blood dripped from his wings. Wings were easier to clean, he wasn't worried.

"Sir, you said you wanted to hunt an Overlord this year," Val answered, her mask grinning in sad*stic delight. "We found a good one."

Adam grinned.

The Overlord in question was an interesting-looking fellow. He was wearing a blue vest and top hat, giving him a certain fancy and British air, but his head was small and hidden in the shadow beneath the hate, resting against the high collar. Only one bloodshot eye could be seen. The hands were furred and black, each with claws and a second thumb. The legs were covered in grey pants and looked to be stained with blood.

He was surrounded by ten exorcists, keeping him corralled here just for Adam.

"Who the f*ck you suppose to be?" Adam asked idly.

"Jack the Ripper. I suppose I have the "pleasure" of being your victim today, Sir Adam, chchch," Jack said with a voice that had a tisk of chitters to it.

"Jack the...Oh f*ck, I'm going to enjoy this a bit," Adam said as he pulled out his spear with a grin.

"Intriguing. Did you not like my work, First Man, chchch?" Jack asked, a strange sideways smile forming under the shadow of his hat. "Did you not like how I punished those whor*s, chchch?"

"Hmmm," Adam seemed to consider it. "Nope!"

Jack found himself set upon by the Progenitor of Humanity, whose spear tip cut through his shirt before Jack could leap away entirely.

The Overlord flung his hands, many knives leaping from his sleeves to strike his foe.

Adam backhanded them away with his wing, advancing on the murderer with a toying mood to him.

Jack's one eye scanned the area as he was backed against a wall, looking for an escape path. He found none.

Adam held up his hand and sent a holy ray at Jack, who barely moved aide in time. The attack made a hole in the wall, giving Jack the exit he desired. He leaped through the hole like a spider-

Only for a spear to be driven through his back.

"Not today, Bitch!" Adam said with a grin as he used the spear to throw Jack back into the open, the exorcists watching on with smirks. "You know, after nine THOUSAND years of watching people f*ck up in the most disgusting ways? Only a few get a reaction out of me anymore," Adam mused as he advanced on the wounded Overlord. "Congrats on being one."

Jack growled in pain from near lethal wound. "Kill me and be done with this game, you vain, hell-hated, nut-hook!"

"Hey!" Adam barked pointing a finger at Jack and vaporizing an arm, sending the serial killer falling back in agony. "Respect my nuts, you kidney-eating f*ck!"

Jack just groaned, unable to speak or think through the pain.

"Hm," Adam paused and looked up. "Ladies, anybody want the honors?"

One came forward, landing beside the demon and pulling her helmet off. "Remember this face, you vile waste of a soul," she said venomously. "Do you remember me?"

Jack stilled as he seemed to recognize her. "You....no, not you. An angel?"

The exorcist smirked wickedly. "That's right, you sick f*ck. Me."

No one said a word or interrupted her as she brought her spear down, stabbing Jack in his tiny head. Then again, and again, and again. To head, the torso, the belly, everywhere. He was dead after the first few attacks, but she didn't stop mutilating his corpse until she was out of breath.

She looked up finally, seeing that her sisters had left to continue the purge. The only ones that remained were Adam and Lute. "Sir. Ma'am. I'm sorry, he-"

Adam held up his hand, waving her off. "It's fine. You don't have to explain sh*t to anyone. Though, do that again, and I'm calling you Stabath."

"He will," Lute warned bluntly.

"I can live with that, Sir," she said proudly, even if her spear trembled a bit in hand. "...Thank you, Sir."

Adam just waved her off, prompting her to put her helmet back on and fly off.

"Satisfied, Sir?" Lute asked evenly.

"More so. Always happy to help one of the winners in the group get some payback," he said with a chuckle. "Think she'll stick around or leave the Exorcists after this?"

"Don't know. We Heavenborn never leave the Exorcists, but some of the Earthborn angels in our ranks lose their drive after getting their own justice," Lute remarked, gazing up at the portal back to heaven. "You were early getting back this time. Did something happen?"

"You know kids. It doesn't matter if they're from heaven, hell, or earth. They always put their noses where they don't belong," Adam remarked dismissively.

Lute tilted her head. "I wouldn't know, Sir. I've never had children. Are they really all like that?"

"Kids are curious little sh*theads. Especially about their parents. And anything related to their parents," Adam said darkly.

"Sir, I understand your concern, but if she arrives next year, I can take her back without incident," Lute offered.

"Danger tit*, I trust you in a fight. I don't trust that you can avoid any and all f*cking trouble in Hell with her under your care," Adam said flatly. "Besides, you're assuming I trust "Them" around anyone."

Lute found herself smiling at that beneath her mask. "We have an hour left, Sir."

"Good. Let's see who has a higher kill count after this."

One Day Later

"Adam."

He looked up from his hamburger, swallowing. "Yo. Sera. Lunch break?" he asked casually.

The seraphim was almost amused. "No, I need to speak with you," she said, teleporting them to her office.

Adam was only slightly annoyed. "Okay, but I'm still eating," he warned as he took a seat. "What do you need?"

Sera supposed this was partially her fault for doing this while Adam was having his lunch. "I read the report on the last extermination."

"What about it?" Adam asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Did you go after Jack the Ripper intentionally or was that a coincidence?" Sera asked idly.

"Eh?" Adam swayed his burger back and forth in a so-so gesture. "Wasn't looking for THAT asshat, just any Overf*ck. Why, are the Royal Ls taking a piss about that?"

"No. They also haven't said anything about your yearly meeting with their daughter," Sera remarked calmly.

"Good, seeing as I protected their damn kid for them," Adam remarked.

"Why?"

"Hmm?" Adam glanced at her strangely. "Sera, you know that just because I can be an ass that I'm not stupid, right?"

She smiled at that, or almost. It was hard to say. "I'm well aware, Adam."

"Letting the Hellflake get hurt was the fast way to have them on your ass, and you on my ass, and suddenly everyone is on each other's ass like it's Sodom and Gomorrah all over again," Adam ranted.

"Wonderful way of putting it," Sera said with a small eye-roll.

"I know. Wait, what were we talking about?" Adam asked with a furrowed brow.

"I believe you called her the Hellflake?" Sera reminded.

"Right. Kid comes each year, asking us to f*ck off and go home. You know, not pull an extermination. I take her back to make sure there's no trouble," Adam shrugged. "My girls are great, but they're not ones you send to handle "delicate" cargo."

Nor was he, but that went without saying.

Adam grunted and finished his burger. "Didn't we start this conversation about Rip the Jacker?"

Sera raised an eyebrow.

"I know what I said, Head Fluff," Adam said bluntly.

Sera hummed. "In any case, yes, we did. In truth, the only reason I asked was because one of your...girls is requesting to leave the exorcists and-"

"And she's the one who killed Jack," Adam finished. "Let her."

Sera studied him carefully. "Just like that?"

"Let her take the secrecy oaths and everything, then let her go," Adam waved off. "Besides, she'll be back in a decade or two. Probably."

Sera held a hand to her chin as she kept regarding him.

"Anything else?" Adam asked, somewhat impatiently. "I still got sh*t to do."

"No, you don't," Sera said in amusem*nt. "But that is all, Adam. Thank you."

Adam gave a half-hearted wave and left.

He had a going away party to arrange.

Chapter 2

Chapter Text

Chapter 3

Chapter Text

Extermination Day, 1926

Adam had been unusually quiet the entire time leading up to the departure to Hell. Lute wondered, did he know? Did he expect what came next?

That the moment they emerged in Hell, standing before them would be the Devil himself.

Lucifer Morningstar. Lord of Pride, Fallen Seraphim, King of Hell, and holder of a thousand horrid titles.

He was hovering there, mere meters from them. Every Exorcist was on edge, for his face was one of stone. His glare was one of suspicion that could so easily give way to protective fury.

Only the First Man seemed unphased by Lucifer's presence.

Adam glanced behind Lucifer for one second, seeing that Charlie was here as well. She looked very worried, sitting on Dazzle's back with puppy Razzle held in her arms for comfort.

"Lute, take the others and get started," Adam ordered neutrally.

"Sir, are you sure?" Lute asked with sweat on her brow.

"Yep. Go, have fun, kickass for me," Adam waved her off calmly.

Lucifer did not speak or look away as the exorcists scattered over Pentagram City. It was slow though, it was obvious they were distracted, knowing that these two were both in the same place.

Adam made the first move as he flew forward at a steady pace.

Lucifer was more than a little surprised when Adam casually went right passed him, stopping just behind the Devil while facing the princess. "Hey, I-!"

"Razz, you're looking at kickable as ever," Adam addressed, ignoring Lucifer, who blinked in surprise. Dazzle baa'd a greeting to Adam, who rolled his eyes. "Yeah, hi, Dazz."

"Hi, Adam," Charlie greeted with an awkward wave, looking between the angel and her father.

"Oh, you are awake," Adam said with a smirk. "You were so damn quiet, I thought you were napping there, Hellflake."

"H-hellflake?! What did you just call her?!" Lucifer demanded in disbelief.

Adam still didn't respond. "Come on, we better get you home."

"Huh?" Charlie blinked as Adam began to fly. Before she could make a response, Dazzle had already begun to fly after Adam.

Lucifer could only gap in disbelief while Charlie was looking between Adam and her father, very confused by the lack of exchange. Before they got too far, Lucifer shot forward, flying just above them. "Hey! I'm trying to talk to you!"

Adam just hummed a tune to yourself, loudly.

"What are you, a toddler!?" Lucifer asked with a scowl.

"Adam...?" Charlie spoke up, holding Razzle close.

"Yeah, what's up, Hellflake?" Adam answered easily, looking at her.

Lucifer's eyebrow started to twitch.

"You...can hear him, right?" she asked uncertainly, glancing up at her father.

"Who?" Adam asked, looking up at the very annoyed Lucifer. "Oh. Of course I can't hear anything, Hellflake," he said, looking ahead again.

Lucifer now looked confused on top of frustrated. Charlie just tilted her head. "Why not?" she inquired.

Adam smirked. "Because snakes can't talk."

Lucifer inhaled, long and sharp. "Okay, you want to play that way?"

"Daddy..." Charlie pleaded softly, not liking where this was going.

"So, how you been since Eden? Lose any more wives I don't know about?"

Adam did nothing, for precisely two seconds.

With a beat of his wings, he sped forward.

Lucifer furrowed his brow. "Hey, what are you-?"

Adam's wings glowed and, with a great flap, sent two pillars of holy light down, demolishing two buildings below.

Charlie's eyes wide eye. "Adam! Stop! Please!"

This time, Adam didn't respond even to her, sending another wave to the side.

He did, however, come to a stop when Lucifer shot in front of him as a bale light. "What the hell are you-"

Adam stopped only when he was looming right over Lucifer, staring down into his eyes. For a long, tense moment, they didn't even speak.

"Hmm?" Adam co*cked his head with feigned surprise and genuine disinterest. "Sorry, didn't see you there. Who the f*ck are you again?"

Lucifer's jaw dropped at the sheer audacity of the question. "Don't pretend you don't know who I am."

"Oh no, I couldn't at all guess," Adam said with his arms crossed, giving a distasteful look to the apple theme on the hat and cane. "So, you breaking it?"

"What...?" Lucifer said in surprise.

"Are you. Breaking. The Treaty?" Adam demanded with a glare. "Cause that's what stopping me during an extermination means from you."

Lucifer glared back. "Of course not, you ass! I just wanted to talk to you!"

"And I have f*ck all to say to you," Adam said flatly. "Now if you excuse me, I have a kid to escort home. It's Extermination Day, in case you forgot."

"You co*cky-! I came here to THANK YOU for last year!" Lucifer finally got out.

"Last?" Adam repeated blankly. "Not the other few years I was her damn chaperon?"

Lucifer took a breath, "Yes, yes those too. Just...especially last year," he clarified with regret.

"You're welcome. My holy farts are worth more than the air you wasted saying that," Adam shot back instantly.

Lucifer cringed and let out a breath. "I see you're still the same little prick from Eden."

"Funny. How'd it feel being pegged for nine thousand years?" Adam asked pointedly.

"The hell you saying in front of my daughter?!" Lucifer yelled in outrage.

"It took almost ten THOUSAND years for you to have a kid," Adam explained with a shrug. "I mean, I guess after riding your short ass this long, she had to give you a pity-f*ck as a reward."

"Oh, you want to go there you little sh*t?!" Lucifer challenged with a smirk. "About Eve-?"

"Keep her name out of your mouth, Serpent," Adam snapped, his jovial tone replaced by something low and dangerous, his wings glowing ominously.

It gave Lucifer a pause of surprise, but only for a second. "Oh, like I could keep her mouth-"

"STOP!"

Both turned to see Charlie. Her eyes had changed and her horns were out while she glared at them both with tears in her eyes.

Adam's wings lost their fiery glow.

"Stop fighting, please!" she pleaded. "I know you don't like each other and...and you don't need to be nice, but can you please not fight because of me?!"

Lucifer was at a loss. "Charlie, I'm sorry. We shouldn't-"

"We weren't fighting because of you, Hellflake," Adam said bluntly. "We were going to start at it the moment we spoke to each other. That's why I was ignoring his ass."

Lucifer took a calming breath, giving him an annoyed look. "As I said, I came here to thank you."

"And I didn't save Charlie for thanks, especially yours," Adam said coldly, refusing to even look in Lucifer's direction. "Now shut up and fly with us or take her home yourself."

Adam didn't give them the option to argue as he began to fly off again. Towards the manor. It was lost on none of them that Adam could have just flown off now and started purging sinners.

With some reluctance on Lucifer's part- and an uncomfortable amount of eagerness from Dazzle- they pursued after the First Man.

"So..." Lucifer started up as they reached him. "Do anything besides yearly visits to ravage Hell?"

"You do anything besides let Hell ravage itself all year around?" Adam countered dryly.

"Daddy, Adam, please!" Charlie pleaded, her form back to normal now.

"I'm sorry, CharChar, but I'm trying," Lucifer said with a tired smile.

"Already tried my best when I was ignoring him, Hellflake," Adam answered with brutal honesty.

"Can you just...talk about anything that doesn't make you both angry at each other?" Charlie pleaded, looking more at Adam than her father.

Adam said nothing.

"Adam?" Charlie asked again.

"I'm thinking," Adam answered with a hum. "So, were you being pegged or not?"

"Really? That's what you went with?" Lucifer asked with a deadpan. "In front of Charlie!?"

"Dad, I know what pegging is!" Charlie defended. Now Adam looked over his shoulder at her with a furrowed brow. "What? I'm 120! And, well, this is Hell. Though, I don't want to hear about what Mommy and Daddy do at night together."

"We can't hide things from her, obviously. So better just to explain them and why they are on a long list of things she has to wait another century to worry," Lucifer explained with a smile.

"Dad, I'll be grown up in just sixty years!" Charlie defended with a pout.

"Don't remind me, CharChar," Lucifer said dramatically, lamenting the quick passing of years.

"Hellflake, my advice? Don't take advice from anyone you know on romance, you'll get no good suggestions," Adam recommended.

"..." Lucifer bit his tongue while glaring at Adam's back.

"I said anybody, Scratch," Adam said with a smirk. "She better not come to me for advice."

Charlie tilted her head. "Aren't you the first human husband though?"

The question was a bit too close to Eden, but Adam let it slide. "Yeah, and you know how awkward it was to INVENT romance? Especially after-" Adam clamped his mouth shut suddenly.

Charlie looked straight to her Father, as if pleading with him to not poke the obvious subject Adam had nearly brought up.

Lucifer smiled reassuringly, if not a bit strained. "So, umm, Hellflake?"

"Your daughter is a snowflake in Hell," Adam said as if it was obvious. "I'm surprised she hasn't melted. Literally!"

"I'll have you know I'm fireproof!" Charlie said, holding her nose high. "Kind of. Mostly."

"Yeah, just like someone is boulder proof until get squished," Adam shot back with a chuckle. Charlie giggled a little bit too.

Lucifer watched the exchange with a puzzled look. Not only was Adam having an easy, if not crass conversation with his daughter, but he was obviously not going as fast as he could. The pace was rather comfortable for Dazzle.

"So...let yourself go a bit?" Lucifer tried with some caution.

"It's a robe, Daddy!" Charlie informed helpfully. "He's skinny underneath."

"..." Lucifer stared in alarm. "Charlie, why do you know that? Adam, why does my daughter know that?!"

"Daddy! I just felt it through the robe when I rode on his back a couple times," Charlie answered with a smile.

"Rode on his back...?" Lucifer repeated in something approaching fatherly despair, eyes shrunken a bit.

They couldn't see it, but Adam smirked as he flew closer to Charlie.

The Princess blinked before grinning widely as she held Razzle tight in her arm, jumping onto Adam's back. Lucifer gapped out a silent scream of parental jealousy while he watched Charlie settle onto Adam's back. Dazzle gave a roaring 'baa' before shrinking down in a poof of flames, the two goat-dragons settling on either side of Charlie while between Adam's large wings.

"Daz's wing healed fine from the wolff*ck?" Adam asked idly.

"Yeah, Mommy and Daddy helped teach me how to set it and help heal it," Charlie answered proudly. She giggled as Razzle nuzzled into one of Adam's wings. "Razzle said thanks for saving Dazzle too!"

"This is a nightmare," Lucifer whispered to himself, running a hand over his face. "I'm just having a bad dream. I'll wake up in a moment and still be wondering what to say to Adam at the Extermination. And maybe I won't bring Charlie along after all."

"Daddy, who are you talking to?!" Charlie called back to him.

"No one, CharChar, no one at all!" Lucifer answered with a convincing smile. He suddenly flew up to fly beside them and brought out all six wings.

"Hey! Watch your lane!" Adam snapped in annoyance.

"Would you like to fly with me, CharChar? I'm sure my wings are comfier?" Lucifer offered with a hopeful grin.

"Too late," Adam said, nodding to the manor just in front of them. "We're already here."

Lucifer deadpanned, eyelid twitching madly.

"Can you take me flying tomorrow, Daddy?" Charlie asked with a smile.

"Absolutely, CharChar!" Lucifer answered instantly, reaching for her. "Now, let's just get you-hey!"

Adam gently descended to the balcony, just before Lucifer could pluck Charlie off his back.

They landed and Lucifer's annoyance went away with a mix of awe and envy over- of all things- Adam's robe.

With how long it was, Charlie slid down Adam's back safely and easily, landing on her little feet with Razzle and Dazzle floating down to join her. "Thanks for the ride, Adam," Charlie said with a smile.

"I know, I'm awesome. Hold your applause, Hellflake," Adam boasted playfully.

Charlie giggled and Lucifer felt part of himself dying a little inside.

How did his daughter get comfortable and friendly with ADAM after spending less than a day a year with him!?

And why, by the Ashes of Eden, was Adam returning it so willingly and easily!?

True, he hadn't personally spoken to Adam in thousands of years, but it wasn't hard to get footage of him on Extermination Day or hear how he acted in meetings at the embassy. If he wasn't praising his own nuts, he was laughing about killing demons.

And somehow, there was some kind of weird friendship between him and his precious, too-kind-to-be-real daughter?!

"Well, I should head out. Places to blow up, Sinners to smoke," Adam said with a grin with a hint of sadism.

"Please don't kill too many?" Charlie requested, somehow both resigned and hopeful.

"Hellflake, I'm not going to lie to you and say I won't," Adam answered honestly. "See you next year, I'm sure."

With that, he took to the sky. He glanced over his shoulder as Lucifer led Charlie inside, presumably for bed.

With that, Adam made a U-turn and flew to the roof of the Devil's Manor. He landed, crossing his arms, and waited with more patience than he normally cared to have.

Just as he expected, a portal opened as Lucifer stepped through, waving to the other side still. "Goodnight, my princess! I love you!" Lucifer said with a loving smile. It lasted until after the portal closed, turning into a scowl as he turned to Adam, pointing a finger at him. "Now you listen here you-"

Adam was already in his face. "How Are You Such A sh*t Father?!" Adam snapped, hissing it out to avoid yelling loud enough for Charlie to hear.

"I-What?" Lucifer said in surprise.

"You waited ten thousand years to have kids and neither of you bothered to learn the most basic thing! Literally, the first thing I figured out about being a parent after my children started to walk: Make sure the kids are safe in the cave when something dangerous is going on outside!" Adam ranted on.

"I didn't know she could undo the wards around her room!" Lucifer defended with a glare.

"Your daughter has been able to break out of her room, without you knowing, for more than five years," Adam deadpanned. "sh*t. Father."

Lucifer winced but glared back all the same. "Okay, you little prick. What is going on?"

"Besides you being a sh*t father?" Adam countered.

"Stop!" Lucifer growled. "I was serious, you egotistical ass! I wanted to thank you! But I also wanted to know why?"

"Let me ask you this," Adam retorted, leaning down. "I am your enemy. The man that hates you,both of you, most in all of time and space! No exception. So why am"I"the one who had to saveyourdaughter while she was attacked inyourkingdom by one ofyoursinners?!"

"Don't you think I get that!?" Lucifer shot back with a self-loathing look about himself. "That I didn't have nightmares about what she told me for weeks!? That I wasn't beating myself up knowing I almost lost my CharChar?!"

Adam stared before his face turned neutral. "Good. Amazingly, you're not a total failure at fatherhood yet."

"I don't appreciate the yet, Adam," Lucifer said, rubbing his head. "Want me on my knees, expressing my gratitude?"

"Not you, not even your wife," Adam retorted instantly. "I just wanted to get across that I think you're a sh*t father so far."

"Message received," Lucifer said with a sigh. "Why? I'm grateful, but WHY would you help and protect Charlie?"

"I am a big f*cking advocate against anything amounting to "Sins of the Father" bullsh*t," Adam said flatly. "Don't get me wrong, I fully expect this Hellflake to melt away and reveal another demon feasting on the suffering around her. But right now? She's a Hellflake that insists on visiting me every year."

Lucifer huffed. "Yes, well, that won't be happening anymore."

"And you think that'll work," Adam said with a snort. "Given everything?"

Lucifer raised an eyebrow. "Are you...comparing Charlie and you to Lilith and I?"

"You know, there are two ways to take that. Your way is disgusting," Adam said flatly. "My way? Well, I certainly hope your daughter can't ruin creation more than you both did."

Lucifer went rigid and gripped his cane tightly.

"Are you done now?" Adam asked pointedly.

Lucifer scowled and looked back at him. "You know, right now? I can still kick your ass."

Adam didn't flinch. "That won't change how sh*t of a father you are," Adam pointed out scathingly.

Lucifer shook his head. "Fine, yes, we're done."

Adam took to the sky before the last syllable was even uttered.

Lucifer watched him leave with a scowl. He had a lot to think about. A lot to talk about. And he had to update the wards around Charlie's room.

By the end of the purge, Lute found Adam sitting on top of the clock tower, taking potshots at demons he spots across the city from his perch. Sometimes he was just destroying part of a building for fun.

"Sir?" Lute addressed in concern. "I'm sorry, Sir. This is probably our least successful purge of all time. I have no excuse."

"Yeah, you f*cking do. You all were worrying your tit* over what me and Old Scratch might end up doing," Adam said flatly, giving her a stare. "You'll be happy to know I held it together and didn't make either of us break the treaty."

Lute nodded. "Then why are you so unhappy, Sir?"

"Wasn't easy, not taking a shot at him," Adam remarked. "Used up so much energy not fighting, I barely felt up to joining the purge at all. Sorry to be a downer."

"It's perfectly fine, Sir," Lute said. "Is the whor*spawn okay?"

"You worried about the Hellflake?" Adam asked with a chuckle.

"Only if you are, Sir."

Adam waved that question away. "Hellflake is fine. Her dad is just the same little bitch he always was."

Lute nodded absently. "Sir?"

"Hmm?"

"The Exorcists exist to aid you manage the threat Hell poses to Heaven," Lute reminded.

"I'm well f*cking aware of why I'm your boss, Bitch," Adam said with an eye roll.

"Just wanted you to know where I- where we stand, Sir."

Adam quirked his head at her. "So, if I told you to place your hands against a wall?"

Lute mirrored his gesture. "Which wall?"

Extermination Day, 1927

No Charlie this year.

Adam imagined her cooped up in her room for once and wondered if she would be sulking at not getting to go out or angry that her father stopped her from doing something dangerous.

Not that it mattered, really.

"Guess I get a full day this year," Adam mused. If his grin wasn't as wide as it normally was, no one mentioned it. "Okay, Ladies! Let's get a killing! They got too f*cking comfortable after last year."

The Exorcists let out a cheer of bloodlust as they began to descend upon Hell.

"Lute, f*ck the scoreboard this year for me. I'm getting a big ass, Overlord," Adam said with a wicked smile on his helm.

His second in command said nothing, but her mood mirrored him; eager for sinner blood.

It only took an hour before they had a demon squealing.

"Here! He's up here!" the fly demon said quickly, pointing to what passed for a normal building in hell. "Third floor in the back, Room 43! N-now you'll let me go, right?!"

"If he's in there, Pukef*ck," Adam said, making a noise of disgust as the fly actually did vomit from his mouth. "Guh! Get that on my girls and we're gutting you no matter what!"

The demon quivered under the looks of the exorcists staring down at him.

"Two of you stay here with this stinkass. The other three? Once Lute and I got the prize, f*ck up any sinner trying to poke their ass in on us," Adam instructed.

"Gladly, Sir," Lute answered for all of them.

Like specters of death, they entered the establishment. Some kind of apartment complex. Everyone was already cleared out, but the few who saw them were too terrified to scream and draw their attention. Instead, the sinners either found someplace to hide or escape the building as silently as possible.

They found the room soon enough. In the middle of the building, away from any windows. There was a rather large sinner guarding the door, rather shocked to see them. Lute shot forward and stabbed him through the throat before he could even get over his shock.

Adam whistled to himself as he came up to the door. He paused for one second, listening for anything interesting. Finding none, he promptly kicked the door down. "Guess who, Bitch!?"

Inside was a rather long-necked man, vaguely looking Indian with burnt skin, four arms, and horns. He was lying on a large round bed, the air thick with some kind of narcotic smoke, and two demonesses in bed with him. Naturally, they all leaped in alarm.

"Angels- here!?" one of the demonesses said in fear.

"You f*cker, you said we were safe here!" the other screamed, glaring at the overlord.

Said Overlord only starred before throwing, literally throwing one of the female sinners at Adam.

She screamed in terror as he backhanded her with his wing. It didn't just cut her, it shredded her into demonic mince meat.

The overlord made a run for it, leaping into a wall to plow through it. He didn't stop, running through walls until he was out of the building, leaping down into the road below.

He landed mere feet from the two exorcists and the fly demon. One of them stabbed a spear into his leg, making him growl in defeat as the pain brought him to his knees.

"Well, you can go," one of the exorcists said dryly, the fly sinner scurrying away quickly.

"Damn traitor. I'll strangle him with his own legs if I don't die here!" the overlord growled out in rage and denial.

"Like you'll get that chance!" Adam yelled out as he joined. "Nice work, ladies."

"Sir!" the exorcists nodded.

Adam looked down at his catch. "Well, well, King Thug himself."

"And you would be Svayambhuva Manu," Thug said with a scowl.

"Right, one of my other names. I like Adam more. Less of a mouthful, still awesome," Adam said nonchalantly. "Now, I heard you offed over a hundred people? Some of my girls don't get that many kills in a purge. And strangling? Horrible way to murder, interesting kink though."

"Thank you for the COMPLIMENT!" Thug roared, his third eye firing a beam of green energy.

There was a gasp as Adam was hit head-on by the attack, smoke covering him.

Thug panted heavily but grew increasingly worried when the exorcists didn't react, didn't even move after he attacked their leader.

Adam's hand reached out and practically slammed onto the top of Thug's head. Without wasting a second, he casually and mercilessly stuck his thumb through the third eye, making Thug scream in pain. His attempt to get free only further damaged the eye socket that Adam held to as he leaned out of the smoke with a terrifying grin.

"That's adorable. Now, let's see what happens first: You die or I lobotomize you," Adam said as he slowly pumped holy energy through his finger and directly into the sinner's mind.

It was like acid and salt had been poured into Thug's skull, then Set On Fire Because Every Piece of His Soul Was-!

Thug's eyes clouded over as he started to drool, still breathing.

"Oh, f*ck, I didn't think that'd actually work!" Adam said with a laugh before blasting the head away entirely.

"I'm surprised you didn't leave him like that, Sir," one of the other exorcists said.

Adam snorted. "Ladies, I have class. I will kill sinners all day, but with some vile exceptions, I'll put them out of their misery instead of leaving them for the wolves. You know how this place gets after we've had our fun."

"Nothing but endless civil war over every inch of territory without an owner. As if one block of sh*t is much different from the next," Lute remarked knowingly. "What now, Sir?"

"We got an overlord, even if it wasn't a heavy one. Ladies, go have fun. I'm going to "Eenie, Meenie, Tipsy, Toe" over where I'm going next," Adam waved off.

"Sir!" they saluted and flew off.

Lute lingered, giving Adam a knowing look. "Are you sure you don't need company, Sir?"

"No, I'm good," Adam assured, waving her off.

Lute nodded and left with a flap of her wings.

Adam turned to look to the side, starring seemingly at nothing.

The air shimmered to reveal a magical shield, containing a scowling Lucifer and Charlie, who looked saddened but resigned.

"You knew we were here? Lucifer asked in surprise.

Adam looked down at Charlie for a moment before looking at Lucifer with a glare, his halo glowing just a bit brighter. "You f*cking ass. Did you really bring her out here to make her watch me kill someone?"

Lucifer blinked, raising an eyebrow. "What, don't want CharChar to know what you're really like?"

"f*ckwad, she already knew what I'm like. I've made it very clear and reminded her often," Adam said disapprovingly. "So, let me guess. Charlie wanted to come see me again. You didn't like it. So when she insisted, you got the brilliant f*cking idea that making her watch me kill a sinner was a good way to change her mind about me?"

Lucifer was stunned by how accurate that more or less was.

"Well congrats, your royal dickness. All you did was endanger your daughter and nearly make her cry," Adam said flatly as he walked up to them. "Hellflake?"

"Yes, Adam?" she whispered out, not looking up.

"You want to go home now?" Adam asked. His tone wasn't gentle but it wasn't exactly hard either.

"Yes, please. Can we go, Daddy?" Charlie asked pleadingly.

"Charlie, I- of course. I'll take you home now," Lucifer said with a grimace of regret as he moved to pick her up.

Adam watched them as Charlie hugged her arms around her father's neck, staring at Adam with glossy eyes. "Bye, Adam."

"Bye, Hellflake. See you next year," Adam said with a half-wave.

Unseen by Charlie, Lucifer sent a glare of disapproval to Adam for the comment. With that, he made a portal to Charlie's room and took her away. The princess waved goodbye to the angel as they went.

Then, they were back in her room. Lucifer gently placed her on the bed, giving her an apologetic and loving smile. "I'm sorry, Charlie. I think I might have taken that a bit too far," Lucifer said softly.

Charlie just sniffed and refused to look at him, pulling herself up into a ball as Razzle and Dazzle came to cuddle up to her sides to provide emotional support.

Lucifer placed his forehead on hers before kissing her on the cheek. "Goodnight, Princess."

Charlie sat there as her father left, her mind spinning. Extermination Day had always left her feeling sad and stressed. Now it left her confused and uncertain.

Almost without realizing it, she moved to the balcony, taking a seat against the railing. Just like she had the very first night.

Adam was right though.

Yes, the image of him killing someone so cruelly was stuck in her head, watching him utterly annihilate a skull and sending a soul to its second and final death.

But she had always known that. Adam had even admitted that he would have killed her that first night if she had been anyone else.

He didn't kill sinners right in front of her though, not up closer like that. Except that one time that he...that he saved her.

It was surreal to recall because...

She could feel it. His power, his soul, his holy power. It was in every every movement he made.

She knew, in that moment, that Adam could kill her as simple as breathing.

And also that, for some reason, she was perfectly safe with him.

At that moment, she felt as safe with Adam as she did with her mother and father.

She smiled, recalling the feeling vividly.

…Too vividly.

She looked up in alarm and saw Adam sitting on the railing, facing outward with his feet against the side. His right wing was curled to wrap around her.

"You're here?" Charlie asked in surprise.

"Just making sure he didn't give you a beating or anything," Adam answered idly.

Charlie looked stricken rather than outraged. "Daddy would never do that! My parents would never hurt me!" she defended, her emotions still high from the night's events.

"Good," Adam said without hesitation. "A good ass-whooping can help sometimes, but...you're the kind of kid that hardly ever needs one."

Charlie opened her mouth and then closed it slowly. "Thank you," she said uncertainly. "Wait, were you...really worried...?"

"Get used to me assuming the worst of your parents, Hellflake," Adam warned softly. "Do you tell him why you wanted to keep coming to see me?"

"He doesn't think you'll change your mind," Charlie said softly.

"I wouldn't hold my breath on it," Adam admitted with a snort.

"So...why should I bother?" Charlie asked, looking down in depression.

Adam shrugged. "I don't know, why did you bother before?"

"Because I wanted to at least try! Nothing gets better if no one tries!" Charlie exclaimed, sad and frustrated, her demon form taking over.

Adam's golden wing moved a bit closer to her.

"And...and...and I know I'm a kid still! I know I'm tiny and a baby to Mommy, Daddy, a-and even you! I'm only a hundred and twenty, you're thousands of years old!" Charlie forced out in frustration, pausing to take a breath. "But no one is trying. People keep dying, but no one is trying to stop it! And e-even if you say no to me for a hundred years, maybe I can figure something out! If I try enough, if I learn enough...maybe I'll find another way."

"...You're nothing like your parents."

Charlie blinked, looking up at him. "What...?"

He didn't look back. "Trust me, that's the highest f*cking praise from me," Adam said bluntly.

With that, he removed his wing from Charlie and rose to his feet.

"See you next year, Hellflake."

Instead of flying away, he stepped over the edge and allowed himself to fall. As he did, he looked over his shoulder.

There, under the balcony and upside down to the utter defiance of gravity, was Lucifer Morningstar. Adam gave the Devil a pointed look, who scowled with a troubled but resigned look as if he now understood some unpleasant but true.

Without a word, Adam flapped his wing and flew away.

He really hoped he found another Overlord to kill before E-Day was through.

Chapter 4

Chapter Text

Extermination Day, 1928

"Adam!"

"And she's back," one of the exorcists noted as Charlie literally rode up to Adam on Dazzle's back.

"Hellflake," Adam greeted with a raised eyebrow. "Your dad lurking nearby?"

"He left just a moment ago. He wanted me to give you this!" Charlie said, holding up a note for Adam to read with both hands, head face poking above the top.

"...Dammit, she's cute."

The exorcists looked among themselves, trying to figure out who said that to no avail.

Adam elected to ignore that. "Ladies?"

"We know, Sir," Lute acknowledged with a nod as the exterminators fanned out to begin their purge.

Adam, however, leaned forward to read the note.

"Adam,

I admit that handled that poorly, worse than you did even. I'm allowing Charlie to continue these flights with you. Hell only knows why she trusts you, but she does and she takes after her mother plenty."

Adam stopped to snort in obvious disdain.

"Before you rant about me being a "sh*t father" again, I am keeping an eye on things. Since you both insist on this, I'm reluctantly trusting you to keep her safe.

Lucifer."

Adam took the note, crushed it into a ball, and threw it into the air. He then proceeded to flip the bird, destroying the note with a holy laser. "Eye that, Scratch!" Adam said in annoyance.

"That wasn't very nice! He even said I could still fly with you," Charlie said with a huff.

"Hellflake, if your Dad is watching, I'm going to flip him off," Adam said factually as if it was as simple as night and day. "Shall we?"

"...Can I ride on your back again?" Charlie asked in a small, hopeful voice.

"You have goat-horse," Adam pointed out flatly. "Which, admittedly, are kind of badass."

'You said wings are better!" Charlie argued with poof cheeks.

"Uhh, yeah! They are! If they're your own wings," Adam reminded, crossing his arms as Charlie pouted.

"Hmph!" Charlie huffed, looking away.

"Did you hear me say no?" Adam pointed out smugly.

Charlie perked up at that as Dazzle grunted.

Adam pointed a finger right at Dazzle's eye. "You only get a ride because you'd just be a f*cking target if you flew with us."

Dazzle looked down in a sulky manner.

"It's okay, Dazzle, you're still growing," Charlie assured., patting the back of Dazzle's neck comfortingly.

"He is?" Adam asked in legitimate surprise. "Huh. And I thought this was the adult form."

"Nope! They'll get really, really big when they're older!" Charlie assured, Dazzle baaing proudly.

Adam shrugged at that as he flew over. "Okay, jump on before I change my mind."

Charlie agreed quickly, jumping onto his back, soon joined by a now-smaller Dazzle.

"Hey, umm, Adam? Is something going on in the human world?" Charlie asked in concern.

"Some kind of big boom with their current money systems. Automobiles are more of a thing. Films have sound now," Adam mused.

"They do!?" Charlie said in amazement, eyes sparkling. "I thought we had to add that in with magic...!?"

"Yeah, I know right?" Adam agreed with a chuckle.

"B-but that's not what I meant!" Charlie said quickly. "It's just, well... more Sinners are showing up than normal, and most of them are Chinese?"

"Oh, yeah, that. They started a civil war last year. Over what, I don't even know," Adam said with distaste.

"I always thought it'd be nice in Heaven, being able to watch what happens on Earth," Charlie said with a frown. "It sounds awful, watching all of that."

Adam was silent for a long moment before he spoke. "You ever seen a polar bear?"

"What? Umm, yes. A sinner polar bear, but yes, why?" Charlie answered curiously.

"What color are they?" Adam asked.

"White?" Charlie answered with a furrowed brow.

"ZZZZZ!" Adam made a loud noise, like some kind of buzzer. "Wrong! They're black!"

"What? No, they're not!" Charlie insisted.

"The fur is white. Their bodies are black underneath," Adam explained. "Is it white just because you can only see the fur and not the skin?"

"I...think so?" Charlie answered thoughtfully.

"Eh, probably should have just used the old zebra analogy. You know those f*ckers actually are black with white stripes?" Adam said with a cackle

"Now you're just trying to make me feel stupid," Charlie accused, despite her smile.

"The round-ass point I'm trying to make? Most of the time, the living world is as great or as terrible as you think it is. Look for good things, you'll find them. Look for bad, you find them too," Adam explained. "Bad sh*t just stinks more so it's easier to spot."

Charlie opened her mouth, then stopped. Suddenly, slowly, she looked up at around Pentagram City. Not at the purges below, but the new souls that were unfortunate enough to die and drop in on this day of all days.

"Hellflake? You doze off back there? You better not be drooling on my wings," Adam warned.

"Yeah, yeah I'm okay," Charlie said with a distracted voice, Dazzle rubbing her side, prompting her to pet his head. "Adam?"

"Hmm?"

"I've tried asking my parents about...things. Things I should probably ask them instead of you," Charlie started. "But..."

"What didn't they explain this f*cking time?" Adam asked bluntly.

"I asked about Eden."

Adam paused for a minute. "Yeah, that'll probably do it."

"I don't mean about what happened! I...wanted to know that too, but..." Charlie shook her head. "What I mean is, I tried asking about Eden itself. What it was like and everything. But Mommy and Daddy said it's hard to explain."

"Yeah, that's about dead on the money," Adam admitted with a sigh. "Hellflake? I'll make you a deal."

"...Can Angels make deals...?" Charlie asked in bewilderment.

"Not that kind, you marshmallow-brained butter-moth," Adam said with an eye roll.

"...That was the most delicious insult I ever heard," Charlie said, touching her stomach. "I'm hungry now."

"Focus," Adam reminded in amusem*nt. "Here's the deal. You still need an answer by next year? I'll answer it."

"Okay, but can you...tell me why it's hard to explain at least?" Charlie asked, truly bewildered at this point.

Adam mulled over how to summarize this. "You know how the story goes that I named every f*cking thing in the Garden?"

"Yes?" Charlie accepted with a head tilt.

"Yeah, it was a lot more complicated than that. It wasn't just picking sounds for a name, it was defining what that name meant. And trust me, that sh*t is not as boring as it f*cking sounds," Adam said with a chuckle.

"Now I really want to know!" Charlie said in disappointment.

"Sucks to suck, whine to your parents," Adam retorted with a grin.

With a final groan from Charlie, Adam arrived at her balcony. Despite that, Charlie slid down his robes with a smile. "Fine, deal! And you're an angel, so you have to keep it even though we didn't shake on it!"

"Sure, Hellflake, whatever you say," Adam waved off with a chuckle.

Before they could say anything else, a loud crash rang through the room.

Adam's long golden wing instantly moved in front of Charlie, who stood on her toes to look over the wing and see what happened.

Her harp had fallen over, falling to the floor after knocking over her chair and sending the violin case falling to the floor.

"CHARLIE!" Lucifer exclaimed, barging in exactly one second after the crash.

"Daddy, I'm fine!" she said as Adam withdrew his wing." Razzle just knocked the harp over when we woke him up."

The ascended human and fallen angel looked to the corner again and saw that Razzle was indeed sitting there with a rather stupid and/or innocent look on his face.

"Oh," Lucifer said in understanding before wagging his finger at the creature. "Naughty Razzle, giving us all a fright."

"The Harp broke," Adam pointed out bluntly, noticing some broken strings.

"Oh. Momma got that for my ninety-sixth birthday," Charlie said in disappointment. "Daddy, can you fix it?"

"No problem honey!" Lucifer assured with a smile, twirling his cane before zapping the harp. The harp was set back upright and the wires fixed. Lucifer leaned over and plucked them each, frowning as one was loose. Another zap and it was properly tuned. "There, all fixed again!"

"Again?" Adam asked automatically, glancing at Charlie.

She smiled sheepishly. "I might have gotten my horns caught in them once and forgot how to make them go away."

"You should have seen her when-" Lucifer started with a wide smile, but stopped when he remembered who he was talking to. "Right, ignore me and all."

"Already doing that," Adam said flatly. An uneasy silence came over the room, which Adam decided needed to die after Charlie started looking between them. "f*ck it. Hellflake wants to know what Eden was like. As a place. I'm sure you f*ckers told her your version of what happened as a bedtime story-"

Charlie nodded automatically, confirming that guess.

"-so are you going to bitch if I fill her in on this secret setting factoid?" Adam asked with his arms crossed.

Lucifer blinked thoughtfully. "Do you think you could explain it better than us?"

Surprisingly, it was less a challenge and more an honest question.

"I'm a bit rusty, but I had to explain this sh*t about ten thousand f*cking times while I was alive," Adam said as something glitched across his mask. "At least she knows it was real."

There was something bitter and ancient in that final comment. "What do you mean?" Charlie asked with a head tilt.

Adam hadn't realized he said that part out loud. He slowly balled his fist, casting a glare at Lucifer. The Devil looked surprised, but it quickly shifted to an almost resigned look.

"W-what? What did I say now?" Charlie asked apologetically, looking between the two men for answers.

Adam let out a long breath and opened his fists. "Nothing. I got to go."

He turned and made to leave before Charlie could process or question that, taking off into the sky.

Charlie looked back at her father with wide, questioning eyes. "Daddy? Who did he mean? What did I do?"

Lucifer cringed a bit at the question but answered. "That's not my story to tell, Princess."

Lute was fighting what was, in simplest terms, a two-headed minotaur when Adam came down and bisected it in half. "Hey, Dangertit*, how's the day rolling?" he asked with a grin as the demon's two halves fell away in a bloody mess.

"Sir," she greeted, glancing back to a window where she knew a sinner was hiding. "No Overlords tonight, or informants. I think the Overlords are taking precautions."

"Let'em, it'll backfire on them eventually. The more souls they have, the more f*ckers to sell their asses up sh*t creek," Adam said confidently. "..."

Lute knew Adam well. His mask didn't exist to her at this point. "What's wrong, Sir?"

"Kid asked about some ancient history, dragging up old memories," Adam answered as he looked at her.

Lute's stoic face briefly morphed into a look of sympathy and sadness. She tried to cover it up, but she knew he saw it.

"You looked at me just like that when we first met."

Lute's eyes widened at that as the two stared at each other. For one second, Hell faded away and they were lost in some ancient memory only they both knew of.

"Lord Adam, I-" Lute started, only to stop as he shot a beam of light right by her head. Unafraid, she looked back and saw some sinner crumble out of an alleyway.

"Right, you did use to call me "Lord Adam" and sh*t like that," Adam recalled with a chuckle. "When did you switch to Sir again?"

Lute's face shifted back into her normal expression as she answered. "I don't recall, Sir."

She was lying and they both knew it. But neither of them wanted to talk about it more.

Extermination Day, 1929

"Are there baby heavenborn?" Adam repeated with a raised eyebrow. "Kid, didn't you want to know about Eden?"

'Yeah, but it's not like this'll take long, right?" Charlie asked from on his back. "Or is it a long answer?"

"Eh, not really long. There's plenty, sure. But most are just from your everyday halo-f*cker. There's one who is about your age, in more ways than one," Adam informed.

"Huh? You mean she's...?"

"One-hundred ten, going on twelve," Adam answered with a chuckle. "She's the newest seraphim. The Empyrean's metaphorical c*nt hasn't popped one of her out since the damn pyramids started getting built."

"Empyrean?" Charlie asked with a frown.

"It's just what we call where Heavenborn pop out of if they're not born without a c*nt and dick involved," Adam waved off. "Anything else?"

"What's her name? What's she like?" Charlie asked eagerly.

"What, the Baby-phim? Her name is Emily and she's..." Adam trailed off.

"She's, what?" Charlie prompted.

"Honestly? She's a lot like you, just in heaven. Always wanting to learn more about how to help souls enjoy and settle being in Heaven," Adam explained, surprised to realize this himself.

"She sounds nice!" Charlie said before looking sheepish. "But I guess that's normal. She is an angel born in heaven."

"So was your father, "Adam reminded with a hint of coldness.

Charlie opened her mouth to say something but thought better of it. "Do you, umm, like her?"

"Kid, she's a kid," Adam reminded. "f*cks like that go down here."

"No, not like that! I mean, are you friends with her?" Charlie clarified quickly.

"I...don't feel either way on the little f*cker? There's this other Seraphim, Sera? She's kind of acting as Emily's big sis or mom or whatever while teaching her the celestial ropes. Probably doesn't want me around her too much, bad influence and all. Sera's great, sometimes has another halo up her ass, but her protective instincts popped out big for this moth-sprout. Don't even think she f*cking noticed!"

Charlie tilted her head. "Have you tried talking to Emily at all?"

"Eh. Not really," Adam answered. "Why?"

"Well..." Charlie trailed off.

"Clocks ticking, Hellflake," Adam reminded.

"I don't know. I like talking to you. I just think maybe she would too," Charlie answered. "I mean, angels like her help humans be happy in heaven, right? And you're the First Man, so wouldn't you be able to help her with that a lot?"

Adam had no clever argument against that logic, so pivoted to a different one. "What makes you think I'd want to spend time with a heavenborn brat?"

"Becaaaaaause you like exterminating sinners but spend part of E-Day with me every year?" Charlie answered playfully.

Adam contemplated dropping Charlie. Catching her, obviously, but dropping her all the same. "So. Eden?"

"Yes, please, tell me!" Charlie answered eagerly, flopping again his back dramatically. "I'm burning to know."

"Was that the f*cking hell pun?" Adam asked and took a breath. "Okay, Eden wasn't just a place. It was it's own reality and, more importantly, it was a f*cking Idea."

"An idea?" Charlie repeated in confusion.

"Everything was...fluid. Wavy? f*ck, there are literally no good words for this," Adam admitted. "Look, humans were created in the image of the Angels. Everything else was more of a...concept. I helped figure out what things should be like. Should leaves be green, red, or blue? Should a dog have fur or scales? We decided that stuff."

"We? You mean, you and...Mommy?" Charlie asked tentatively. She knew talking about her parents as more than just, well, her parents was a tricky thing to do without making Adam angry in some way.

Adam took a deep breath. "No, but also yes. I meant "we" as in us and the Angels. The angels were...outside it. Above and beyond it. As the Frist Man, I was like the f*cking holy editor. I fine-tuned a lot of the little concepts of Creation. They all saw things better through human eyes, since we that had to live with and experience it all, being part of Creation."

"I...Okay, that is a bit confusing," Charlie admitted curiously. "And naming things...?"

"Naming things was basically the stamp of approval and an entry into the cosmic dictionary. Example? I made a fruit that was long and yellow and named it a banana."

"...Was that made to look like your...dick?" Charlie asked in morbid curiosity.

"Full honesty? No, I just wanted a f*cking fruit that wasn't round and I could still grab," Adam explained. "I won't get into the sh*t that went down, but yes, your bitch of a mother could do the same stuff before she split. So could Eve."

Charlie frowned but didn't try to say anything against the insult to her mother. Best to avoid that subject. Mostly. "Can I ask...what was some of the stuff Mom named and...made? Formed? Shaped?"

This subject didn't rile Adam as much as even he expected. "Elephants, she had the trunk idea. Hyenas, to no f*cking surprise. If you know, Hellflake, you know. She made up the overall idea behind how a lot of insects act as a hive. We both had the same damn idea and ended up making Crocodiles and Alligators. We fought about that one, so f*cking sure we each stole the idea from the other."

"...What did Eve make?" Charlie asked softly.

Adam smiled suddenly. "The sun."

Charlie started. "That didn't already...exist?"

"Before, the day and night just "were." The light was spread across the sky evenly, fading away for the night and back again to the day. She whispered to the angels because she wanted to surprise me. They liked the idea so much, forming it into a ball that would let us know how long the day had left," Adam explained nostalgically. "The First Sunrise, the First Sunset. I never could decide when I liked more."

"That sounds amazing. And...nice," Charlie said, deep in thought.

"It was," Adam agreed absently, the ghost of a ghost of a smile on the mask.

"...Who made the platypus?" Charlie asked suddenly.

"sh*t. Okay, that was...Look, it started as one of your father's co*cked-up concepts he snuck into Eden! He got an earful for that one. I think they invented thunder just by yelling at him sometimes," Adam said in frustration. "We made it work, even if it was always a weird little f*cker. Trust me, that little piece of sh*t was worse when we first got it!" Adam said with some revulsion.

Charlie almost giggled at that but held it back as she looked forward. "We're almost home."

"Yep," Adam acknowledged. "Any last questions?"

Charlie tapped her chin. "Mommy and Daddy told me a bit about Eden too. Your way has a lot of cuss words, but it was still easier to understand. I think they had trouble avoiding talking about...what else happened."

Adam grunted, deigning not to say anything about that. "Not a question, Hellflake."

"...Was there ice in Eden?" Charlie asked innocently.

Adam blinked in bewilderment. "Say what again?"

"Well, it always sounds like it was a nice and sunny day there. So, did it have ice?"

"Huh," Adam scratched his head. "I have been asked questions about Eden for ten thousand years. Was there ice? Okay, that's...that's a first for me. I don't get those too often anymore."

"Not an answer," Charlie said, smiling as she returned his words.

"There wasn't supposed to be? Seasons didn't f*cking exist. We had warm days and cool nights. sh*t didn't burn or freeze. But there was this angel, Hishkael? You never heard of him. Your father convinced him to turn some water to ice," Adam explained, still a bit amazed by the actual new question. "It was...interesting at the time. Learned really f*cking fast why there wasn't ice in Eden after my first winter."

Charlie didn't know how to respond to that. "I wish I could have seen it."

"You and every generation of mankind," Adam remarked with a frown.

"I'm...sorry, I shouldn't have said that," Charlie apologized.

"Nah, you got more f*cking tact than most adults that ever asked me this sh*t," Adam assured as they came down for a landing. "Well, I gotta go. Sinners aren't going to kill themselves."

"You know they will," Charlie retorted flatly. "They just don't stay dead that way."

"Oh, sharp. Getting a sharp tongue, Hellflake?" Adam asked with a grin taking to the air slightly. "Later. I'd say drive your parents crazy, but you are regrettably too good of a brat for that."

"Goodbye! I'd say be safe, but I'm more worried about everyone else!" Charlie called out as Adam flew away. She smiled before she heard the door open, smiling at the visitor. "Mommy! Why didn't you ever tell me you made the elephants?!"

Adam didn't fly far before he found a rather surprising sight. It wasn't his girls or anything else.

It was a sinner on the top of a roof, waving a white flag.

Adam landed with narrowed eyes. "You got a double-death wish or something?"

"Aye, aye, I do my friend," the sinner said with an empty smile as he sat down on the edge of the roof. He was mostly human, save some kind of canine ears and teeth. He had the look of a cowboy, down to a Stetson hat. By his face and accent, Adam was guessing Mexican. "Are you by chance the great angel, Michael?"

"Not a chance," Adam said evenly.

"I'm...somewhat new here, my friend. And I'm not surprised I belonged here," the sinner admitted

Adam studied the man's look of regret. "You want something before I kill you, don't you?"

The sinner nodded. "I won't trouble your holy ears with my excuses. I just want to know...were we wrong? The war I was in, was against those we felt were acting against the church and God. Am I here, because we were wrong about the war, entirely? Or-"

"If you're asking if you were damned for choosing the wrong cause, the answer is no," Adam answered with a calm but brutal honesty. "You get into Hell for what you did on Earth, not what you believed came next.

The man paused before smiling. "Good. Good. I'm sure many of my friends are in Heaven then. They didn't..."

Adam summoned his spear to his hand. "If you want to say whatever the f*ck you did, you can. You're not the first or the last to ask me to end them down here."

"Thank you, my friend, I appreciate it," he answered with a weak smile. "My brother died in the war. In my grief, I did some...terrible things. Terrible things to people who did not deserve the wrath my grief brought out."

Adam said nothing as he approached the sinner.

"One final thing, my good angel. Might I know the name of who will end my suffering?" the sinner asked gently as he watched the approaching spear tip.

Adam struck instantly, spear through the heart. It wasn't instant, but it was more painless than most ways he killed demons. As the sinner started to succumb to his second death, Adam granted his answer. "My name is Adam."

The sinner's eyes went wide with awe before a look of pity and apology came around his eyes as the light faded from them.

Adam removed his spear sharply, the body collapsing on the roof. He stared down at the soldier before looking up. "You enjoy trying to creep on me, Lute?"

Lute didn't take the bait. "It's been a few decades since you had a sinner ask for that, Sir."

Adam nodded absently. "Yeah, most of the assholes that want to be put down just run right at one of you girls or flag one of your tight asses down."

Lute nodded to herself. "We have an Overlord, Sir. Though..."

Adam turned to glance at her. "What now, Dangertit*?"

"It's just..." Lute made an awkward face. "It's Rasputin, Sir."

"..." Adam stared for a good moment. "Didn't we kill him already?"

"That is what I thought, Sir," Lute said in confusion.

Adam shook his head. "Well, I'll just have to do him in harder this time."

Lute co*cked her head.

"You know what I f*cking meant, Bitch."

One Month Later

Adam heavily debated the wisdom in listening to the advice of the youngest Morningstar, Hellflake or no Hellflake. But he also knew if he didn't, she'd ask next year. Then the year after that, and so on.

And lying would be too much effort, so he just decided to say f*ck it and snap the metaphorical limb back in place.

"Yo, Fluffles."

"EEEEE!" Emily squeaked, literally squeaked as she nearly fell into the water's outside heaven. Well, outside the city at least. "Adam! Sir Adam? Lord Adam?"

"Adam. My name is title enough," Adam said proudly. "What you up to, Ems?"

Emily co*cked her head. "You know who I am? I...don't mean to be rude, but I didn't think you would care to remember me."

"Sera may have gushed about you," Adam informed with a smirk. "She didn't ever do that before your little ass popped into existence."

Emily winced slightly at the profanity. "Sera, umm, warned me you had a certain charm to you."

"I bet she f*cking did," Adam said with a grin. "But seriously, Little Fluff, the f*ck you doing out here? We got better beaches."

"I'm not here to play," Emily said politely, smiling with some embarrassment. "I was just out practicing. Sera is busy and I didn't want to trouble her."

"Kay," Adam acknowledged with a nod. "Still doesn't say why you're out here. This is literally the side of heaven we reserve when assholes want peace and quiet to just let out mind jack off into eternity."

Emily started at that. "Oh no, I didn't disturb or frighten someone, did I? Ohh, I knew I should have just waited for Sera, but she can be so busy and-"

Adam placed a hand on her shoulder. "Emmy, Flufflecake? Cool your roll."

"I...Flufflecake...?" Emily repeated in surprise.

"Nobody is around here. Now why don't you tell this old asshole what the f*ck you're so work up about?" Adam asked, pulling out his knowing grin. The old grin he pulled out when he decided to out-wait a brat's stubbornness.

Emily blushed in embarrassment, rubbing her foot against the floor. "I'm over a hundred years old, but everyone still treats me like a little kid."

"You ARE a kid," Adam agreed bluntly.

"Yeah, but not a LITTLE one!" Emily argued. "I know I have a lot to learn, but everyone treats it like it doesn't matter if it takes me another century or two to learn how to help the souls in Heaven."

"Fluffers, it doesn't matter to them," Adam informed. "The old bats and I are ancient, a century isn't worth sh*t worrying about."

"It IS worth sh*t to me though!" Emily countered before frowning. "Wait, was that the right counter...?"

"Nah, I get it," Adam waved off. "You're young and want to make your tiny winged ass useful. I get that, I really do. But you still haven't answered what the f*ck you're doing out here, exactly."

"Oh," Emily said in thought. "Well, True Angels, especially Seraphims, can use our powers to help conjure things from the Aether. Toys, tools, and even more buildings and landscapes. I'm still young and growing into my powers, so it's not as easy for me."

"Okay, I get why'd you practice out here," Adam mused. "Want some help?"

"I don't mean to be rude, but why do you...care?" Emily asked slowly, wincing a bit at her own question. "I mean, I appreciate it, of course! But I thought you didn't care for me? We have hardly ever spoken yet. Did Sera ask you to watch after me?"

"Nope!" Adam answered smugly. "Honestly, someone I knew thought I should try and talk to you, so here I am."

Emily hummed. "So, this is a...whim?"

"Call it a Random Asshole's Act of Kindness," Adam waved off.

Emily smiled. "I think I would appreciate that. I've actually always wanted to learn more about you?"

Adam rolled his eyes with a smirk. "Yeah, I know, First Man and all that."

"Well, yes, that, but you're also the First Ascended," Emily said with a smile.

Adam started at that. "Oh, Sera already told you about that?" he asked, mildly surprised.

"Of course! You're the first human not only to enter Heaven but the first to ascend to being a True Angel instead of...!" Emily suddenly trailed off with a considering look. "It sounds kind of condescending to say "just winners.""

Adam glanced at one of his wings instinctively. "Hadn't really thought about that in a while. Nobody usually brings that up anymore. But I guess being the First of so many things means some of them get overlooked a lot."

Emily nodded in agreement, very rapidly. "It just occurred to me, well...since you ascended, I thought you might know how to help train me some?"

"Sure, my ass has got bitch-all else to do at the moment," Adam granted. "So, what are you trying to do?"

"How to use my powers to make music for everyone to enjoy," Emily answered innocently.

"...Oh, f*ck yes, this might actually be fun."

Emily smiled broadly at the prospect.

Chapter 5

Chapter Text

Five Months Before Extermination Day, 1930

Emily found that she learned a lot from Adam. Even more than she expected! It was easy to forget that he was among the most ancient of souls in all of Creation.

"Okay, Fluffcake, follow me. I got something interesting for you today."

Thus, she didn't question him before taking to the air with him and following curiously. They flew in silence for a while until they reached the Pearly Gates, with Adam taking a seat on the curled scroll bars on top. The young seraphim joined him with great intrigue as they settled into a silence, Adam leaned against the curving scrolls atop the wall while Emily sat upright and at attention. She watched on as a steady flow of new souls walked up to the entrance to the Gates of Heaven to be greeted and welcomed by Saint Peter.

"...What are we doing?" Emily finally asked.

Adam chuckled from his position. "Seeing how long you can keep your little ass still," he answered, getting a pout from Emily as she crossed her arms. "Tell me what you see, Fluffcake?"

Emily looked back out, tilting her head. "Souls walking up the path to meet Saint Peter?"

"Yep. Now, why do you think the first f*cking mug a winner sees is Petey?" Adam asked with a grin.

"Because you don't want to do it?" Emily guessed, mostly joking.

"Nah, but also yeah. I left that hat a long time ago," Adam waved off lazily.

Emily blinked. "Wait, you used to have Peter's job?"

"Fluffles, I invented it," Adam said with a snort. "I had to explain this sh*t to Sera and the others, not surprised I need to tell it to you too. Earthborn souls leave behind their trauma and everything when they get to Heaven, but it still takes a f*cking bit for it to set in. Having another human greet them makes it more real, helps them realize that they actually made it. That all the piss and sh*t is over. They're in Heaven, and they can rest. Relax. Enjoy f*cking Paradise."

"But don't they already know it's true, in their souls?" Emily asked uncertainly. "I know Sera and the others told that a soul can feel it, as they shed the mortal coil and are free of sin's grasp."

Adam sighed heavily. "And this is some of the sh*t you and the other Heavenborn will never really understand, Emily."

She started a bit, redoubling her attention. With Adam, she learned if he used her name, it meant he was about to say something important.

"You never had to struggle in mud, to know how much it hurts to try so hard and lose anyway. You never knew the absolute depths of despair, or why some people thought hope was a cruel emotion. You've never known the dread of thinking something was too good to be true, and waiting for the other shoe to drop," Adam said, his tone older and wiser than he normally let it be.

Emily ducked her head a bit as she looked down. It was true. As a heavenborn, let alone a Seraphim, she had known nothing but a life of bliss and happiness in Heaven. It made her feel all the more duty-bound to help bring joy to the souls from Earth, most of whom had endured through things she could scarcely imagine.

"When people get to Heaven, they know it has to be real in their hearts, but some last bit of their lives on Earth cling to them, warning them that it can't be true. It's too perfect, too unreal. That it must be a trick, a dream. They don't WANT to believe it, because if they do and it isn't real? The disappointment could destroy them."

Emily accepted the lesson with humility and grace. "And souls instinctively know if someone is Earthborn or Heavenborn. So, it is easier for you or Peter to soothe their worries just by your presence."

"Aren't you a clever f*cking pile of Fluff?" Adam praised with a grin. "Come on, let's go give them a watch."

"What?" Emily said as Adam got up and glided down to the Pearly Gate. At a loss, Emily flew after him.

"Yo, Petey!" Adam called out as he landed next to the saint.

"Welcome to- Adam?!" Peter said in surprise before turning to the newly saved soul. "Sorry about that. Welcome to Heaven," he said, watching as the souls filed in without need of a greeting. "Adam, haven't seen you up here in a while."

"Yeah, how is it going, First Pope?" Adam asked with a smirk, towering over the smaller soul as he did most of his relatively modern descendants.

While surprised by the visit, Peter still smiled. "As pleasant as always. Why, did you want to take over for old time's sake?"

"Nah, just showing the Sera-kid some of the ropes," Adam answered, raising his wing to reveal Emily, having landed behind his impressive wing span.

She smiled bashfully. "Hello, Saint Peter!" she greeted happily.

"Don't mind us, just treat the kid like a little apprentice for now," Adam answered lazily as he leaned against the wall next to the Pearly Gates.

"Oh? Does Old Adam need a nap?" Peter asked with a playful smile.

"I f*cking toiled for nine hundred years and more, dammit. I sleep whenever I f*cking please," Adam shot back.

Emily winced at the rather aggressive response, but Peter just chuckled. "Don't mind him. Adam might be a bit of a crouch and is the Patron Saint of Profanity, but he wouldn't hurt a soul in heaven."

"Oh, I know he wouldn't," Emily assured, glancing back to the large angel, Adam's mask devoid of a face as he took a standing nap with his arms crossed. "Has he always been like this, Saint Peter?"

"He's gotten a bit more free with his cursing, but he's been like this for the nineteen hundred years of my existence," Peter answered with a smile. "Oh. I'd talk more, but it looks like we have some souls that need help."

Emily watched in rapid attention as she saw Peter greet a handful of souls, each waiting their turn. An old man, happy and content while looking forward to seeing her. A young mother, her life cut short, saddened to leave her family behind. A man who lost his leg in life and couldn't believe it was back. An atheist Peter had to reassure that lack of religion was no issue for Heaven and needed no apology. Smiles and cries, tears of sorrow and joy, regrets and even laughter! Peter treated each one as a long-lost friend, all too eager to be a shoulder to lean on and tell their stories.

"Well, it looks like that's all the souls for now," Peter said as a group of souls past through the gates. "So, now that we have a moment. Emily? How many ribs did it take you to bribe our Esteemed Ancestor to get off his lawn chair?"

Adam snorted as he leaned off the wall, flipping the grinning saint off. "Funny. How's the smell of feet, Simon?"

Emily gasped. "Adam! You shouldn't say that!"

"Huh? Why?" Adam asked with a raised eyebrow.

Emily was about to answer but noticed even Peter seemed confused. "Because you're...mocking how he died...upside down? Aren't you?"

Peter blinked before chuckling. "Oh no, no, nothing like that, your grace!"

"Petey over here is considered the Patron f*cking Saint of Foot Problems and Shoemakers," Adam explained with a snicker.

"Oh...why?" Emily asked with a furrowed brow.

Peter shrugged. "I haven't the slightest idea. I guess they just blew that "washing feet" thing way out of proportion. So, how many ribs?"

"Umm, none? He actually offered to help teach me," Emily answered bashfully.

"He did?" Peter asked in surprise, looking up at Adam now. "You did?"

"Yep, I did," Adam answered, looking down at him with a raised eyebrow. "Surprised?"

"Sorry, it's just...usually you aren't that active with the running of Heaven anymore," Peter said in interest before his eyes twinkled. "Wait, did having a young Seraphim in need of help trigger Old Adam's grandfatherly instincts?"

"Grandfatherly...?" Emily repeated in surprise.

Adam rolled his eyes. "I want to make sure this one doesn't end up like Sera with a rod where Heaven doesn't shine. So I'm helping the Fluffcake out, that's f*cking it."

"Fluffcake," Peter repeated with a wide smile. "That. Is. Precious. I love it! Please, keep doing this."

"I can and will stuff that book up your ass and out your throat, Footboy," Adam warned with a flat tone.

"Adam? Saint Peter?" Emily spoke up with a small voice. "More souls are coming."

Both men looked out across the heavenly bridge. There, in the distance, was a thick horde of souls approaching them. Men and women, young and elderly, all Middle Eastern in appearance.

"Are there... supposed to be so many of them like this?" Emily asked in concern. "And so many children. Whole families. Was there...was there a plague? A disaster?"

"Emily, come on, we need to go," Adam said with a frown. "Simon is going to be very busy in a moment."

"H-huh? Oh, alright. Thank you for the time, Saint Peter," Emily answered as she took to the sky with Adam.

"It was nice to see you, Emily!" Peter called after with a wave before turning solemnly to the front.

Something clawed at her heart though as she turned around, hovering in midair to stare at the mass of souls. There had to be hundreds, maybe thousands of them. She clutched her hands to her chest in sorrow.

She didn't need to look to know that Adam was hovering behind her. "What happened to them?"

Adam didn't answer for a moment, debating answering at all. "Are you sure you want to know?"

"Emily turned to look up at him with soulful eyes. "Yes. Please, Adam?"

Adam looked off to the side, into the abyss of clouds outside of heaven. "They tried to break away and form their own country. The country they were already a part of decided to make an example out of the region. Entire families and villages bombed away."

Emily gasped, hand to her mouth. "W-why would they...how could they..." she shuddered. "I knew humans do terrible things to each other sometimes. I knew...I knew innocents get caught between others fighting, but this...!?"

Adam hummed as he looked away from whatever he saw, looking at Emily again. "I didn't think you'd have to see something like this when we came down here."

"Should...Maybe we should stay and help?" Emily asked softly, floating back to the gate slowly. "There are so many of them and-"

Adam placed a hand on her shoulder. "You can't help them. Not yet. Saying the wrong sh*t is sometimes worse than saying nothing at all. Simon can handle it fine, and he has help if he needs it."

"I...I think I...I think I need to be alone," Emily said softly before flying off suddenly.

Adam watched as she left. He glanced back out to the clouds and shook his head. His gaze went down to Earth, and his golden sun eyes looked up a river.

A river filled with bodies, filled to the mouth.

"f*cking Ararat."

Extermination Day, 1930

"Hease oo Lone?"

Lute tilted her head as she read the words painted onto a cloth draped over Razzle's back, the beast angled for them all to see. The message was obvious, but it was equally obvious that someone had been too generous with the paint and the letters had begun to run and smear.

"Hi, Adam! Hi, umm, Miss Lute? Many Miss Exorcists?" Charlie greeted with a wave.

"Princess Hellspawn," Lute greeted, cold and neutral.

Charlie wasn't sure what was harsher. Lute's frosty greeting, or the lack of one from the other angel.

"Sup, Hellflake," Adam greeted idly. "What's with the art display?"

"W-well, I just remembered that, with everything going on, I kind of didn't always ask you all to go home and, umm, not have an Extermination Day?" Charlie answered sheepishly. "I know you're not going to stop yet, but I thought I should keep asking."

She could feel the stares of the hundreds of angels piercing into her. Some judging, some utterly indifferent.

"Well, I guess we better head off, Hellflake, "Adam said, waving over his shoulder to the angels. "Have fun, Ladies, I'll catch up later."

They all split off without a word, Adam starting them on their path.

Charlie was so deep in thought on the attitude of the angels, that she didn't realize how quiet the flight was until Razzle neighed at her. She blinked, realizing Adam hadn't said a word, hadn't even offered to let her ride on his back yet.

"Adam? Is something wrong?" Charlie called out, getting no response. "Adam?!"

"Hmm? What'd you say, Hellflake?" Adam called back. "Want this year's ride-along?"

"No. Well, yes, but...," Charlie frowned in concern, practically a pout. A selfless pout but still. "You seem like something is bothering you."

"Nothing you can help with, kid," Adam assured flatly.

"Probably not. But I can listen, and that can help a bit, right?" Charlie offered softly.

"Why are you so worried about me?" Adam asked idly. "Shouldn't you be happy? Maybe I'll get depressed enough to not bother with the Exterminations?"

"I don't want that!" Charlie answered quickly. "I know everyone has bad days, but-"

"Charlie, I'm from f*cking Heaven. We don't HAVE bad days," Adam pointed out with an eye roll.

"... Then why are you upset?" Charlie asked.

Adam glanced to the side as something exploded down below. "Jump on my back before you get hit out of the air."

Charlie obeyed, Razzle joining her soon after in his smaller form.

Adam took a breath as Charlie settled in. "So, I f*cking talked to Emi-phim the Fluffcake. We hit it off as a teacher-student thing, but I kind of f*cked up a while ago."

"Oh no, did Emily get hurt?" Charlie asked in alarm.

"Not physically, no," Adam answered. "I took her to see Simon."

"...Who?" Charlie asked with uncomprehending eyes.

"Saint Peter? f*cker at the Pearly Gate?" Adam tried again.

"His name is Simon?" Charlie asked in bewilderment

"Yeah, Simon Peter, otherwise known as the first f*cking Pope," Adam elaborated. "Anyway, I took her up to see him greeting souls that just arrived. You know, see how earthborn souls are before they adjust to being in Heaven and how having some friendly human mug to greet them helps."

"Okay, that sounds...like something good for an angel to understand?" Charlie answered carefully, making sure to word it best. "But how did that go bad?"

Adam sighed and relayed the story as concisely as he could, with plenty of expletives.

"Oh. I think I know that day," Charlie said softly. "There were a lot more souls coming in months ago, but only for a few minutes."

"Upstairs or down here, souls dying in one event tend to show up together, even if they died a day apart," Adam mused.

"But is Emily okay though?" Charlie prompted.

Adam sighed. "I think I shot her confidence in the f*cking foot. I don't know. Sera thinks I was showing her that flood of souls as some kind of f*cked up lesson, so she doesn't many me near her right now."

"...Like how Daddy didn't want us to meet anymore at first?" Charlie asked with a raised eyebrow.

Adam paused for a long, long moment. "You are a horrible influence sometimes, you know that?"

"I am?" Charlie asked in surprise.

"SIR, LOOK OUT!"

Adam made a sharp turn to the left to avoid being hit by something. "Flake, hold on tight or get the f*ck off with Raz!" he warned as he came into an upright position. He looked up and saw Lute trying to stab a particularly agile demon. It had a human torso, but the head was a bird and the wings were arms. It was also devoid of anything below the waste, except some tentacle-looking bits.

"Hold still you damn-!" the exorcist growled out in frustration.

Charlie pulled herself up with Razzle's help to be holding on over Adam's shoulder. She immediately regretted this decision, seeing the sinner lose a wing and go tumbling down to the ground below. She trembled and pulled herself back down so she didn't have to see Lute zooming down to finish the job with a final strike.

"Charlie."

Her shaking stopped at Adam's strong voice. Not soft. Not hard. Just strong.

"You still want to try and change our minds, right?"

She didn't speak, she just nodded against his shoulder blade.

Adam suddenly let out a whistle, drawing the exorcist's attention to come up to him. "Lute, get your ass up here!"

"Sir!" she greeted, flying up to him at full speed. "I'm sorry. I thought it was a centaur type, but it turned out to be two-."

Lute stopped as she saw the Princess of Hell poke her head over Adam's shoulder. "I thought it was too early for you to be done with her," Lute said neutrally.

"Lute, take your mask off," he instructed simply.

Lute raised an eyebrow, but obeyed the instruction nonetheless, revealing her golden eyes and white hair.

"Hellflake, this is Lute, my second in command," Adam introduced. "Lute, this is the Hellflake."

"Hello," Charlie greeted, her smile wide even if her voice was less energetic. "It's nice to meet you."

"Princess," Lute returned coldly with her arms crossed. "Are you going to ask me to stop killing sinners and go home?"

"No, I already know you wouldn't," Charlie said with a frown. "But...you would if Adam told you too, right?"

"Yes," Lute answered instantly, without even giving it a thought. "You believe it would be easier to convince him than all of us?"

"No. Yes. Maybe?" Charlie answered uncertainly. "I know you don't like me, but I just...want to understand."

Lute glanced at Adam, who made no reaction or gesture. "Understand what, exactly?"

"Why you all do this every year. Why this can't...just stop," Charlie said with a frown. "You think you're protecting everyone in Heaven by doing this, don't you?"

Lute rose a single sharp brow at the question. "Think?"

Charlie winced. That was somehow more brutal than any other answer.

"Let me ask you, Princess? Have you ever considered what happens if we stop?" Lute asked pointedly.

"What do you mean?" Charlie asked with interest.

"We stop. The souls keep pouring in. What happens?" Lute prompted.

"I...don't know? We get more overpopulated?" Charlie asked uncertainly.

Lute shook her head. "Just like your parents."

Adam shifted. He didn't say a word, he just seemed to hold himself a bit taller. It was all that was needed to put their attention on him, Lute seeing the disapproving look displayed on his mask.

"Apologize, Sir, if I overstepped," Lute said with a dip of the head.

"It's fine, Lute. Carry on with the purge," Adam dismissed.

Lute nodded, redonning her mask and taking off.

"Are you...mad at her? For what she said?" Charlie asked.

"No. I don't agree with the f*ck she said about you, but I can't really be mad at her," Adam said with some strange fondness.

Charlie wasn't sure what to make of that and was more troubled by something else as Adam resumed their flight. "You say I'm nothing like my parents like that's a good thing. She says I am like them as if it's the worst insult she can give."

"It is," Adam answered bluntly. "Comparing you to the Big Ls is literally the worst slander a soul in Heaven can give."

"They're still my parents," Charlie reminded with a frown.

"And you have my sympathies," Adam countered without pause.

"Adam!" Charlie said with a bit of frustration.

"Them being your parents doesn't change who they are," Adam reminded bluntly. "And before you defend them, do you even know who they are? Really"

Charlie paused with a frown "I only know what they tell me. And what you tell me. Neither of you tell me very much."

Adam took a breath before he said something horrible. "Kid? I hate your parents, but I'm not petty enough to casually destroy your precious image of them just to spite them. You don't deserve the bullsh*t that comes with being born into your family."

Charlie fell silent at that.

"Let me guess, they gave you a laundry list of reasons why not to listen to me, how horrible I always was, and all that," Adam said with an eye roll.

"...Mommy told me you named a flower after her. The Lily," Charlie said carefully.

"Yeah, that was on my list of things I wish I had renamed before sh*t went south," Adam said darkly as they approached the Devil's Manor and Charlie's balcony.

Charlie sighed as she slid down his robes. "That's a little much, isn't it? I know you hate them, I won't argue that, but do you really need to make it like they never existed?"

Adam paused before turning to look down at her. "Hellflake? All of creation would be a better place if they never existed," he answered bluntly, a strange softness to his voice. "You're the only good thing that came out of them since Eden."

Charlie blinked at the strange compliment. Every praise from Adam always seemed to come as an insult to her parents. She didn't like that, but it was still...something.

Adam gave a small huff. "We got so sidetracked with my sh*t, never really got a chance to let you ask or tell me much."

Charlie glanced out to Pentagram City, currently being attacked by angels. "I won't ask you not to...do what you do, but could you stay a little longer Adam?" she requested sincerely.

"As long as your parents don't show up," Adam agreed with a shrug.

"Why do humans believe in gods? I mean, there is no such thing as God, right?" Charlie asked curiously.

Adam took a breath. "Okay, wow, you brought out the heavy stuff. The answer is complicated, but the simple ass answer is; No, technically, God isn't real. Big G or little g. At the same time, every religion and myth is probably true in a way."

Charlie blinked. "What? But how does that work?"

"It's a long, horrible, sh*tty story. But the shortass version is that mortals can't fully comprehend angels or demons anymore. Or even visions of them. So they interpret them however they can," Adam explained.

"I don't think I understand?" Charlie admitted with a frown.

Adam thought for a moment. "Okay, here's an example. I'm Odin."

"...What?" Charlie blinked. "Isn't that supposed to be the leader of the Norse Gods?"

"Right, he also has a magic spear," Adam summoned his own into existence to make a point. "And has an army of winged battle babes that he takes on a yearly hunt."

Charlie's eyes widen for a moment before squinting. "Wait, but Odin only has one eye?"

"And that is where humans muddle the details because they get these visions like dreams," Adam answered, dispelling his spear. "They saw a vision of me and the girls. They can feel in the vision that I am ancient as f*ck so they make me an old man. But the detail that the Exorcists' helmets all have a crossed-out eye got blurred and became the idea of the leader being one-eyed. Hence, Odin."

Charlie was utterly fascinated by this point. "So...none of the myths and legends are really right, but they're not exactly wrong either?"

"Oh no, some of them are wrong as f*ck! But those are the ones humans just made sh*t up on their own," Adam corrected with a smirk.

"But, there are a lot of gods? They can't all be you and the exorcists," Charlie realized.

"Nah, those are the other angels too. And demons," Adam answered with a frown. "We have a whole group of angels tasked with figuring out the damn connection between human myths and sh*t that actually happened."

"That sounds...kind of fun. Like a puzzle or a riddle," Charlie said with a small smile.

Adam didn't say anything for or against that, waiting patiently.

"...Adam? Do you...think I can meet Emily one day?" Charlie asked cautiously.

"Sure," Adam answered casually to her surprise. "What, you're both immortal. In a thousand years, you'll probably meet her at least once."

"I guess that makes sense," Charlie agreed thoughtfully. "But...Mommy and Daddy said they haven't spoken to you since Eden, until...well, me."

"Yeah, that was intentional. The longer I'm in the same room with either of them, the more likely the treaty gets broken," Adam answered flatly.

It went without stating that Adam had forced himself to be almost civil around the Devil the past few years, if only for Charlie's sake.

"See you around, Hellflake," Adam said, unfolding his wings.

"Wait, one last thing?" Charlie said quickly. "...why are the Exorcists female?"

"Hm?" Adam looked at her curiously.

"Well, it's just...I kind of wondered. Is there a reason? Mommy thinks you...like bossing women around," Charlie answered carefully.

"Snake-f*cking c*nt of a whor*," Adam cursed under his breath. "First f*cking off, your mother LOVES being in charge, so I don't know where the f*ck she gets off saying sh*t like that. Second? Yeah, there is a f*cking reason. Several.."

"Like?" Charlie repeated with a furrowed brow.

Adam rolled his head back and forth. "Kiddo, we weren't always the only angels raiding hell."

Charlie blinked at that.

"I guess history isn't a big f*cking focus down here. Figures," Adam muttered. "See you around, Hellflake."

Charlie watched him leave with a confused expression. In her hundred and some years of life in Hell, she had never really thought much about the deeper history of the past ten thousand years. Sure, she knew a few things. Like the revolt the Sinner Crusaders tried to lead against her parents, Dracula's attempt to unite Pentagram City against the Exorcists, and even some attempts by the Romans to form an Overlord Republic to instill order in the city.

But that was all relatively new history. Anything less than three thousand years ago was a relatively modern history for Hell. The other seven thousand? Almost no sinner remained that knew of that history, and her pants had never been eager to touch the topic. Did the family library even have books on what happened?

The extermination was a relatively normal one for Adam and the Exorcists. No overlords, just thousands upon thousands of sinners slain.

"Lute."

She stopped in midflight, looking back at her leader as the others continued home. "Sir?"

"You didn't overstep, for the record. I'm not going to ask you to pretend to be nice to the Hellflake on my account," Adam said simply.

Lute studied him for a moment. "You don't want to give her false hope."

"I don't believe she'll ever find a reason for us to stop," Adam admitted flatly. "But I do f*cking believe she really wants to try."

"Is it not more cruel to let her believe she can, Sir?" Lute asked with a frown.

"If a child's dream must die, it should die gently, Lute," Adam said with a sage tone.

Lute stiffened before bowing her head deeply to him. "Of course, Sir."

"Danger-tit*, unless you want to suck me off, raise your damn head."

One Day After Extermination Day, 1930

Adam searched thoroughly but quietly for Emily. She wasn't with Sera, he already knew that. Peter hadn't seen her since that day. She wasn't in her own room.

Eventually, he found her out by the waters outside Heaven's city, the same shore he had started teaching her own.

He landed and watched as her wings were out, curled forward. A ball of holly light formed at her wing tips, a pleasing glow of gold and white.

If Adam listened carefully, he could hear a soft tune of comfort in the air.

And then it popped.

Emily didn't get angry. If anything, she was disappointed in herself before trying again.

"You know that's pretty f*cking hard to do," Adam said suddenly before she could start properly.

"Wha- Adam?!" Emily greeted in surprise, smiling before looking away. "I'm sorry. You must think I'm a failure."

"The hell you get that impression?" Adam asked with a frown. "Did Sera tell you that?"

"No. Though, she said I probably shouldn't bother you anymore," Emily said with a sigh.

"Then where is all this f*cking shame practically bleeding out of you coming from?" Adam asked with a frown.

"I wanted your help, to teach me how to aid souls settle into heaven. But the moment I saw others in need, I fled and allowed sorrow to hold me back," Emily said softly.

"Emily, you're a f*cking kid. Hundred years or not. You're allowed to not know how to handle this sh*t yet," Adam said with an eye roll.

"But then...why have you been avoiding me?" Emily asked curiously. "I thought I was...a disappointment."

Adam stared for a long moment, several memories echoing in his mind. "I hate kids like you."

"Huh?" Emily said in surprise.

"Not really, dammit. But kids like you are so f*cking responsible and considerate, you make most adults look incompetent in comparison," Adam said with a head shake. "Fluffcake? I was avoiding you because I thought you were still...trying to deal with what you saw. And because Sera was pissed I let you see that."

"I told her it wasn't your fault," Emily said with a frown. "I wouldn't lie to her."

Adam shrugged. "Come on, let me give you some help with that trick of yours."

Emily smiled eagerly at his offer.

Chapter 6

Chapter Text

Extermination Day, 1931

"You made us cookies?"

It was Lute who asked the question, more out of disbelief than anything.

Charlie nodded from the back of Dazzle, holding up a basket filled with the baked goods and keeping it away from Razzle.

"Yeah! I spent all day yesterday getting them right! I had to throw away the first ones that burned, but..." Charlie trailed off as she noticed the stares Adam and the Exorcists were giving the baked goods.

It was less disgust and more outright suspicion, as if the treats were hazardous in some way.

"Charlie," Adam said slowly. "We can't eat those."

"Huh?" Charlie looked up in surprise. Especially since he used her name and not Hellflake or any other nickname. "Why? Can Angels not eat stuff that comes from Hell?"

"Oh no, we can. I don't f*cking advise it most of the time, but we can," Adam answered honestly before frowning. "But I literally refuse to eat ANYTHING that your parents could have potentially touched."

"Oh...Oh," Charlie said in understanding, looking down in disappointment. "I'm sorry. I...probably should have thought about that."

Razzle stopped trying to get at the cookies, cooing in soft confusion as he rubbed his snout comfortingly against Charlie's back.

Adam was about to speak when someone beat him to the punch.

"May I ask, why you bothered, Princess?" Lute asked in a less-than-cold tone.

"Huh?" Charlie looked up in surprise.

"Were you going to delay us all with treats? I doubt you thought we would be bribed off so easily," Lute explained with her arms crossed.

"I didn't really think about that. I just wanted to be nice. Or Kind? Adam said they're not always the same thing," Charlie answered, not noticing how every angel was giving her their full attention.

"No, they're not," Lute agreed. "And why would you, Princess of Hell, be kind to us?"

"I...can't say there was no reason," Charlie admitted uncomfortably. "I just want to show I'm not...evil."

Charlie couldn't read those stares behind their masks, but none of them made any word or motion against the notion of her being evil.

With a sad look on her face, Charlie was so distracted that the basket of cookies slipped slowly from her fingers.

She blinked Adam took it from her. "Ladies," he said with a nod.

As one they flew off, scattering out to lay siege to Hell once more.

Adam picked up one of the cookies and brought it to his face, smelling it. "Too bad, these smelled pretty damn good too."

"Do you...do you think I poisoned them or something?" Charlies asked softly.

"No, Hellflake. But I can just f*cking see your parents slipping something in when you weren't looking," Adam explained with a frown to himself

"It's not like I can bake somewhere else," Charlie answered dejectedly. "And I know, you're not trying to be mean. I don't even think the others were this time. I just...really want to talk to you all. To understand them."

She froze as Adam placed a hand on her head.

The same hand that slaughtered thousands, crushed skulls, tore limbs apart, and vaporized entire souls.

It was gentle on her head, as light as a cat's step.

"I believe you," Adam assured. "And the girls believe that damn much about you."

"Do you...do you think I'm going to become evil one day like they think I will?" Charlie asked in a small voice.

Adam didn't answer for a moment. "Hellflake, you live in Hell. Your parents are the queen and king of it."

"But you said I'm nothing like them? So what does that have to do with it?" Charlie asked with a frown.

"Everything, really," Adam answered. "Hellflake, I'm f*cking glad you're nothing like your parents. At least nothing in the ways that I give a damn about. But who you want to be and who you end up as? Trust me, that sh*t hardly ever turns out how you want."

Charlie looked down in disappointment.

"Come on, let's get you home," Adam said, still carrying the cookies in hand.

Charlie followed on Dazzle, Razzle holding to not be left behind as they ascended higher into the air.

"Well, this should be high enough for those f*cks not to jump us without noticing," Adam mused, glancing up at the roof of pride.

Charlie did too. "I sometimes forget there is a ceiling up here," she said idly. "Adam? Have you-?"

"Yes."

"Huh? I did finish?" Charlie said in surprise.

"You were about to ask if I f*cking ever knew kids as nice as you that turned out evil? Yeah, kid. I have seen literally everything. Good kids grow up to become saints or monsters, and bad kids grow up to be kind or tyrants. I have seen them start at every end of the spectrum and end up with every possible outcome. It's why I don't give a sh*t about nurture, nature, circ*mstances, or any of that sh*t. You end up in Heaven or Hell for the choices you make with the cards you're dealt."

"So...you don't think I'll be good or evil," Charlie realized in surprise, a smile coming to her face again. "You just want to wait and see for yourself?"

"Yep. Expectations are for suckers. That's how we all ended up in this sh*t. We all had expectations and they were wrong as f*ck," Adam mused bitterly.

"You're...talking about Eden," Charlie realized.

"Among other things, yeah, Hellflake," Adam said with a sigh. "Look, just...change the topic a bit. I'm sure you have some stuff you want to talk about?"

"Well...you said you're Odin, right?" Charlie started, a bit awkward.

"Mostly, yeah," Adam agreed with a shrug.

"Well, who else were the other gods?" Charlie asked.

"Not always straightforward, Hellflake. Sometimes two or more different angels get confused as being the same f*cker, other times an angel is mistaken as more than one god," Adam warned. "But...Heimdall is Gabriel."

"Gabriel, one of the Archangels?" Charlie realized with wide eyes.

"Yeah. Fun bitch that one. Believe it or not, but blowj*bs were her f*cking idea and one of her best!" Adam said with a grin.

Charlie blanched at that. "Why...why would an angel invent that...?"

"I mean, the whole idea beyond fellati* and cunniling*s was to selflessly pleasure each other at times. Suppose to be a gift between spouses, something to do when you weren't trying for a kid," Adam explained. "Kind of bummed we never got boobgasms to be a nature thing. Would have made titjobs even better as a natural thing."

"Can we change the topic, please?" Charlie requested pleadingly.

"Sorry, sorry. I don't know why humans got so prudish about sex. I get the who naked thing, obviously, but we never had an issue talking about sex," Adam mused. "But yeah, Gabs was Heimdall. Obviously when she was in war gear, really hid her figure a lot. She didn't INVENT the rainbow, but she did make the finished design."

"Right, so...who is Thor?" Charlie asked curiously.

"f*ck! Hahaha! I forgot about that sh*t!" Adam said with a snicker. "Okay, This? Thor is actually two people. One was a Gibborim, but the other? The other is why Archangels shouldn't drink."

Charlie tilted her head. "Angels can get drunk? There is alcohol in Heaven?"

"Umm, duh? Humans HAD to drink alcohol all the time at one point, the sh*t was safer than water," Adam pointed out.

"It was?" Charlie asked in surprise.

"Yeah, most humans alive now don't remember that, spoiled on this neat water treatment sh*t they got going now," Adam explained. "Anyways, moving our asses back to your question? Thor is what happens when Michael gets drunk."

"Michael? The Michael?" Charlie asked in shock. "Why would he get THAT drunk?"

"We experimented with how to make different heavenly booze, and we may have f*cked up into success by inventing something WAY too strong. And Michael was kind of our volunteer to test it. He's a Patron of Warriors, so he wanted to know why they liked it so much," he explained with a smile. "f*ck, it was great to see that prick finally loosen up. He hated us the next day, punted my ass down to somewhere in India the next time we sparred, but we all laughed about it the night after. Damn was that a good century."

Charlie tilted her head. "You sound like you're good friends with them."

"Well, yeah? They were kind of my parents, kind of my siblings? We didn't really need a word for it beyond family," Adam answered idly.

Charlie blinked. The angels were like family to Adam. Did that include her father?

"And look at that, we're here," Adam said as he flew down. But not to Charlie's balcony.

"Umm, Adam? You're going the wrong way?" Charlie informed in confusion.

"No, no I am not," Adam said with a playful tone.

Elsewhere, Lucifer sighed as he sat at his workbench. He wanted to say he was having a creative block, but really he was just distracted. E-Day was never something he paid much mind to, but now?

Now he had to think about Charlie being out there in all that chaos with Adam protecting her. Adam, who despite everything about the First Man, his daughter seemed to delight in her conversations with him. Even though several of them had left her sad or worried.

And often left her asking questions that he and Lilith weren't expecting to answer for a few more decades. Or questions they just weren't sure how to answer in ways she'd understand. Some things only made sense when experienced rather than told or shown.

How did he explain the nature of Eden, a place where Uncertainties were tested and made Certain? How did he get across the wonders he had created? How did he explain there was a time when they had to decide if Light chased away Darkness or Darkness chased away Light? How did tell her, in all seriousness, the long debate on whether Humans should be more akin to Beasts, Stones, or Mushrooms?

And how did Adam answer questions like this so effortlessly? Charlie sprung random questions on the "First Dick" every year, and he answered them on the fly in such a short time. Lucifer, for all his creativity, was at a loss. He could talk out his ass if he needed to, but not to his daughter! Especially when it meant being outshone by ADAM of all people, who hadn't told a lie yet, as far as Charlie had told them.

Well, he told her some very strong opinions. He still stood by the first draft of the platypus! Then they had to take away the wings, the second mouth, and even the original tail ending! At least Lilith convinced Adam and the other angels to keep the bill, it would have been utterly ruined without the bill!

He always loved billed birds. The beaked ones always were too annoying to him, especially when they started pecking at something. He swore someone invented the woodpecker just to annoy him.

There was a tap on his window.

He nearly fell over backward in surprise, spinning around. He looked over but couldn't see anything from where he sat.

Another knock came, prompting him to get to his feet. "Okay, this better not be a sinner wanting to hide in here," he said, more confused than annoyed for the moment. No one had been that stupid in a long time, but maybe it was overdue.

Looking through the window, he saw nothing. And yet, there was another knock. His annoyance grew, and he opened the double window, looking around and down. "Okay, I hope you enjoyed the joke because-"

He stopped with wide eyes as Charlie was suddenly lowered down right in front of his face. "Hi, Daddy!" she greeted with a smile.

Lucifer didn't have time to respond as Charlie flew at him. Or rather, she was flung at him, her arms wrapping around him in a tight hug as he went tumbling down with her.

"Charlie? You're here. Wait," Lucifer glared, pointing a free hand at the window. "Did you just throw my daughter at me like a baseball!?"

Adam smirked as he stood in the window frame, Razzle and Dazzle on either shoulder. "Sorry, but the Hellflake had a special delivery for one Mr. Morningsh*t."

Lucifer stared as Adam held up the basket of cookies. It was a disturbing image in Lucifer's head for some reason, he just wasn't sure why. "Are those poisoned?"

"Daddy! I made them!" Charlie informed with a pout. "I wanted to make them for Adam and the other angels, but they said they couldn't because..."

"Because of...wait, really?" Lucifer deadpanned. "You think I'd poison my own daughter's cookies!?"

Adam's silence was deafening and damning.

"Hump! I'm offended! And how do I know you didn't mess with them?" Lucifer asked as he stood up, holding Charlie.

"Because you have a witness," Adam said, pointing to Charlie. "I f*cking can't know SOMEONE didn't sneak sh*t into the goods when Hellflake wasn't looking. Besides, this is a win-win for me."

Lucifer opened his mouth and then paused. "Okay, how?"

Adam grinned. "Simple. This sh*t is poisoned? You got to deal with it. It's not? Hellflake gets to enjoy her treats with someone who'll appreciate them," Adam said, nodding to Charlie. "Your kid put a lot of work into it, so just take the sh*t and swallow it."

"I wished you had worded that better," Lucifer said with a sigh, noticing Charlie smile at Adam's praise. Without another thought, he snatched the basket from Adam's hand. "But thank you I'm sure you're first thought was to vaporize them."

Adam grunted. "Don't get the wrong idea. The fact this'll probably make you happy has my damn skin crawling in revulsion. But I'll stomach it if it means Hellflake doesn't feel like she wasted her time when she tried her best."

Charlie beamed and the sight of it made Lucifer smile a bit as well.

"Well, that's about all of you I can tolerate for the year," Adam said, glancing at the goat-dragons on his shoulders. "Raz, Daz? Make sure the Hellflake gets to bed before she sugar crashes."

They both baa'd in agreement as they flew over to Charlie.

"Why do they listen to you? I made those adorable guys!" Lucifer asked. Charlie was one thing, but Razzle and Dazzle?

"Bitch, please, I tamed worse sh*t when I was alive," Adam retorted with derision as he turned to the window. "Okay, the A-man is out of here!"

Lucifer was just a bit annoyed by the large gust of wind that went through his workshop as Adam left. Still, he smiled as he looked at his little girl. "So, cookies?"

"Do you think Mommy would like some?" Charlie asked, her smile a bit weaker, but happy nonetheless.

"I'm sure she'd love that," Lucifer assured as he turned with Charlie and the cookies to find his wife.

There was some bitter irony about this, he knew, having a family moment because Adam of all people had a good idea of how to soothe Charlie's tears.

Maybe that was what bothered Lucifer the most in all this. Moment's like these gave Adam's "sh*t father" comments more weight.

And they were already heavy enough on Luceifer's mind.

Extermination Day, 1932

"You...have a lead on an Overlord?" Charlie asked with a furrowed brow. "How? You all just got here?"

There were several chuckles and smirks from the exorcists about that. Even Adam was smirking. "I have my ways, Hellflake. But we need to go, like right now. Sorry to jump ship, but can you call up your dad to portal you home?"

Charlie had a look on her face like she was thinking.

Adam deadpanned. "Hellflake, no. You can't f*cking come with us. This is a big-time Overlord, who will probably bathe in your blood if she gets a hold of you."

Charlie raised her hands from Dazzle's back. "N-no, I'm not stupid! B-but could I just wait for you? At the Embassy, maybe?"

Adam hummed, displeased but obviously unwilling to burst her hopes.

"Sir," Lute spoke up. "I can escort her there with a few others."

Adam sighed, long and suffering. "The Big Ls will probably throw a fit, but Fine. Lute, you stay with her until I get back, and try not to make her cry."

"Sir," Lute said, looking to the others. "You four with me."

"Okay, Ladies? Rest o you go wreck sh*t while me and the squad go hunt for a blood bitch," Adam ordered, six exorcists remaining behind with him before they flew off.

"By Adam," Charlie called after weakly.

"Come along, Princess," Lute instructed sternly, already heading in the direction of the embassy.

Charlie obeyed, keeping her head down as they flew. It was different than being with Adam. She knew the five exorcists wouldn't hurt her, but she felt calm and safe around Adam most of the time. Right now, she just felt...

Tolerated. Begrudgingly.

"So...what are your names?" Charlie tried with a small, forced smile. "I already know Miss Lute."

The four unnamed angels shared looks, but none were willing to answer her.

They reached the embassy in short order, being much closer than the Devil's Manor. The group landed, and Lute turned to the others. "You four head off, I'll watch the Hellspawn."

"Ma'am," one of them saluted. Would you like me to take your place? I'm sure Sir would appreciate having you there for the Overlord hunt."

Lute's face didn't react, but it was obvious by her eyes that she was tempted. "And I appreciate the offer, Sister, but the order was for me to watch her. Now, go."

"Ma'am!" they said before taking off.

"That was...nice of her," Charlie mused carefully. "Is she really your sister or is it just because you fight together?"

"Fight together," Lute answered as she led Charlie into the embassy.

The Hell Princess climbed off Dazzle's back and raced to keep up with the exorcist, the goat-dragon shrinking down to follow at Charlie's side. "Huh. This place is nice, but...kind of creepy. No one is here."

"There rarely needs to be," Lute answered as she led her to a meeting room. "Princess, I am not Adam. I have no desire to entertain your questions."

Charlie sulked a bit at that. "But I really want to know more about you."

"I'm the second-in-command of the exorcist. I relish in slaughtering the sinners of Hell and I would be all too happy to extend the same treatment to the Hellborn if the treaty didn't forbid it," Lute said bluntly.

Charlie winced but was undeterred. "I-I know that. But what about the rest?"

Lute didn't respond, just raising an eyebrow.

"Y-you only do that once a year. What do you do the rest of the time in Heaven?" she asked curiously.

"Whatever Sir needs me to," Lute answered. She crossed her leg over, laying her spear across her lap, and channeled some holy energy into her fingertips. She then proceeded to casually use that as a whetstone, to sharpen the spear tip. "What does a Princess of Hell do?"

"...Not much," Charlie answered softly. "I play with Razzle, Dazzle, and Keekee. Practice my magic and other stuff. Spend time with Mom and Dad. Try to...ask questions they can answer without making them sad."

Lute hummed.

"I meet other Hellborns sometimes. I'm penpals with some, but I don't know any of them very well. Mommy and Daddy teach me new things every now and again. Mostly Mommy, but Daddy tries. We have family time a lot," Charlie said with a small smile. "Lute? I know you...hate me for existing-"

"I'm glad you exist, Hellspawn," Lute answered instantly, without inflection.

Charlie's mouth stopped working for a moment. "You...you're not just saying that because you like to see me sad or hope you can...hurt me one day, right...?"

"No, I mean it genuinely," Lute answered, testing the tip of her spear. "Years ago, I would have simply said you're the foul product of a union that should have never existed. And you still are."

Charlie furrowed her brow. "I don't understand. Then why...?"

"Time with you makes him happy."

Charlie starred.

"Sir...Lord Adam, he enjoys your visits. That alone is reason enough for me to be glad you exist, origins regardless," Lute mused, looking at Charlie again.

"You...you really care about him, don't you?" Charlie asked with a small smile before frowning. "Lute, are you...?"

"I am whatever he needs me to be," Lute answered vaguely, but solemnly.

Charlie let that hang in the air, not sure what to make of that admission. "So...you don't want me hurt, because it would make Adam sad?"

"Is genuinely caring for another that foreign to you?" Lute asked with an eye roll.

"No! Of course not! I care about all the Sinners in Hell! That's why I keep asking you all to go home," Charlie said firmly.

"Do you really care about them? Or do you care about how it makes you feel?" Lute challenged.

Charlie stopped, staring at her. "What do you mean?"

"Say you convinced us to stop, saved those sinners outside. Are you doing it because you care about those miserable souls, or does it just make you feel good to think you helped others?" Lute turned back.

"I'm...What?" Charlie shook her head in bewilderment. "I don't understand. Is it wrong to feel good about helping others...?"

Lute sighed. "Princess, I warn you. I am Heavenborn. I have no idea how to treat small children like you, no matter where they are born."

Charlie raised an eyebrow at that but waited for Lute to elaborate.

"What I mean is it about their benefit or your satisfaction. Do you want their happiness or their gratitude?" Lute explained.

"I..." Charlie looked down. "I don't know. I've never really...been able to help someone, besides my parents. And Adam. I don't know if it's different with strangers. But does it... really matter?"

Lute paused. "Have you ever heard the proverb about teaching someone to fish?"

"Give them a fish, and they eat for a day, teach them to fish, and they'll never be hungry again?" Charlie recalled with a head tilt.

Lute nodded. "Someone who wants to be nice and feel good about helping others will provide the fish. Someone kind and that truly cares will provide the fishing lessons."

Charlie blinked with wide eyes. "That's what Adam meant," she said under her breath. "Wait, what if you don't know how to fish?"

Lute rolled her eyes. "It's a metaphor, Princess. The idea is to teach them to provide for themselves and be better for it, regardless if it benefits you in any way."

"...I don't like fish," Charlie confessed idly.

"Neither do I," Lute agreed with a shrug. "I prefer the taste of lamb."

Dazzle neighed, running behind Charlie's legs. "Was...that a joke?" Charlie asked uncertainly.

"No," Lute answered. "Not that I'd eat a Hellbeast. But yes, I prefer lamb to other meats."

"Wait, how do you get meat in Heaven...?" Charlie asked curiously.

"We can create any food desired. The meat tastes delicious, but it was never alive to begin with," Lute informed.

"Huh. That sounds...nice," Charlie said with a smile.

The door burst open from a kick. "Danger-tit*, we got skunked!" Adam said with a scowl. "Hellflake, you're not crying. Good."

"Why would I be?" Charlie asked.

"Lute here is great, but she is a crazy bitch at times. She makes me look calm," Adam mused.

"I do," Lute agreed with a smirk.

Charlie was torn between saying Adam probably shouldn't insult Lute and the fact that Lute seemed to enjoy the insult. If it was an insult. Adam and Lute's relationship confused Charlie sometimes.

"Come on, let's get you home before Old Scratch gets worried," Adam said.

"Sir? Before you go, what do you mean by skunked?" Lute asked with a frown.

"Damn bitch left a decoy behind in her safehouse," Adam grumbled.

"So, our informant lied?" Lute mused.

"Probably not. I figured they just got f*cked over intentionally by the Overbitch. She probably knew the little sh*t was turning on her and wanted us to take them out for her," Adam mused. 'I obviously did, can't let the f*ckers think they can get away with dead leads."

Charlie listened to the exchange uncomfortably. Sinners were turning on each other to save themselves from the angels. Then again, was that really different from normal, when they sold each other out to other sinners? She didn't know, but she knew that when the angels were involved, a sinner ended up double-dead.

"Come on, Hellflake, let's get going," Adam said, picking her up without a second thought.

Charlie blinked. It wasn't the first time Adam held her, but it was more spontaneous than the others. Regardless, as he took her away she waved goodbye to Lute.

She didn't wave back, but Charlie liked to think the ends of Lute's lips twitched up at the sides.

It wasn't long until they were back in the air, Charlie on his back.

"So...who were you hunting?" Charlie asked in morbid interest.

Adam made a noise of aggravation. "Elizabeth f*cking Bathory."

Charlie's eyes went wide. "The...Blood Countess."

Adam nodded. "Dracula's Hellbride. Bitch has been hiding ever since we impaled the Impaler. Ohhh, she's been on my to-kill list since she got down here."

Charlie swallowed. "Mommy and Daddy have a list too. It's a list of sinners I am to never go near if I see them. She's one of them."

Adam hummed. "Well, they did that right at least. They say why she isn't dead yet?"

"Mommy says some of the Hellborn are hiding her in the other cities. They...have similar tastes to her," Charlie answered with discomfort.

"Yeah, that's about what we figured," Adam muttered. "And your folks of course can't be bothered to deal with her any other day of the year."

Charlie wasn't sure what she could say about that. She didn't know the situation really. "...Why would she be back here then?"

"Good question. Powerplay, probably. Pentagram City isn't the only sh*tstop in Pride for sinners, but it is where most of them spawn in at. Most of the big fish are here, where the new sinners will fall into their f*cking laps," Adam mused darkly.

Charlie said nothing on the rest of the way home.

"Wait..." Adam said with a frown as they reached the balcony. "Did your parents f*cking not know she was back in town?"

"Did we know who wasn't back in town?" Lucifer asked, stepping onto the balcony with a confused look.

"Daddy!" Charlie greeted as she jumped from Adam's shoulder to Lucifer's arms.

"CharChar!" Lucifer said, grabbing her and spinning around. "I missed you! But seriously, who are we talking about?"

"Bathory, Dracula's bloodwhor*," Adam informed with a scowl.

"Yes, I heard about her. Very recently she did," Lucifer said with a scowl, holding Charlie a bit closer. "Are you about to say I'm a sh*t father for not warning Charlie?"

"Nope, she already said you did. Just making sure you got some damn eyes on the situation," Adam said with a scowl. "Hellflake, see you next year and- wait, the f*ck is Daz?"

"Sir?"

All eyes went wide and looked out to see Lute hovering there, holding Dazzle by the scruff of his neck, giving out a baa.

"I believe this belongs to the Hellspawn Princess," She said, releasing the beast, who flew over to them.

"What's she'd just call my daughter?" Lucifer muttered with a twitching eyebrow

"Thank you, Miss Lute!" Charlie spoke up before the angels and her father could get into an argument. "Dazzle! Oh, I'm so sorry we forgot you! I was sure you were on Adam's back with me!" Charlie said, rubbing the creature's head, Dazzle baa'ing happily.

"Thanks, Danger-tit*," Adam said idly as he took off to hover. "Until next time, Morningsh*ts."

"Oh, ffff*ck off!" Lucifer called off in annoyance.

Charlie giggled at the way her father said the curse word.

"And you!" Lucifer said, pointing a finger at Dazzle. "How dare you leave Charlie alone!"

"You said they have to keep me safe, Daddy," Charlie reminded with a smile, petting the goat-dragon affectionately. "Dazzle knew I was safe with Adam."

Lucifer tried not to feel part of him die at that simple and sweet logic from his daughter. "So...Lute. Is that his girlfriend? Daughter? She has his eyes, but he calls her...Danger-tit*?" Lucifer asked thoughtfully.

Charlie shrugged. "I wanted to ask, but she just said she's whatever he needs her to be."

Lucifer chose not to make many, many crass jokes about what Adam needed.

Elsewhere, Lute furrowed her brow at what Adam had given her. "This was in the safe house?"

A photo hastily burned but still recognizable. It showed a moment of Adam flying through the skies of Hell.

And Charlie Morningstar clearly on his back.

"Did you tell the Pitking, Sir?" Lute asked evenly.

"He already knows. Trust me, I can tell," Adam mused ominously. "Bathory bathed in the blood of many young girls while alive. She's kept that practice going in Hell as best she could. Imagine how much she'd want to soak in the blood of the Princess of Hell."

Lute could imagine. If treated like money, Charlie and her blood would be worth far more than gold and diamonds to a fiend like Bathory.

"The day is almost done, Sir," Lute mused. "We won't be able to find her until next year."

Adam nodded. "Let's see if Old Scratch can actually do his job this time."

'Deal with the Blood Countess?" Lute asked.

"Protect his damn cichlid."

Three Months Later

"Adam?"

Adam looked up from the drum set that Emily had created from the aether. "Drums are good, but you made the sticks too pointy," Adam informed, showing the pointed stick for effect.

"Right, sorry," Emily said softly.

Adam hummed, glancing around at the items Emily had made. A harmonica, a piano, a chair, a bathtub, and more. She was getting rather good at it Granted, it wasn't the main job of a Seraphim to make things like this, but it was good practice for her control. "Okay, spill, what's eating you, Fluffcake?"

"Sorry, I was just thinking," Emily said, fiddling with her hands. "A few days ago, I saw two souls talking. They were both soldiers in life."

"Okay, so? A lot of winners up here like to find people who were like them on Earth," Adam pointed out.

Emily looked at him uncertainly. "They died killing each other."

"Ah. Yeah, that happens sometimes," Adam said in understanding.

"It's just...strange to think about. They both killed people and died killing one another, and they both made it to Heaven," Emily said softly. "And now they both seemed like they were...friends now."

She started at the chuckle, turning to see a smile on Adam's mask. "I'm always a bit proud when people can put the war behind them after it's over and respect each other."

"Isn't...isn't killing a sin?" Emily asked softly.

"Yeah, but the entire concept of war complicates sh*t," Adam mused with a sigh. "Look, Em? Most of the time, Soldiers don't go to Hell for killing enemy soldiers. Fighting for a cause isn't enough to damn a soul, usually."

"But...why is it okay for them to kill each other?" Emily asked uncertainly.

Adam shrugged. "Sorry, this sh*t is easier to understand than explain. The main thing is that there is a big ass gap between killing someone and straight up murdering them."

"...There is?" Emily asked in surprise.

Adam nodded. "Yeah, a lot of killings don't count as murder. Say you kill someone by an honest accident, bumping them off a huge ass cliff? You're probably going to feel bad as sh*t, but that's not murder. And yes, soldiers killing each is usually not going to damn you. Again, usually. It's too complicated for this brief ass summary. But once you get into pillaging and raiding villages? That's when the pits start making a spot for you."

Emily looked thoughtful now. "I never liked to think about things like that too much, but I guess that makes sense. Things aren't black and white down there, is it?"

"Nope. You won't find any sh*t written down, Ems. Hell wasn't supposed to exist, so things got f*cked and complicated once it formed," Adam said bitterly before shaking it off. "But enough pissing around. We should get you back to Sera."

Emily nodded. "I'm just glad she apologized to you for telling you to not be around me."

"Yeah, Big Fluff decided I was a decent influence after all," Adam said with a chuckle. "Don't take her babying you too hard, Fluffcake. Sera means well with your ass, she's just worried about f*cking up your childhood and innocence."

Emily tilted her head. "Does Sera see me like a daughter?"

"Daughter, sister, something? She's your guardian if sh*t else, she just doesn't realize it. She's like a lot of first-time parents or siblings. They don't know HOW to be protective, so their asses get overprotective," Adam explained in amusem*nt.

"..." Emily was looking at him with a long, curious look.

"What? Is my f*cking mask messing up?" Adam asked with a raised eyebrow.

Emily smiled. "No, nothing at all."

Adam narrowed his eyes. He knew that smile on kids. It was either really good or really bad.

Oh well, he'd find out eventually.

Chapter 7

Chapter Text

Extermination Day, 1933

There were few words exchanged after Adam arrived. Lute and the exorcists headed out with only a nod from Adam, who immediately took off.

Charlie tilted her head as Razzle followed after the First Man. "Adam? Is something wrong? Did something happen?"

"Raz, follow me," Adam called out without looking back, suddenly flying higher, much higher into the air.

"What? Wait, Adam? Where are we going?" Charlie called out in alarm.

Adam said nothing as they ascended until the Roof of Pride was a stone's throw above them. The bright red lines of the pentagram glowed ominously around them, the moans of souls long damned and lost echoing in the air.

"Did you...want to show me this...?" Charlie asked with a furrowed brow.

Adam approached with a glare on his face.

"Adam? You're...you're scaring me," Charlie said with wide eyes. "What's wrong? Why aren't you saying anything to me?"

Adam's hands flexed, popping his knuckles as he loomed over Charlie and Razzle, the crimson rays all but shadowing the lights of his mask.

"Adam...?" Charlie whispered.

Without hesitation or warning, Adam's hand shot out and pushed Charlie off of the mount.

In the brief instance before gravity's grasp took hold, she looked at the disgusted mask of Adam with disbelief.

Right before six wings sprouted from her back, bringing her up to fly just about Razzle's back.

"What the Hell, Adam!?" 'Charlie' demanded with a voice that was definitely not her own. "You pushed my daughter off a fall like this?!"

"Lucifer," Adam said flatly.

Lucifer, still disguised as Charlie, tilted his head. "Oh? You knew this whole time?"

"I know your stench anywhere," Adam said in disgust.

"Oh, so you know me by smell?" Lucifer taunted with a smirk.

Adam elected to turn his attention to Razzle. "Hellflake back home?"

Razzle nodded with a grunt.

"You could just ask me, you know," Lucifer pointed out, crossing the arms of his small form.

"She knew about sh*tstain being out here?" Adam asked, pointing to Lucifer.

Razzle shook his head.

"Really? We're back to you ignoring me?" Lucifer asked blankly.

"If you're going to keep wearing Charlie's face, then yeah, I got sh*t to say to you," Adam said flatly as he turned to leave. "Hope you enjoyed the prank, Scratch. I'm going to go demolish that theme park of yours."

"Okay, okay, wait! First off, Charlie loves that place!" Lucifer called out. "And I didn't do this to trick you!"

"Right, the trickster isn't pulling a trick," Adam said dismissingly.

"It's about Bathory."

Adam paused, narrowed eyes. "I'm listening."

"Look, we were worried about Charlie this year. There have been a few ...incidents," Lucifer said vaguely. "And I was kind of hoping they'd try to take me captive if I pose as her this year."

Adam hummed.

"Look, Adam? I get it. I was going to tell you, but you were acting off from the start!" Lucifer defended.

"...At least you used your shapeshifting for something useful this time," Adam mused with an eye roll.

"Yeah, well, cover is blown now," Lucifer said with a sigh from Razzle's back.

"How?"

Lucifer blinked. "Umm, how, what?"

"Your cover being blown. Taking the Hellflake on a minor detour to see the damn Roof of Pride wouldn't seem that f*cking off for me," Adam pointed out calmly, resigned to the situation.

"Oooookay, but I'm sure anyone watching saw my wings?" Lucifer reminded, fluttering them for effect. "And Charlie doesn't have any wings?"

Adam gained a smirk. "Oh? And how many people know that little fact about the Hellflake?"

Lucifer opened his mouth, holding up a finger. He slowly closed and lowered both as he sat down on Razzle and retracted his wings. "Touché? So, what, you willing to play along?"

Adam exhaled. "Yeah, whatever, let's just f*cking get this done with and hope you get mugged."

"You would word it like that," Lucifer murmured to himself.

Without another word, Adam took off, softly soring down to an altitude that would be more tempting for any watching them. But the silence was heavy and strained between them.

"So, we should probably talk about something so we don't seem suspicious," Lucifer mused, pulling at his shirt. Well, Charlie's shirt. His shirt morphed into Charlie's shirt. "Charlie's had a lot of interesting questions, and-"

"You never planned on telling her, did you?" Adam asked flatly.

Lucifer went silent.

"About everything that actually happened. I'm sure that bedtime story makes her parents look so tragic and romantic," Adam mused bitterly.

"We just want to protect her, Adam," Lucifer said with a scowl. "Surely you-"

"Finish that sentence and your cover will be blown," Adam warned harshly. "And don't f*cking lie to me. You weren't trying to protect Charlie. You just couldn't take the idea of your child looking up at you in horror and ask why the hell did you do sh*t like that? Ask you both, what the f*ck were you thinking?"

Lucifer flinched. "Even if that was true, can you really-"

"Yes. Yes, I f*cking can blame you. Welcome to f*cking fatherhood you asshate," Adam said venomously.

Lucifer seethed. "What the f*ck can I say without setting your ass off? Dammit, Adam, I'm not TRYING to have an argument with you here!"

Adam honestly considered the question for a moment. "Charlie hates the violin, doesn't she?"

"I...what?" Lucifer asked in surprise.

"That year a while back, when the Harp broke? f*cking violin box flew across the floor. But Charlie barely paid attention to it. The case looks practically brand new, so she either loves it or is trying to hide that she hates it," Adam mused. "And she doesn't love it."

Lucifer furrowed his brow. "I...No. She isn't very good at it yet, but she is always happy to have lessons."

"Idiot, she doesn't give a sh*t about that, she cares about doing something with you," Adam informed flatly. "She wants to spend time with your ass and is happy to pretend to have common ground."

"How the hell would you know that?" Lucifer asked, half as a challenge and half as a question. "You only see her once a year!"

"You asked for a topic that doesn't set me off," Adam reminded with a bored tone.

Lucifer muttered something to himself.

"Shut up," Adam said abruptly.

Lucifer rolled his eyes. "I wasn't talking to you."

"No, seriously, shut up," Adam said as he slowed to a stop. "...The f*ck is that noise?"

Lucifer raised an eyebrow. "Screams? One of your locusts ending a soul?" he suggested.

"Then why isn't it stopping?" Adam asked with a furrowed brow as he looked around the city below. "And my girls haven't been here yet."

Lucifer hummed, realizing that Adam was corrected. This street wasn't covered in bodies and debris yet. And that scream was one impossibly long scream. There was no inhale, no pause, nothing.

Adam led them down to the street, causing several sinners to scurry further into hiding at the sight of the Leader of the Exorcists. But Adam paid them no mind, focusing on a store window. On display was a simple device.

A radio.

It was on though, and it was emitting a sound of screams. Horrible, terrible screams.

Adam narrowed his eyes thoughtfully.

"Morbid, but no accounting for tastes in music I suppose," Lucifer mused, one leg crossed over the other on Razzle's back. "What, did you want a souvenir this time?"

A ping noise emitted from Adam's halo, causing him to tap and silence it. "What's up, Lute?" he asked curiously.

"Sir, we have a situation. We've found the heads of several demons pilled up," Lute answered.

"That the one who brought Dazzle home last year?" Lucifer asked with a smirk.

Adam ignored him. "What, someone have trouble keeping count?"

"It wasn't us, Sir," Lute informed. "They were all in a display case with a-"

"-a radio that is literally screaming?" Adam predicted. "Seems someone has an interesting routine."

"Sir, at least some of these are Overlords. Big ones too. Jezebel, Henry, even Dubh Sith to name a few," Lute informed.

"Wait, wait, fat*ss Henry? Dammit, two of his wives are going to be disappointed," Adam mused.

Lucifer hummed but didn't poke that topic any further.

"Hey, you know who could have killed those three?" Adam asked pointedly.

"I don't even know who those souls are," Lucifer answered flatly.

"I...how do you NOT know about them?" Adam demanded pointedly.

"Why would I?" Lucifer asked, crossing his arms with a frown.

Before that conversation could escalate, the radio suddenly buzzed as the screams faded into the background. "Greetings, to our heavenly visitors from upstairs!"

Adam raised an eyebrow at the voice as he stared intently at the device.

"I hope you have enjoyed the gifts I have so generously left for you. I am new in these parts, but I heard tale that you lovely folks loved the smell of dead Overlords on an Extermination Day. I apologize if I left the pool a bit thin."

"Is he bragging to you and your murder of Exorcists?" Lucifer inquired idly, unimpressed clearly.

Adam didn't respond, continuing to listen to the broadcast.

"I do so hope you all enjoy the music of my broadcast, a fitting tune to accompany your yearly purge of us damned souls," the voice continued. "And before I go, allow me to add one more to the...chorus."

The line went silent for a moment, only the distant screams of broadcast being heard, until...

*THUD!*

"W-wait! What are you doing?!"

*dragging noise*

"Hehehehe."

"Do you have any idea who I am?!"

*wood being stabbed*

"W-we can make a deal! I can...I can..."

*creaking sound*

"NO!"

*crunch*

"HE'S EATING MY LIVER!"

*munch*munch*munch*

"GET OFF OF ME YOU SICK DEER f*ck!"

"Hahahaha!"

"AHHHHHHH!"

The scream went on and on as it blended into the background, joining the rest of the screaming voices of the audio.

"Mmmm, tasty!" the voice returned. "That was one Atys the Starving Lord, better known as Tantalus. I hope you all found his screams delicious. I would same the same for his flesh, but there wasn't much on him you see. Happy E-Day, my fellow hunters!"

There was a short silence.

"Lute? The first prick that can tell you about this radio f*ck gets to go free for the night," Adam instructed bluntly.

"Yes, Sir," Lute answered.

"What, don't like someone else moving in on your "fun", O Great Exterminator?" Lucifer asked uncaringly, kicking his Charlie-legs back and forth.

Adam slowly turned his head to look over his shoulder.

Lucifer blinked as he saw the wide, nasty grin on Adam's face.

"You remember who Tantalus was, right? You at least know that f*cking much, right?" Adam said, a chuckle in his voice.

"I...Yeah, he's the guy that cut up his own son and tried to feed him to you and some other angels," Lucifer answered. "Why?"

"That slippery f*ck has been avoiding us for nearly four thousand years now. I've been wanting to tear him apart ever since," Adam said with sad*stic glee. "But hearing his ass getting eaten alive like that?"

Adam paused, allowing the screams of the radio to wash over.

"Music to my ears," Adam said in amusem*nt.

"Ugh, this is why I don't like Charlie being around you. Sometimes I'm more worried about you corrupting her than the rest of Hell," Lucifer said with an eye roll.

"If that's how you feel, just head home on your own," Adam barked out rather loudly, walking down the street.

"What? Adam, where are- and he's gone," Lucifer said flatly. "Asshole, where did that come from?"

"Looks like you're on your own, Girly."

Lucifer blinked as he was suddenly grabbed and pulled off Razzle, who suddenly neighed and ran off, taking to the fly. Just like Lucifer had told him to do.

Lucifer blinked, looking to the left to see a literal bat demon with four arms holding his Charlie-disguise by the back of the shirt.

'Ahh, Adam realized they were coming after me and made me a tempting target. Smart,'Lucifer thought. He swallowed, using the chance to change gears, switching back to his full-Charlie imitation. Or rather, general-scared-child imitation, because he didn't want to think about Charlie being in this situation! "W-who are you?! What do you want with me?!"

"Nothing much Princess, just someone wanting to meet you," the hellbat answered with a grin, holding up a sack and pulling out some rope.

Blessed rope.

Lucifer didn't need to fake his surprise as the demon tied him up.'Okay, I can break this in like, two seconds at most, but wasn't expecting that. Bathory called in some favors to get these.'

"Don't try anything and this'll all be over real soon for you," the bat demon mused before throwing the shapeshifter into the sack.

Lucifer hummed as he lay upside down in the sack, debating on how long to let this go on. He could wait for the demon to arrive at Bathory's location, or he could just go full devil-mode and get the answers from this winged rat.

'I wonder if Adam ever told Charlie about him and Lilith making bats?'Lucifer thought idly, mind drifting back to Eden.

One of Lilith and Adam's more cooperative projects. A winged rodent, but they could never figure out how to make the wings "feel" right.

'Whose idea was it to make their arms into wings instead of having six limbs?'Lucifer tried to recall.

It was hard to remember. Not because the memories were foggy or unclear. Just the opposite, his memories were as crystal clear as the day they happened. He recalled everything and he could revisit anything from his past.

But revisiting Eden meant his mind, in all its chaotic nature, would drift to...everything else about Eden. Everything that happened, everything they did. And everything that came after. Their Fall from Heaven, Mankind's Fall from Eden. And so much more.

He hadn't talked about Eden in over seven thousand years. Everyone he would care to tell either saw everything happen themselves or heard it long ago.

He sometimes wondered, just how Adam bared to talk about it? With Charlie of all people?

Some part of him wanted to be suspicious. Because it was Adam. Of course, he would want revenge, and who better to do it through than Charlie? What better way to twist the knife?

But his Pride wouldn't allow him to act on that possibility. His pride as a father was wounded that Adam had to defend Charlie for him...but also grateful he did.

The bat demon, carrying the bag on his back through an alley, looked over his shoulder in annoyed confusion as his prize started moving weirdly, practically hitting him in the back. "Watch it, brat or I'll-!"

The bag suddenly caught on fire. And as a horrid chanting reached the edge of the demon's hearing, he dropped the bag and turned in shock. But the bag didn't fall, it floated as that dark and terrible fire grew.

With a single flutter of a wing, the flames burst out, sending the kidnapper onto his rear as the alley was coated in literal hellfire. He looked on with terror as he saw the figure that hovered before him. The horns, the six pale wings, the pure red eyes, the flaming halo, the spotted cheeks.

The Devil himself.

Lucifer's grin was just a bit too wide, wider than he'd ever show Charlie as he leaned down, flicking his finger up.

The bat was suddenly choking as he was forced to stand on his knees, the King of Hell leaning down to look into his eyes.

"Now, who were you kidnapping again?" Lucifer asked toyingly.

"I-I-I had no idea that was-" the bat demon stuttered in terror.

"Shhh," Lucifer silenced him with feigned softness. "That was a joke. I know EXACTLY-" He snarled the word with fire at his tongue- "who you tried to kidnap. I'm more interested in...just where were you taking my daughter?"

The bat demon knew he was screwed, utterly and eternally. But he knew which way would get him into a worse pit.

"She's hiding in a theater at the southeast triangle, the Sanguidrome. You can't miss it. Big building with giant red fangs on the front," the bat answered quickly.

Lucifer growled, actually growled, in a pleased way. "Thank you. I'll deal with you later."

With a snap of his finger, the demon was gone, consumed by flames and vanished in the winds of Hell.

Elsewhere, Charlie tossed and turned in her sleep. It had always been hard to sleep on Extermination Day. It didn't sound too different from how Hell normally did, but it was still harder to ignore the sounds, knowing what they were.

But now? She had been seeing Adam on this night for fourteen years, this would be the fifteenth. Her mind just automatically looked forward to it again, expecting it.

She didn't know why, exactly. Her parents told her that it wasn't to keep her away from Adam, and she believed them. It might be about an Overlord like the Blood Countess. She had overheard her mother speaking with Hellborn on the other rings about Bathory when she didn't think Charlie was close by.

Ultimately, she let out a breath and gave up, pulling her sheets off. She climbed out of bed, mindful not to wake up Razzle or Dazzle as she carried herself to her vanity dresser. It was supposed to be where she fixed her hair, but she also spent a lot of time drawing pictures of it.

She hummed to herself, not paying much attention to what she was drawing, allowing her mind to wander. It did that a lot now, trying to shift together pieces of a puzzle she had only a few pieces to. What was once a bedtime story about how her parents met was now a huge mystery to her. How much of the story was true? What had Adam meant by the Exorcists not being the only ones to raid Hell? What had happened in ten thousand years, that no one had tried to settle or put an end to?

How did they all end up here?

She was a few years shy of a hundred-thirty now, but she wasn't even a teenager yet in body and soul. The cost of being born too powerful, it could be said- someone like her either came into existence fully grown or took a long time to grow into her power.

Sheltering her was one reason why she didn't have many friends. But the other was just that grew up too slow. She would still be a child when they grew to adulthood.

Charlie blinked and looked up suddenly.

It was quiet, she realized. The sounds of Extermination Day had stopped, but it was too early. She ran over to the closed doors of her balcony to look outside but stopped.

Her windows were foggy.

Why would they be foggy? Why couldn't she see outside?

Her heart skipped a beat as the door suddenly slid open as if it had never fully been closed.

Her feet moved almost on their own. Some part of her told her going outside right now might not be a good idea, but something was drawing her forward.

'She was charmed beneath the tree'

It was singing. A voice in the air. A beautiful, haunting voice. Was that her mother? She couldn't tell.

'His eyes are stained with fear'

"Mommy? Are you...are you out there?" Charlie whispered as she crept to the door.

There was no answer. Maybe she was on the next balcony and didn't hear her call?

'A dream unbound and smeared with blood'

But why would her mother be singing outside on Extermination Night? Why would Extermination Night be silent?

'the forging of mankind's tears.'

She stepped outside and felt a heat rush over her, making her flinch back with a wince.

'The Pride that tore away her place,'

She slowly opened her eyes.

'yet the pits couldn't tame her.'

A crayon fell from her hand.

She numbly walked out to the edge, staring in disbelief.

Blood.

Pentagram City was gone.

And there was so much blood.

'The rot erode by the plunge'

A vast sanguine ocean for as far as the eyes could see, high enough that it lapped at the edge of her balcony. The crimson view was sprinkled with dots of what might be ruins piercing the surface. And a soft mist came off the sea of blood, filling her lungs with every breath.

'The ashes gathered by myrrh'

She trembled and numbly looked down over the railing. Floating in the red were bodies. Countless corpses drifting along aimlessly, their unblinking eyes staring up lifelessly.

'Emption made with children's blood'

"What...what is this? What happened?" Charlie whispered in horror.

For a moment, there was only silence.

And the singing. She was eerily aware that someone was still singing.

'A slight against all fairness.'

Charlie gave a small scream as the balusters suddenly snapped, the section falling out from under her grasp. She barely caught herself as the frame fell into the blood.

'The trapped erased for all they wrought'

Like a hornet nest disturbed, the bodies seemed to come to life without warning, crawling and clawing at the balcony, reaching to her, their hands trying to pull her down into the depths.

Charlie backed away, breathing hard. She turned to run back into her room, but the door snapped closed.

"No! Razzle! Dazzle! Help, I can't get in!" Charlie called, pulling desperately at the knob. Over her shoulder, she could see the demons failing to climb up, but only because the blood made their limbs too slippery. "Mommy...?! Daddy!? Someone, please!"

But no one answered.

'The Hidden unblessed bereft of fraught'

Charlie stilled as the singing grew louder in her ears. She looked out again, and up to the sky.

There was something in the sky, a bright light, descending as a comet. But it was slow, graceful as it descended into hell. The corpses seemed more desperate at its arrival.

'His mask yet shown without a crack'

The comet touched the crimson sea.

'The burden of all he is defending'

And the sea boiled!

Instantly, blood bubbled and a wave of steam rushed across the ocean! And before Charlie's very eyes, that endless expanse of corpses were set fire, falling away from her balcony as the air was choked with their burnt flesh.

'Violence against all she adored'

Through the blood and the steam, she could see the comet.

'Here comes the Breaker of Horns'

And she felt in her heart that the comet saw her too.

Charlie slowly slid down against her door, tears falling from her eyes.

She stopped with a start as she felt something touch her hand. She looked down and saw it.

The crayon she dropped. A white crayon.

As golden crayon, as bright as angel wings.

"...Adam?"

"I got you, Hellflake."

Charlie gasped at his voice, right in her ear as-

Charlie opened her eyes, groggy and warry. She dimly realized she was looking out at Pentagram City from her balcony and Adam.

Adam was holding her, propping her against his shoulder. Her parents held her like this a lot.

"What happened?" Charlie asked groggily.

"You fell asleep on the balcony, kid. You sleepwalk or something?" Adam asked idly.

"Don't think so. Had a bad dream," Charlie murmured with a sniff. "Adam? Do...do you know where my Mom and Dad are?"

"Your old man is out dealing with Bathory, or her goons," Adam explained casually. "Your mom is probably waiting on my ass to leave."

If Charlie was more awake or less upset by her dream, she might have commented on those answers. "...You came to see me?" she realized with a smile.

"Yep," Adam answered without hesitation.

They both paused as a rather loud explosion echoed across the city, a small rumble in the ground as a column of hellfire and smoke rose in the distance.

Charlie sat up in surprise. "Is that the Exorcists?" she asked in surprise. Normally only Adam did things like that.

"No," Adam answered knowingly, pausing as a terrible roar echoed over the Ring of Pride. "That would be your father."

"Daddy is...?" Charlie realized in disbelief.

"Never seen him get like this, eh?" Adam realized.

"Are you...are you going to take me to see him? Like that?" Charlie asked uncertainly.

Adam gave her a flat look. "I already f*cking told you, Hellflake. I'm not breaking whatever precious image you have of them."

That...somehow didn't make Charlie feel better, but she was glad she didn't have to see whatever it was right now.

"You've...seen him like this before, haven't you?" Charlie realized.

Adam's silence and unimpressed stare told her enough.

Charlie looked down, her head spinning with thoughts she couldn't put together.

"Come on, let's get you to bed," Adam said as he took her inside.

"We didn't get to talk tonight," Charlie muttered, unhappy.

"Eh, don't worry about it," Adam said with a smirk. "When you wake up, just ask your mom for the story about the missing possum nipple."

Charlie squinted. "...What?"

"Some possums have an odd number of nipples, your Mom is the reason why," Adam informed with a grin.

Charlie almost felt too curious to sleep, but the yawning won out as she was placed on her bed with Razzle and Dazzle. "Adam?"

"Just one question, Hellflake, make it count," he warned with a smile.

"Eve made you the sun, right?" Charlie remembered. "Did you make her something too?"

Adam almost lost his smile, but caught it again. "I painted the sunset. So that when our sun went to sleep, the sky before night would look as beautiful as Eve. That's why I called it Evening."

Charlie's eyes gleamed in amazement even as they drifted away. "Why do you sound...so mean...in the story...?"

She probably hadn't meant to ask that aloud, so Adam didn't answer, letting her drift off to slumber.

Elsewhere, Lute watched over the burning wreck of the sanguidrome, knowing full well the Devil was down in those flaming ruins.

"Aren't you that one that brought Razzle back for my Charlie?"

Or, he had been.

Lute glared to the side, seeing the short, fallen angel floating nearby with a toothy smile. "Sorry, it's just so hard to tell with those masks on," Lucifer remarked.

Lute didn't answer, merely narrowing her eyes.

"Fine, I confess, that's a lie. I can tell you're the same soul, of course. Fallen or not, I haven't lost that power," Lucifer said with a smirk

Lute still didn't respond.

"What? Adam not give you permission to talk to other men?" Lucifer asked teasingly.

"Sodomize yourself with a cucumber and gag on it," Lute said flatly. "There, I have spoken. Satisfied?"

"Tried that once, but in reverse," Lucifer mused, unoffended. "So, did Adam have a child in heaven or are you wife number three?"

"You don't remember me, do you?" Lute asked flatly.

"Should I?" Lucifer asked with a raised eyebrow. "I mean, I've met with a few exorcists, but-"

"We met before I was an exorcist, Filth," Lute informed, glaring through the mask.

"Oh?" Lucifer said in surprise. "When was that?"

"Scratch."

Lucifer glanced up to see Adam looking over him with a glare. "Adam! I was wondering where you were?" he said with a grin.

"Your daughter had a nightmare," Adam informed flatly.

Lucifer froze as the smile fell from his face. "Is she...alright?"

"Yeah, I put her back to bed after she calmed down,," Adam informed flatly.

"That was...nice of you," Lucifer said. "I should really-"

"Lute, head out and get some kills, I'll deal with him," Adam informed bluntly.

"Sir," Lute said with a nod, flying off.

"Was that really necessary? Lucifer asked with an eye roll. "I was just talking to your-"

"You talking sh*t to the women in my life usually ends f*cking badly. For everyone, present and future," Adam reminded harshly.

Lucifer balled his fist at that but bit his tongue.

"Now skip the bullsh*t. What happened with Bathory? She dead?" Adam asked pointedly

"Sadly no," Lucifer admitted with a sigh. "Turns out, she has a special ability."

"That being?" Adam asked, mildly interested.

"A very select few Overlords of the very scummy kind have the rather nasty trick of being able to sacrifice a soul they own to save their own. Basically, the two souls switch places physically, transferring all damage in the process," Lucifer informed with mild distaste.

"So that's why Rasputin came back once, among other things," Adam muttered. "So, she's in the wind?"

"Yes, but she is running out of lives," Lucifer mused, looking down at the flaming theater. "That trick gets more likely to fail every time she uses it. And she's used it at least three times, I think."

"Think she'll be stupid and attack your home while Lilith is guarding it?" Adam asked idly.

'"I can only hope," Lucifer said with a snort. "Adam, be honest with me for two minutes."

Adam just grunted.

"Is there an ulterior motive for spending time with Charlie?" Lucifer asked pointedly. "And I'll know if you're lying."

"Oh, f*ck you, Scratch. I'm not the damn Prince of Lies here," Adam waved off.

"I'm serious," Lucifer said pointedly.

"Yeah, there is," Adam answered, looking over at the fallen seraphim. "I want to see if Charlie is better than her parents."

Lucifer stilled at that.

"Pretty f*cking low bar, I know," Adam added on scathingly. "But it's always good to see some people turn out great INSPITE of their damned parents.

Lucifer frowned. "You'd know a lot about spite, I suppose."

"What can I say? I had some excellent teachers," Adam said accusingly.

"...I think we should go now," Lucifer said, starting to fly away.

"Lucifer."

He stopped and glanced back.

"Keep an eye on Charlie," Adam said, looking up at the red sky. "sh*t is rolling downhill in the human world, I can hear it."

Lucifer turned and looked at him strangely.

"And keep me posted if Bathory is killed or not," Adam said before taking off.

"Yeah, sure, fine," Lucifer accepted halfheartedly, rubbing his head to massage the headache away.

He'd worry about all that later. Right now, he was just going to go home and make sure his daughter was okay before talking to his wife about everything that happened.

Oh, and he had some minions of Bathory to torture for a little bit, where Charlie wouldn't see or hear them of course.

Chapter 8

Chapter Text

Eight Months Before Extermination Day, 1934

"AdamAdamAdam!"

That was the only warning Adam had before a grey-blue blur interrupted his meal, seated at the end of a table. Obviously, he was the only one still wearing a mask. "Sup, Ems. Want some honeyed glire?"

"I.....what?" Emily blinked, looking at the offered dish. It was some kind of cooked creature, or part thereof, seasoned with honey and surrounded by some greens and grapes. "What is a glire?"

"f*cking delicious. But it's also a dormouse," Adam informed with a grin.

"A...mouse? That big? And people cook mice?" Emily asked in surprise. Granted, she knew no eaten meat in Heaven had never been alive.

"Yeah, I just called it a glire since, well, that's what the Romans called it," he trailed off and motioned to the fact they were in a restaurant that bore a lot of look of ancient Roman, complete with colorful tiles on the wall. "Rich patrician f*cks gobbled this sh*t up. Damn hilarious how one century's cattle is another century's vermin."

"Didn't they also eat a lot of....reproductive organs from animals?" Emily asked uncomfortably.

Adam shared her distaste. "Yeah, never my cup of tea. That taste is acquired as f*ck. But that sh*t was mostly them thinking that eating another creature's sex-bits will make it easier to have kids somehow. Like some kind of f*cking fertility vampirism," he rambled on. "So, what'd you yelling for me about?"

"Huh? Oh! Right! I got something amazing to show you!" Emily answered with sparkling blue eyes. "But, we can wait until you're done eating."

"Kid, you got my damn attention, so either you're ordering something or I'm f*cking getting this to go, take your pick," Adam instructed.

"Oh, um....where is the menu?" Emily asked after a moment, deciding to be adventurous.

Adam jabbed a thumb towards a wall. The upper part of it was filled with mosaic tiles depicting certain dishes. "If you get any fish, get the garum. That sauce is the sh*t," Adam recommends.

Emily nodded, getting the attention of a waiter, who had the look of a rather lithe minotaur, and gave her own order. As she waited, she couldn't help noticing something. "Aren't you usually with some of the Exorcists? Or Lute?"

Adam nodded. Most up here knew nothing about the Exterminations, but everyone knew that Heaven had its armies. "Yeah, she's drilling some fresh meat. And I'm scoping out places to have a f*cking good party when they pass. You know, and also some try some grub I haven't tasted in a long ass time."

Twenty minutes later, two very not-hungry angels were heading just outside Heaven's walls. "Oh, I hope I can find them again!" Emily said in excitement as she took on her multi-eyed form, reaching out a glowing blue hand and forming a large ripple in the air down below them. Soon, it was showing images of things going on in the living world.

Adam watched it all rather passively. He had already known Emily had mastered being able to make viewing portals for looking into current events on Earth. He even suckered Sera into joining him in taking Emily out to get ice cream.

Sera was fondly annoyed at him now, if only because Emily apparently didn't know just how many different flavors of ice cream there were in Heaven. She now had the rather expected goal of trying every flavor one day.

He wondered if Sera was finally wising up to her own familial feelings for Emily, motherly or big-sisterly. If not, he might have to spell it out to her. Honestly, he had noticed it for decades but hadn't cared to say anything about it.

His eyes lidded slightly, fully aware of what had started tugging out some of his old parental instincts, among other things.

"Adam!" Emily called out excitedly, waving him over eagerly.

"Whatcha got, Ems?" Adam asked idly as he flew next to her. He found they were looking into a house on Earth. Where exactly, he wasn't sure. All he knew was that they were looking at a group of infants lying on a bed. "What, too f*cking cute not to show?" Adam asked skeptically.

"No, Adam, look at them," Emily insisted, almost buzzing with some amazement about her.

Adam quirked a brow as he looked at the image again and- "Wait a f*cking minute," He blinked. "They're.....quintuplets?"

Emily nodded rapidly. "Adam, these are the first set of five babies to survive being born at once!"

The first set to survive without dying to any of the normal issues that endangered a child living long past the womb. But he didn't bother to correct her. Especially since, by miracles of miracles, he couldn't see any shades of death hovering over any of these babes. Which meant they wouldn't die young, not as long as they were taken care of.

Adam's eyes grew a bit distant now. "That's a first for me."

"Isn't it amazing? And other humans from all over sent them so many gifts and well wishes! Everyone was amazed by this, Adam!" Emily said with a joyous look.

"Heh."

Emily suddenly stopped, looking over to see Adam staring strangely at the image. It was hard to read with the mask, but the lights showed an expression that was happy but....tired? Amused? Something else she didn't know the name of yet?

"Humans weren't meant to have that many at once," Adam mused idly. "And back in the old days, they just....wouldn't have. Three at the most."

"The old days?" Emily asked quietly. "You mean before...."

Adam's gaze morphed into what Emily could only call an ancient and withered glare. The portal showing the infants on earth vanished and Emily winced as she heard a faint rumbling in the distant clouds. "Before the Flood."

Emily held her hands to her chest as she watched Adam turn away from her. She wasn't...scared of him. But she couldn't help but feel she had carelessly touched something she shouldn't have.

"Thank you, Emily," Adam said, starting her in shock as he still kept his back to her. "I don't have "firsts" too often anymore. Let alone happy ones."

That voice was Adam's, but it almost sounded so...different right now.

It occurred to her that, while Adam talked a lot, she didn't really understand him.

But she wanted to.

After all, her duty was to help keep all the souls in Heaven happy.

How else could she understand how to do that, than by understanding the Man who fell from Paradise and climbed his way back into Heaven?

Extermination Day, 1934

It was different this year. Charlie didn't know why, but it was.

Instead of taking her home immediately, Adam had taken her down to the roof of a building. They sat on the ledge over an alley, denizens of Hell fleeing at the sight of the Head Exorcist overhead.

Charlie idly rubbed Razzle's back as he laid his head on her lap. Dazzle was looking up at Adam curiously, probably hoping for some scratches of his own.

Something was bothering Adam, that much was obvious.

"You don't know why the exterminations exist, do you?" Adam asked suddenly.

The lack of profanity was almost surprising. "I....do? To keep Hell from overpopulating and becoming a threat to Heaven?" she answered uncertainly.

"And why does Hell overpopulating make it a threat to Heaven?" Adam probed pointedly.

Charlie opened her mouth and then closed it.

"Dammit," Adam grunted. "Hellflake? Angels aren't invulnerable."

"Huh? They aren't?" Charlie asked in surprise. "And should...you be telling me?"

"It's not a secret. Every f*cker knew this at some point. I'm not surprised the sinner asses don't know anymore, most from back then are gone, but I promise most of the damn upper Hellborns know this sh*t still," Adam explained with bitterness. "Do you know what Immanence is?"

"It sounds like Immense, but I don't think it's the same thing," Charlie answered doubtfully.

"Not a bit, no," Adam answered with a sigh. "Heaven is free of all the sh*tty problems Earth has, Hellflake. Including decay, sh*t breaking down through wear and tear."

"Okay...?" Charlie answered, not quite understanding.

"What I mean is we can't be hurt unless the f*cker attacking us is about as strong as us or stronger. And wants to hurt our asses. You can't wear down an angel with a horde of weak ass f*ckers, you actually need a big gun to do us in," Adam explained with a grimace.

"But...doesn't that mean the Exterminations are pointless?" Charlie asked with a furrowed brow. Then she remembered just who and what Adam liked to target. "Wait....Overlords?"

"Got it in one, Hellflake," Adam praised absently. "If some hellion ass gets a lot of souls, and I mean a lot? They can become strong enough to overcome that sh*t, our Immanence."

"Immanence," Charlie repeated with interest, her mind working out what Adam was saying.

"Come on, let's get you home. f*ck knows staying on this roof too long is asking for trouble," Adam muttered., turning to let her climb on his back.

Charlie did so, Razzle and Dazzle flying up to claim their own spots as Adam took to the air.

"Immanence? Is that an...Angel thing, or a Heaven thing?" Charlie asked suddenly.

Adam frowned. "Heaven. Your father lost it when he was thrown down here. He's still ageless and sh*t, but any invulnerability is just him f*cking protecting himself with his own magic."

"Oh. so, I can't get that either," Charlie said softly, rubbing at her head.

Adam looked at her with a furrowed brow, recalling the incident with the wolfman.

Charlie felt his gaze and decided to return to the previous subject. "So, you....try to keep the sinner population to a certain amount, so no overlord can get that strong?" Adam just nodded without a word. "But...how do you know how many souls they'd need?"

Adam gave her a long look, raising an eyebrow as if to say the answer was obvious.

Charlie's expression fell. "Someone....did it before, didn't they?"

"More than one, Hellflake," Adam said with a scowl. "Humans still remember them, in a way. Cipactli, Apophis, Lotan, Nidhogg, Vritra, Orochi. Those f*cks Abzu and Tiamat, or Typhon and Echidna."

Charlie recognized some of those names, and what she recalled of them wasn't good. Monsters in legends, some that were threats to the entire world. "So, when Lute said she didn't just think Hell could be a threat...."

Adam was silent.

Charlie looked down as something finally connected. "You're really trying to protect Heaven from us."

"Kid, I lost Eden. Earth is a sh*t replacement. Your family doesn't get to touch Heaven," Adam said bluntly.

"That's-!" Charlie stopped and bit her lip. "I don't think they want to."

They were both aware of her use of the word "think" instead of just denying the possibility.

"Hellflake? You're going to ask some question one day you will f*cking hate the answer to," Adam warned.

"....." Charlie considered that deeply before continuing. "Next year, I'm going to bake cookies in the Embassy."

"Still set on that, huh?" Adam said with a smirk.

Charlie nodded firmly. "Can you please make sure I have everything I need to bake there? I don't want anyone thinking I brought anything from home."

"Hellflake, we'll know if any sh*t happens in the Embassy. You and your cookie-baking ass will be fine," Adam promised.

"....Adam? I know this is a question I might not like an answer to, but...." Charlie bit her mouth. "Do you think one day, Heaven and Hell can....not be enemies?"

Adam considered how to answer. Then he remembered Emily's words months ago. And he decided to tell Charlie the truth.

"I used to."

Charlie's eyes widen, her mouth opening but her tongue refused to move. She wanted to ask, but she knew she shouldn't. Adam.... used to have some kind of hope, about people in Hell? But how long ago? Not recently. At least before...

"How long have the Exterminations been going on for?" Charlie asked without thinking. "The actual Exterminations?"

"Around five thousand years," Adam answered without missing a beat.

Charlie saw her home getting closer and found her mind racing for anything else to ask him. "Will you come to my birthday party!"

Adam jerked again, but this time from trying to cover up a laugh.

Charlie winced in embarrassment as they landed. "I'm sorry, that just slipped out, I panicked!"

"You're fine, Hellflake, that was just way too serious," Adam said in amusem*nt.

".....Will you?" Charlie asked curiously.

Adam turned to face her with a frown. "Hellflake, I don't think your parents are going to want my ass around them any more than I want them around me."

"That...isn't exactly a no," Charlie noted curiously.

"If I did, I'd have to bring my own food and everything," Adam countered. "Or go hungry."

"You're not saying no," Charlie realized with a smile.

"And I can't promise to not start sh*t if I'm around your parent for a long time," Adam pointed out.

"You're Coming To My Birthday!" Charlie said in excitement.

"Look, I'll send you a present, but that's all I'm f*cking promising, okay?" Adam forewarned flatly.

"Deal!" Charlie said with a grin, suddenly dancing with Razzle and Dazzle.

"Oh no, I just made a deal with the Princess of Hell," Adam said in dry humor. "When is it?"

"Sixth of August!" Charlie answered as she came to a stop with a wide grin.

Adam shook his head as he looked into Charlie's room.

Charlie tilted her head at his gaze, following it. "Oh! Right! Daddy is teaching me the piano."

So, the Devil actually listened when someone said his idea was bad. Amazing. But Adam kept that thought to himself. "Well, birthday or not, see you next year, Hellflake."

Charlie waved with a smile..... then realized she had to bring this up with her parents.

Adam searched for Lute, casually destroying buildings or taking a potshot at some sinner hiding down below. He eventually found her dealing with- "Was that f*cker a skunk?"

"Honey Badger. I hope at least, Sir," Lute answered, flicking the blood of her weapon. "All well for the night?"

Adam nodded. "Any word on Radio-f*ck?"

"According to what we've heard, he's been hunting Overlords still, but not as much. I have to assume the initial slaughter was just to make a name for him," Lute mused.

"Lucic*nt sent me a message a few days ago. Bathory is in hiding again, or dead. Hard to tell sh*t at the moment. For once, our f*cking guts are aligned, the bitch isn't done yet," Adam mused.

"She's probably in one of the settlements outside the Pentagram," Lute remarked.

"Not so, my winged fellows!"

Both looked down from where they hovered.

Lute glared and Adam raised an eyebrow.

Alastor the Radio Demon just smiled on.

"Would my fellow hunters be interested in some information on some rather Batty prey?" Alastor called up with a grin.

No one moved for a moment.

Then Adam grinned.

To his credit, Alastor did not flinch when Adam shot down like a comet and landed behind the overlord with a loud thud.

However, Alastor was a bit....surprised by the sheer height of the First Man.

"You're much bigger than your female compatriots, I noticed," Alastor mused as he faced the Head Exorcist.

"f*cko, talk, or you're back on the hunting list," Adam warned.

"Fair enough!" Alastor said in amusem*nt. "The Good Lady Bathory is still very much in the city. "

"And you know this how, scum?" Lute asked, floating down behind the deer sinner.

Alastor's ear twitched, very aware he was pincered between a dangerous enemy and a VERY dangerous enemy. "Because, Madam, she tried to force me into a contract," he said casually, studying his radio staff. "I refused. It seems our 'King' did a number on her power base last year, and she is attempting to rebuild. And I hear the queen has been....pruning the vampire's friends among the Hellborn."

Adam leaned a bit closer, eyes narrowed with a scrutinizing gaze. "If she doesn't own your soul, how the f*ck would you have useful info on her?"

"Well, she seems to enjoy rather rudely stealing my prey," Alastor said with a smirk. "I thought about dealing with her myself. Her voice would add such a lovely, noble quality to my broadcast."

The Overlord paused, allowing said broadcast to suddenly play. Either from his mouth or the radio on his cane. Or both.

"But I thought it might be more...valuable to offer that pleasure to you," Alastor said with a rather nasty grin. "So, if I were to dedicate my time and effort to locating her before next year's hunt, what might it be worth to our visitors from Heaven?"

Adam and Lute shared a look. This deer had balls, they were in agreement on that.

".....Tell you what? We kill her next E-Day, you don't have to worry about us for five years," Adam offered.

"Mmm, enticing," Alastor admitted, rubbing his chin.

He held perfectly still as the light of Adam's wing ominously grew brighter.

"But if you're f*cking with me? I'll skewer you on your cane and burn your soul away with Holy Fire," Adam warned with a glare.

One of his wings shot up, sending a wave of holy power into a building nearby, sending it crashing down behind Adam and dust to roll over the trio briefly.

Lute ignored the smoke of debris that passed them as Adam held Alastor's stare until the ruckus ended. "We have an understanding?"

"A very perspicuous one," Alastor answered, resisting his instinct to flee and put some distance between him and this angel.

"Good. Cause I do actually like your sick ass 'play their screams over the radio' schtick," Adam said with a smirk, allowing his threatening power to fade.

"Always happy to meet a fan!" Alastor said with a mock bow.

"Don't push it, or I'm snapping those antlers off," Adam warned while waving him off. "You got one year, make it f*cking count."

"But of course," Alastor said with a stage bow, suddenly overtaken by shadows, vanishing away before either angel changed their minds.

"Furry f*ck is lucky. Bathory is about the only Overf*ck I'd let another Overf*ck trade-in to save their skin," Adam remarked.

"Sir, are you sure we can trust him?" Lute asked skeptically.

"We can trust that Bathory doesn't own his ass," Adam answered. "Come on, let's go to the red light district and demolish the place a little. f*ck knows half the saps stuck there probably want to be double-dead."

Charlie's Birthday, 1935

'Adam,

Charlie said you might be sending or delivering a present for her birthday? You're invited either way. Please don't kill anyone on my daughter's special day, she'll be sad.

Lucifer'

Adam had rolled his eyes at the rather short letter the first time. He had no intention of staying for Charlie's party, just dropping off the present in her room. He was not at the point where he could imagine being around Lucifer for an hour or more, let alone him and Lilith.

With that in mind, he portaled to Charlie's balcony. Being 'invited' by the Devil meant he could teleport here just as easily as he could teleport back out of Hell and into Heaven.

He placed a wrapped present on her empty bed and made to depart without a word.

And he would have if he didn't smell the blood in the air.

He stopped at Charlie's door, eyes narrowed as he wondered just who this was. No one smart. Trying to attack Charlie right on her birthday?

He was unsurprised when some winged sinner suddenly shot up, diving over the balcony, probably assuming Charlie would be here instead of him.

Adam was already prepared to throw the scum back out in short order, but he was surprised to find it wasn't needed.

The sinner hit an invisible shield, now covered by pulsing purple symbols, which covered the balcony and likely the rest of the manor. The sinner's face contorted in agony, but no scream came from his throat before he was repelled from the balcony rather forcefully.

Adam walked outside, looking down at the sinner. He had landed against the stone wall surrounding the manner, sloped over a bush. Adam saw he was some Turkish asshole who smelled of sadism and a lot of blood. "Zeki," he realized in distaste as the sinner twitched. "Tempting to let this f*cker go crawling back to Bathory, but...."

Adam trailed off as the sinner, having some vaguely cat-like ears, growled while getting back to his feet. He glared up at Adam, either not seeing the holy wings or not caring at this point. He tried to attack the exorcist but found himself pulled back down.

Adam watched dispassionately as the shadows around the sinner came to life, grabbing at his struggling limbs. He tried to roar in defiance, but the shadows choked and gagged him as they pulled him down into the darkness.

And on the wall, the shadow of a horned woman watched, with glowing purple eyes glaring down at the foolish soul.

The shadows vanished once the sinner's desperate claw vanished, taken to someplace young ears would not hear the screams.

A mother has the right to the finishing blow against any fool that comes after her brood. Even Lilith was allowed that.

Still, Adam turned back and frowned at the door into Charlie's room. He narrowed his eyes, extending a wing in.

He could feel the barrier protecting against intruders. He could sense Lilith's magic in it.

He should have noticed that from day one. And he would have, if not for one simple thing.

They were keyed to not harm him.

Lilith trusted him that much around Charlie.

"You stupid bitch," Adam muttered loudly.

He was very aware that someone was standing on the next balcony over, staring at his back.

He deliberately ignored her, while being loud enough for her to hear.

"You don't have the right to trust me with sh*t," Adam swore bitterly, opening a portal back to Heaven.

Lilith watched him leave before returning to Charlie's party. And to tell Lucifer about the new "guest" they needed to entertain later.

Extermination Day, 1935

"You're sure?"

Alastor retained his smile despite knowing the angel would be more than willing to kill him if he so much as breathed wrong. "Quite certain! The poor old bat seems rather desperate to acquire the Princess."

Adam glanced at him with a narrowed look. "You know what this place is?"

"I believe it was a bakery," Alastor answered, tilting his head in amusem*nt. "But I doubt that's what you meant.

"Dracula and her had a small fort here. Why the f*ck would she come here?" Adam mused.

"Nostalgia, perhaps? Or some hellish form of dementia. She does seem to ramble and rave a bit," Alastor speculated, his eyes changing and his horns growing. "Or is the Great Exterminator scared of a leech?"

"I'm tired of this bitch f*cking off with this sacrificial soul-switching sh*t," Adam answered, appearing to not even notice the intimidation display. Alastor retreated his demonic features, clearly disappointed it had no effect on angels. "Hey, f*cko? You're a cannibal, right?"

"Mmm, impressive. What possibly gave it away? Did I leave something in my teeth, perhaps?" Alastor joked, making an effort to brush a finger over his teeth.

"You're not from the Soviet Republic, or whatever it's f*cking called now, right?" Adam asked idly.

"Hmm? Do I sound Russian?" Alastor asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Brat, all damn accents sound the same to me sometimes. f*cking Nimrod," Adam grunted in annoyance.

Alastor narrowed his eyes until he realized the "Nimrod" wasn't an insult or directed at him.

"There was some huge f*cking famine going on over there around the time you showed up. Lots of new cannibals in Heaven," Adam remarked.

Alastor paused at that. "There are cannibals in Heaven?"

Adam nodded. "The ones that didn't want to be, and didn't murder someone for the damn body."

Alastor hummed. "Well, I suppose I should be going. Take care, Great Exterminator."

With that, he vanished into the shadows, leaving the area.

Adam just shook his head and headed into the derelict shop. He could search the place, but that was boring.

Adam summoned his new weapon, a large golden halberd. Or a spear-axe as he always thought of the weapon, but halberd was a pretty cool name, he'd admit. "Been meaning to switch things up," he mused, testing it in his grip.

He raised the holy weapon high over his head, divine light channeling through it before he brought it down onto the ground.

The building around him was instantly destroyed by the shockwave, collapsing in on itself. But the surrounding buildings were devoid of damage. The brute of the attack went downward, making a large crevice into the ground, splitting it open like a wound.

"Sweet sh*t, I have missed using heavy swinging weapons," Adam said with a grin, twirling the weapon expertly on his fingers. With that, he leaped down the crevice. He faintly noticed the ground changing from the foundation he broke through at the top to older and darker bricks. He spread his wings as he fell into a large room.

It was dark, but he could smell burning wood and ashes. And the blood, but that was a given. Someone had put the lights out when he broke the floor open. The only light in the room now was from him.

"Not to be a cliché sh*t, but let there be f*cking light!" Adam called out, slamming the bottom of his halberd into the ground. His holy light grew and spread out, illuminating the room.

He found exactly what he expected.

This was a torture room.

Racks, chains on tables, a wooden horse, pillories, garrote, and even a damn cross. All manner of devices to torture and bleed people and-

And that a Judas cradle.

Ignoring that unpleasant reminder of the Spanish Inquisition, Adam turned his attention to the more concerning thing about the room.

There were cages. Lots and lots of cages, all like bird cages, but big enough to fit a small person.

And in those cages were female demons. They all were or at least looked young, from children to late teens. Maybe a few extra-young-looking adults.

They were all groaning and whimpering in their cages, trying to hide their eyes from the light he had brought into this dark place, their Hell within Hell. Blood was on their cages, dripping or dried. Some of them were knocked over, crying in their cages. But none of them were dead. And that was the sad thing. None of them were dead. They had been drained over and over again, but never enough to let them die and respawn elsewhere.

Bathory had perfected her twisted craft in Hell, it seemed.

Speaking of which, Adam looked to the front of the room.

As if in a sick attempt to make the room cozy, there was a fireplace, still hot and smoking with embers.

And in front of the fireplace, was a bathtub.

It wasn't empty.

In fact, it was filled, almost to the brim.

Besides the tub was a small table and Adam saw something on it. He approached, picking up what he realized was a photograph.

It was of Charlie, a close-up of her. When and where it had been taken, he had no idea, just that it was of her smiling in at something. Maybe even the person taking the picture.

There were blood smears on the photo, where a bloody finger hand stroked the image.

"Precious, isn't she?"

The caged souls fell into a horrible silence at the voice.

Adam looked at her, almost surprised. "Figured you'd still be in the damn tube," Adam admitted, halberd resting over his shoulder.

Elizabeth Bathory walked out of the shadows with all the confidence of the queen she probably thought she was. Pragmatically, Adam knew she was regal and beautiful enough to pass for a noble Highborn in appearance. Her skin was a pale white, but her hair was as red as the blood she bathed in. She possessed black bat ears that almost looked like a crown of some sort on her head with her long hair woven and braided as it was. She wore long, flowing robes that only accented her dangerous beauty.

The whites of her eyes were as black as her soul and the red demon eyes gleamed hungrily.

The long claws of her hands were stained with blood. Not painted, stained.

And her wings...were gone. "Lucif*ck got a piece of you last time, I see," Adam muttered.

Bathory said nothing as she approached him, each step slow, deliberate, and graceful. Her victims silently cried as she passed them.

"Down here, blood is endless. A soul can bleed forever. If you know how," Bathory said, looking down at some soul in a cage, whole froze in terror. "You start to care more about the quality after a while."

Adam said nothing, watching her, the photo still in his hand.

"The blood of an angel, the blood of the Queen of Hell," Bathory said with a giggle that was a bit...off. A bit too much. "And she has been a child for over a hundred and thirty years! I could still have decades to drain her veins, to enjoy her rare and illustrious blood."

She licked her lips.

Adam clenched his hand, crumbling the photo.

"But tell me, First of Eden? What is the child of evil to you?" Bathory asked, tilting her head with a wide-eyed curiosity.

Adam didn't answer, feeling like letting her run her mouth a bit longer.

"Oh, I can only fathom the endless revenge you have planned for that one," Bathory said, smiling much too wide. "Are you going to kill her in front of her parents? String her up on the embassy? From the Heaven itself?"

Had he ever thought about that? Kind of. Hearing that Lucifer and Lilith had a child, he half expected to meet the kid one day when the brat was full grown and end up being just another enemy like the rest of her family.

But now, the idea of Charlie's corpse put on display only made him grip his Halberd harder.

"Or maybe you'll drag her back to heaven. Like a pet. Or a trophy. I always did hear that the denizens of Heaven delight in watching our suffering. You certainly do," Bathory mused. "Why not give them a front-row seat."

Taking Charlie to Heaven? Even if he could, and he wasn't even about to say he wanted to, he wasn't so sure how her parents would react, honestly. Sad to be gone from her, yeah, but would they be worried about what would happen to her? Or happy she wasn't in Hell anymore?

Regardless, he knew it'd make Charlie miserable. And Heaven wasn't a place to cause misery.

"Or....." Something disgusting crossed Bathory's face. "Perhaps, after I'm done with her, I could hand her over to you. After all, they owe you a wife, don't they?"

The instant she spoke those words, she found Adam flying upon her with a swing of his halberd. "Yeah, f*ck this!" Adam said with a growl.

"So sad, Leader of the Raiders! What great misery we could have brought them!" Bathory boosted maniacally as blood flowed from her sleeves, taking the shape of two short swords. With great speed, she rushed Adam, striking relentlessly with her blades. Adam moved and twisted the staff of his weapon to block or deflect her attacks. "No matter, my dear count and I will deal with them one day! And soon, we will break from of the Ring of Pride, and take all of Hell into our demesne!" Bathory proclaimed proudly.

Adam used his free hand to send her back with a blast of holy energy. She was spared damage only because more blood rushed forth to shield her chest. "The f*ck you talking about? The Impaler is f*cking dead," Adam said, wondering if that kill had been f*cked up too.

"LIAR!" Bathory screeched like a banshee in denial. All at once, four tendrils of blood formed from her back, shooting forth to stab Adam. He brought up his wings to block them, holding them back without much effort. "Don't speak that twisted lie! Death could not stop him! It will not separate us! He will return and we will do what you could not! Make the very demons of hell our servants and slaves!"

Adam snorted, spreading his wings with a surge of power. Holy energy shot through the blood tendrils, reaching Bathory, who screamed in pain from the surprise counter before collapsing to her knee with a hard panting. "You f*cking lost it. Your man is dead, and you reign over sh*t and piss, let alone making demons into-"

Adam suddenly stopped as he looked back at the cages, something clicking in his head at her words. Those weren't just sinners in those cages.

Bathory had been bleeding Hellborn. Hellborn children.

A red eye shone in one of the cages, and for a moment all he saw was Charlie.

Bathory was suddenly upon him. He didn't even look as he reached out and grabbed her by the neck. Bathory roared and screamed as she formed more blood weapons to stab and struggle against him like a wild animal.

Adam threw her up and spun to hit her with the smaller back blade of the halberd. She screamed as the wound was flooded with holy power, sending waves of agony through her very soul. Adam swung with all his mind, sending her hurtling into a bathtub, breaking and tipping it over, the blood spilling out.

"No! My blood! My precious bathing blood!" Bathory bemoaned, ignoring her pain entirely as she got up, forming two blood orbs in her hands. "You wasted it! How do you expect me to salvage that lovely blood!?"

Adam raised an eyebrow at the blood orbs she had conjured from the same blood she was bemoaning. "Bitch, you have lost it. Those soul-switching things did a number on you."

"Shut it, nosey priest!" Bathory screamed, attacking him again with long blood whips, complete with thorns along their lengths.

"You don't even remember where or when the f*ck you are, do you?" Adam realized, swatting the whips away, cutting the ends off. He did so again and again as he closed in on her.

He furrowed his brow as he realized that Bathory was changing. Shrinking.

Bathory managed to land a hit on his shoulder, but he shrugged it off. With her right in front of him, he sent a lethal wave of holy power into a slash from his blade. Barely any blood came up to save her now as she was sent into the wall, falling with a thud and a large wound on her chest.

Adam tilted his head. "You know, I figured that without all that blood, you'd be the old f*cking hag you were afraid you'd turn into," he mused as she tried and barely managed to glare up at him. "But instead, Hell turned you into the very thing you hurt and envied. A young maiden. Very, very young."

Bathory now looked like a child, eight or nine years or. A very feral, arid child, but still.

Every emotion seemed to leave her face as she looked up at him. "All I wanted, was to be young forever. To always be beautiful," she answered emotionlessly.

"Jokes on you, that's what you get in Heaven," Adam mocked with derision.

Bathory, still in a moment of perfect clarity, tilted her head. "You should have let us go. We could have killed them-"

Adam silenced her with a final slice, cutting her in half down the middle, her guts and organs falling out. "Sorry, Bitch, but I called dibs on that five thousand years ago."

He stared at the body for a few seconds before reaching up to rub off the faint blood from his shoulder. Not his own, obviously, but from the blood-whip. "I've gotten sloppy," he muttered with some distaste. Hunting Overlords put that in perspective, that he was too accustomed to fighting enemies too weak to get through his Immenance.

With that in mind, Adam turned to leave but quickly realized a problem.

The many eyes starring at him in awe. A lot of them being Hellborn.

Adam took a breath and decided there was only one appropriate course of action, and whispered something under his breath.

"Okay, what the f*ck did you do that for?" Lucifer asked in annoyance as he instantly appeared out of a portal. "You know-"

"Bathory's dead, she was blood-milking sinners and hellborns," Adam interrupted, pointing to the room, sending out a series of low-level beams that broke the doors off the cages. Most of the children didn't react, some of them only peeking their heads out a little.

Lucifer blinked as he saw exactly what Adam said was there. "I'm....suddenly very happy me and Lilith killed off the Hellborn that was helping her."

"Yeah, this sh*t is your problem now," Adam said flatly as he flew up and out of the room, through the crevice he had entered.

"Wait, what?! Oh, fine," Lucifer said with a sigh as he turned to the former prisoners. "Okay, just got to handle a room of traumatized children until I can get them sent home," Lucifer summarized, his confidence dwindling a bit at the end.

Despite that exchange, Adam was in a good mood. Elizabeth Bathory was finally dead, and he could cross her off his list finally. And he did this early, so he had most of E-Day left to go still! He just had one last thing to do before he started the slaughter train.

He quickly arrived at the Embassy and kicked open the door to a meeting room. "The Blood bitch is f*cking dead!" Adam declared in victory.

There was a round of cheers from the exorcists in the room. it wasn't all of them, just the ones willing to try something. "Congratulations, Sir," Lute said as she ate a cookie.

"Hi, Adam!" Charlie said, her face covered in flour and chocolate smudges, holding up a tray that still had two cookies. "I saved some for you!"

"Thanks, Hellflake!" Adam said as he took the offered treat. "So, Lute, how many you two f*cking burn?"

"Miss Lute didn't burn anything!" Charlie answered assuredly, getting a smirk from Adam's second. "But she did get flour everywhere when she tried to open it with her spear."

Lute's smirk vanished and she refused to react further, beyond looking up at nothing.

"Ha! Lute's a good cook, but some sh*t always happens with her in the kitchen," Adam said with a chuckle as he ate the cookies. "So, did you like the present?"

Charlie nodded rapidly."It's so funny! You said it was from Earth!?"

Lute raised an eyebrow. "Sir, what did you get her?" she asked, the other angels leaning in curiously.

Adam shrugged. "New board game."

"Wait, is it the Monopy game the cherubs have been talking about?" one of them asked.

"Hmm? No, it's called 'Sorry!'" Charlie answered with a smile. "But what's Monopy?"

"Monopoly," Lute answered. "It's...."

"Something that sounds like it was plopped out of Mammon's fat ass, but it's too f*cking good to be from him," Adam summarized with a grin. "I'm definitely getting the Archangels to play that sh*t."

Charlie looked between all. "I think I'll stick with 'Sorry!' but thank you."

Adam snorted. "Well, we best head out. Hellflake, you got extra cookies for when you go home?"

"Uhhuh. Why?" Charlie asked curiously.

"Just checking," Adam said knowingly.

Needless to say, Charlie was rather confused when Adam brought her home to her Dad awkwardly trying to comfort a bunch of children while her Mother was busy contacting the other rings about the missing children.

Chapter 9

Chapter Text

Eleven Months Before Extermination Day, 1936

"Emily."

The young Seraphim suddenly stopped the soft and comforting song she had been manifesting around her wings, looking at the First Man in surprise. They were on top of a large tower in heaven, Adam sitting on the edge.

"Ask me anything," he instructed.

She tilted her head, coming up to sit by him. She didn't speak, but her blue eyes asked him why.

Adam sighed. "You're the first new Seraphim we've had a long ass time and one of the only ones that came out as a damn baby instead of grown up. But brats like you can't learn sh*t if old f*cks like me and Sera aren't willing to talk about sh*t. So, ask away."

Emily looked down at the street below in thought. "Why do you wear that mask?"

Adam frowned, rubbing the object idly. "There was...another reason I use to tell f*ckers, a long time ago. But these days I tell them it just makes me stand the f*ck out while looking cool as sh*t," Adam answered, smirking briefly before it vanished. "The honest sh*t is something only a few dozen angels know about."

"Saint Peter knows, doesn't he?" Emily guessed, getting a raised eyebrow. "I asked him, but I didn't know it was personal at the time. He said that was something for you to tell me. If you wanted."

Adam shook his head. "The Apostles. You know, those f*cks are one of the last assholes I told the entire story of my life to? Especially Simon."

Emily leaned in with a respectful but deep interest.

"The Apple."

Souls didn't need to breathe in Heaven. But Emily believed she knew what it felt like for the air to escape her long. The way Adam said those two simple words. He spoke them as if to give them another, fouler definition and somehow succeeded.

"When I died and came Heaven? My soul was healed and cleansed, but I was never the same as before the Fall from Eden. Like it left a mark. Or kept a piece of me," Adam said with a narrowed, bitter gaze. "Don't get me wrong, I'm hot as f*ck under this all."

Emily smiled a bit at his momentary return to his usual self.

"But I don't feel right with my damn skin out where people see it. The f*ckers on Earth think it's just dignity or decency or sh*t like that, but it's f*cking not!" Adam said hotly, his voice just short of rising. "I felt....wrong. Like...Like I lost something that I couldn't get back, even if I had all the broken pieces," he stopped to let out a breath.

Emily allowed the silence to grow until she was sure Adam was done. "That sounds horrible," she said in sympathy, eyes wide with dismay. "I can't imagine what that must have felt like. Did....Sera and the others, they helped you heal, right?"

"They tried their damn wings off. Especially Raph, the man was always the doctorly type. Everything was a lot...busier back then, Fluffcake. They were still trying to salvage the mess the Fall had made of Creation," Adam explained with a headshake. "Sera made me the robes. I did the mask myself, with some help. Took me a long ass time to feel right in my own soul again. And by that point, I was so f*cking used to the robes I didn't feel like changing my style. Granted, the mask was a lot f*cking different back then."

Emily listened intently, carefully. "But...you don't feel like that anymore, right?" she asked hopefully.

"Not usually. Trauma isn't a thing up here, thank f*ck. But every now and again, I think about it too much, how it felt. And I can still feel that damn part of me that isn't the f*cking same as before I left Eden. It doesn't hurt. I just know it's not there," Adam answered, looking off into the distance. "Head home, Em, I'm sure Sera is wondering where you're at."

Emily blinked at the soft dismissal but didn't argue the point. "Thank you for telling me," Emily said, pausing. "And Adam?"

"Hmm?" he turned his head partially in her direction.

"I'm glad you feel better," Emily said with a smile, gently flying away.

"So am I, Fluffcake, so am I," Adam said as she left. "You coming out or just going to keep watching?"

With a flash, he was seated on a couch in Sera's office. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop," she assured honestly. "I was merely...surprised to hear to speak of that."

"Someone has to tell her the sh*t that happened, and how it all got f*cked," Adam said with a grunt.

Sera looked to the side, a hint of shame on her face.

"I'm not insulting you, Sera," Adam said flatly without looking at her. "I don't blame any of us f*ck-fossils that don't like talking about The Old World."

Sera smiled now, just a bit. "I was actually looking for you, Adam."

Adam looked at her now curiously. "Why?"

"Adam, we are 'f*ck-fossils' as you put it," Sera reminded in jest. "Two decades is not that long to us, but I notice you've been acting a bit different lately. Emily, I can understand, but when was the last time you forced the Archangels all to sit down and play a game together?"

"After the first Bubonic Plague. Too f*ck long, obviously," Adam mused. "Your ass better be there or I'll get Raphael to force you into a vacation."

Sera chuckled at his words before frowning. "As much as I'm enjoying some of your old behaviors, Adam, I am concerned about the cause."

Adam tilted his head for a moment. "Let me take a wild guess. You're worried the Hellflake's parents are using her to manipulate me in the long term?"

"You've spoken of her enough for me to doubt her awareness of any plot, and I trust your judgment on that," she said grimly. "But Those Two?"

Adam looked to the roof and glared. "Yeah, been wondering that. I don't give Lilith the time of day. Her f*ckboy? I put up with him when I have to."

"Such as calling him to help save a room of Hellbron children?" Sera asked carefully.

Adam shrugged. "I liked the idea of dumping freaked-out kids on him to deal with."

Sera hummed. "And you just happened to be hunting for the Overlord that wanted to capture his daughter."

"Bathory has been on my sh*tlist since day one. And you've seen my sh*tlist," Adam reminded.

"Your Kill List, yes. I look at that sometimes just to remind myself of why the Exterminations are still necessary," Sera said with a head shake. "The thought of someone like Elizabeth Bathory during the Era of the Archfiends fills me with dread."

"Lot of f*ckers did the child sacrifice thing," Adam remarked darkly. "She'd had made a f*cking religion out of it."

"I just ask that you be careful, Adam," Sera said, firm but concerned. "None of us want to see you suffer again, least of all by those two."

August 6, 1936

Charlie rushed to her room as fast her legs could take her, Razzle and Dazzle flying behind her. She all but through the door opened and grinned. "Adam!"

To her disappointment, the Angel was well and gone, her bedroom empty save for a single present left on her bed.

"Oh, we missed him," she said with a pout as she went over to her bed. Nonetheless, she retrieved the present and began unwrapping it with interest.

It was smaller this time, and definitely not a box. She pulled the paper away to reveal a strange oval thing made of dark wood. It was full of holes and hollow, with a small handle part.

"....What is it?" Charlie asked, tilting her head as Razzle and Dazzle hovered over her shoulder's curiously.

She found that there was paper wrapped around the handle. She removed it and was grateful to find a letter.

"Hellflake,

Congrats on your thirteenth decade.

By the way, it's an Ocarina. Kind of like a flute.

Don't know if you like wind instruments, but thought you might want to give it a try.

See you E-Day, Adam"

Charlie giggled. She was pretty sure the only reason the letter wasn't filled with curses was because Adam had made the letter too small to waste space.

Still, a new instrument? Her parents had mused about getting her a flute or something to try now that she was trying other instruments.

Extermination Day, 1936

"Mom took my ocarina away," Charlie informed, unbothered by this fact.

"How many damn windows did you crack?" Adam asked expectantly.

"I didn't try to keep count," Charlie admitted with a wince. "She says I can have it back after I have some lessons."

Adam grunted. "So, was I imagining it, or did it sound like you had more kids in the house that day?"

"Some of the kids you saved from Bathory and I really got along," Charlie explained with an uncertain look on her face.

Razzle huffed from Adam's back, clearly aware of the topic.

"Razzle doesn't like some of them. Dazzle likes chasing Deska. She's a hellhound," Charlie explained.

"Let me guess, they keep trying to pet them and Raz hates it," Adam mused.

"How do you know that?" Charlie asked in surprise.

"I can tell what kind of personality an animal has after a while, even f*cking demonic sh*ts like these two," Adam explained. "Raz is a cautious and aggressive ass that doesn't like strangers being too friendly with him at first. Daz doesn't mind, little f*ck is a people pleaser, he's just having fun with the mini-bitch."

Razzle and Dazzle both bah'd at the assessment, as if agreeing with the angel.

Charlie hummed at that, letting the silence linger. ""Adam? About my friends and the other children? I'm glad you helped them-"

"Don't f*cking look too deep at it, Hellflake," Adam interrupted flatly. "Honestly, my first plan was to let their asses free and let them finish Bathory off. But I decided not to play around with a bitch that slippery. So I settled for giving them a pass for a year and letting your parents deal with that f*cking headache."

Charlie was a bit disappointed but knew Adam wouldn't accept any argument that he did it in any way to help the Hellborn, children or not.

"They, um, are still scared of you. A lot," Charlie informed cautiously.

"I f*cking hope so," Adam said bluntly. To his surprise, Charlie didn't respond.

She fidgeted a bit under his stare. "I didn't...know this, but the Hellborn tell stories about you."

Adam wasn't surprised by that in the slightest.

"Hellborn parents tell their children to never come to Pride, especially on Extermination Day. That they'll be...ripped to pieces if mistaken for a Sinner," Charlie explained morbidly. "And they make you sound so scary. They don't even know your name. They just have these names for you. Leader of the Raiders. King of Locusts. Lord Exorcist."

"You didn't know I'm the damn Boogeyman to the rest of Hell, did you?" Adam asked, almost amused by how sheltered she was now.

Charlie shook her head. "Do you....do you LIKE how terrified they are of you?" Charlie asked with a frown.

Adam turned to look at her over his shoulder and kept her gaze. "Yeah, yeah I really do. Hellborn or Sinners, fear and power is the only f*cking language Hell understands. Don't be upset I learned to speak it so clearly."

Charlie looked down. "The treaty says you can't kill Hellborn. But if it didn't-"

"Probably have just blown up the whole room with them in it, yeah," Adam answered instantly.

Charlie smiled, if only a little. "Thank you for saving them, even if it doesn't mean anything to you."

Adam chose not to respond to that and let that topic end. "So, your folks tell you anything new about the past?"

Charlie kept quiet for a moment. "Daddy doesn't want to. Not really. I can tell. Mommy does though."

"....Lilith does," Adam said with distaste.

Charlie nodded. "She told me....the story wasn't everything, but it was how she felt."

Adam hummed, and it didn't sound happy.

"But, umm, they did explain to me more stuff about the angels," Charlie informed. "Seraphims, Cherubs, Malakhims. Though, Daddy said you should explain what the difference is between the archangels and The Archangels. He said he wasn't sure what happened there?"

"Yeah, that sh*t. That's just modern language bullsh*t messing the f*ck up mixing in with some f*ckers misunderstanding sh*t," Adam explained. "Okay, the regular archangels are actually called the Roshim. They're important because they can do or help any other angel with their f*cking job. Basically, they can take on a weaker version of the power any other class of angel has. They're basically the handif*cks of Heaven. The actual "Archangels" you're thinking of? Those guys are the Sarim, the Chiefs of the Angels. It's not actually a class so much as a status."

"Status?" Charlie asked curiously.

"Any kind of angel can become a Sarim, an Archangel. Any f*cker with that title can use all the powers of the other classes of angels, at the same time and in full. There are only ever seven of them. Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael are three in that group for eternity. Other angels have filled the other four spots. Sera wore that hat for a while, still does, but she is mainly focusing now on being the Governor of Heaven."

"Huh. And why don't you just call them Sarim and Roshim? "Charlie asked curiously.

"Hellflake, when a f*cker goes to Heaven or Hell, they understand every language as their own native one from Earth. We know what the sh*t they mean when they say Archangel or archangel, I can literally feel the f*cking capitalization. sh*t gets explained if they ask, but most don't and figure it out from context or don't care to think on it."

Charlie hummed. "Hellhounds and Imps don't have it....very good, compared to other Hellborn. Do the classes affect how angels are treated?"

"Oh, f*ck no. Class just means what the f*ck you can do as a cosmic job. My girls do sh*t the rest of the year, Hellflake. Some of them make f*cking furniture, others help with the heavenly landscaping. Lute tried racing, but she got banned for a whole ass century. Don't ask. I just chill the f*ck out unless I'm needed for other sh*t," Adam explained.

"...What ARE the exorcists, exactly?" Charlie asked curiously.

"Same as every bitch and f*ck in the heavenly host; my girls are of the Erelim, the Valiant Ones," Adam explained with a smirk.

"Wait, so, if they do other stuff too, can angels change class?" Charlie asked curiously.

"Kind of? Every angel is ranked by their sphere. First, second, third. For most of us, this manifest in how many f*cking wings we have," Adam informed bluntly.

Charlie's eyes immediately went to Adam's own wings.

"Yeah, I'm one of the weird cases. Probably the Fall f*cking up my soul still," Adam remarked venomously. "Instead of more wings, my wings just get bigger and more holy. I'm considered among the second sphere. Also, technically an Erelim, but my girls are all of the first sphere."

"Oh. So, spheres don't control what job you can do?" Charlie asked curiously.

"They do. A Third Sphere Angel can take on any role, but you need to be of the third tier to handle doing sh*t like the Seraphim do," Adam explained. "Trust me, Hellflake? This isn't a caste thing, this is 'You must be this powerful to work this sh*t' kind of deal."

Charlie nodded in thought as they reached her home. "Adam?"

"Hmm?" Adam co*cked his head as Charlie didn't slide down.

"....Do you...want me to hate my parents?" Charlie asked softly.

"I want you to decide on your own who to hate, if anyone," Adam answered bluntly.

"....If anyone?" Charlie repeated in surprise, in hope. "S-so, that means, when I know....everything? You won't...hate me if I don't hate them?"

"...." Adam looked over his shoulder. "Charlie, my hatred is not that petty. You'll get my hate if you earn it, and not a day sooner."

Something was comforting yet ominous in that statement. She slid down and somehow she knew that Adam would not linger this year.

"Adam?" Charlie called out to his backside. "I...one day? I want you to tell me a story. I want...I want to hear your story of Eden."

Adam didn't say anything for a long moment. "Been a long while since I told a bedtime story, Hellflake. Might be a few years before I figure that one out."

Charlie smiled. "Thank you, Adam."

With that, Adam took off to the sky.

He grinned as he came upon a rather slippery worm demon that was trying to flee across rooftops from his girls.

"Surprise, co*ck head!" Adam exclaimed, dropping down with a kick strong enough to send him and the demon down through the roof, and the floor below it.

Knowing the trip about worms, Adam used his wing to cut the worm down the middle, long way. The sinner thrashed and screamed before succumbing to their final death.

"Hmm, hunting light this year?"

Adam glanced over and raised an eyebrow. "The f*ck you doing, f*cko?" he asked curiously

Alastor motioned to the stove that had something...or rather, someone cooking on it. "Oh, I found this goat demon hiding in here. I never had goat, so I could not let the opportunity pass me by!" he explained with a grin. "Sorry to say, but hunting Overlords right now is a bit on the low side. There are many around, be assured, but all too cautious for either of us to find so easily."

"Yeah, well, just keep your head down," Adam informed. "You're off the hunt list for four more years, but it's your own f*cking fault if you get caught in the collateral."

"So I see," Alastair said, glancing up at the hole in the ceiling. "Did you know I was in here, by chance?"

"Knew some asshole was. I was hoping it was Overlord. And it was, just not a f*cker I can kill right now," Adam explained with a shrug. "Add anyone interesting to your tunes?"

"No one important. A rapist, a scam artist, and a soldier," Alastair said with a chuckle.

Adam chuckled. "I might actually miss this when I get around to killing you."

"If, my good hunter. If you get around to killing me," Alastor countered with a wider grin.

"Keep telling yourself that, f*cko."

August 6, 1937

'Adam. Got the sulfur cold. Hellflake.'

Sick on her birthday. Well, that sucked all the dick and sh*t.

Adam made sure to keep his steps quiet as he entered the room. Razzle and Dazzle were on the foot of the bed but paid him no mind. Charlie was covered up, sniffling, and sounding miserable as she slept.

"Guess even Hell Princesses get sick down here," Adam murmured softly to himself, setting a gift down for Charlie on her nightstand. It was a copy of a new comic from Earth, called Dandy. Not much, but he thought she might get a laugh out of it.

His eyes lingered as he saw a book on the stand, titled "The History of Hell."

Careful to not disturb Charlie, he sat down on the side of the bed. One arm and wing over her headboard as he opened the book and began reading.

If anyone watched, they would have seen no reaction from Adam's mask as his eyes ran over the script.

And then he stopped.

He read a single line, a single word over and over again again.

His wings glowed brighter as rage quivered within him.

The door opened and his gaze snapped up to see Lucifer's crimson eyes fixed on him.

Neither spoke, neither moved.

Adam almost saw red, but he was acutely aware that Lucifer wasn't looking at Adam's face or the book in his hand.

No, he was looking at the hand and wing hanging above Charlie.

Adam could see the Devil's mind spinning, thinking how fast he would have to move to save Charlie if Adam tried to kill her.

And Adam shamelessly enjoyed when Lucifer realized that he was too far away, that Adam was too close, and that his daughter was alive entirely because Adam didn't feel inclined to kill her.

"Adam-"

Adam closed the book quietly. "Shush. She's sleeping," he reminded with a dead tone as his fingers moved back and forth in a deliberate manner, wings ruffling just enough to make the Sin of Pride stiffen.

So, Lilith trusted him around Charlie, and Lucifer didn't. Not entirely at least. Interesting.

Then again, that just meant that one of the people he hated most did understand him on some level, and the other did not.

He put the book down and let Lucifer squirm for a moment longer before rising. Slowly, deliberately he removed his arm and wing from the headboard.

Lucifer relaxed as Adam put some distance between himself and Charlie as he approached Lucifer. The Devil glared as Adam stopped beside him.

"How's it feel?" Adam asked flatly. "Knowing your kid can be killed in an instant, by a whim, and there is nothing you can do to save her?"

Lucifer bristled, something vile flashing across his face. "If you hurt Charlie, I will end your soul in the slowest and most painful way I can."

Adam snorted. "Funny. You almost sound human."

Lucifer's eyes went wide, as if stricken by that.

"You know, that f*cking story you tell her? Only one word of it pissed me off," Adam informed, giving Lucifer a revolted look. "'Gladly.' You really are a disgusting piece of sh*t, the both of you."

"You-"

"I will do whatever the f*ck I want," Adam interrupted firmly. 'You want this to stop? Go ahead, keep Charlie from seeing me. Tell her whatever f*cking lies you want to make yourself feel better. But she is NEVER going to accept what you say at face value now if you do."

"...Get the f*ck out of my house," Lucifer ordered coldly.

Adam turned to leave but had one last parting shot. "As you wish, O Breaker of Light."

Lucifer recoiled as if wounded, glaring at Adam's back as his demonic visage took over. His clawed hands curled and popped, his wings emerged, and his unholy halo blazed.

Adam never once looked back as he went to the balcony.

Lucifer breathed hard and deep, dark flames curling in his raised hand. "You arrogant prick....!" he breathed with a voice of brimstone and soot.

"Daddy...?"

Lucifer's head snapped to Charlie, who was now seated up on the bed. Her voice was cracked and her eyes were blinking sleepily. Lucifer hastily dismissed his demonic features before Charlie could come too fully. "CharChar! You're awake! Are you feeling better?" he asked in concern.

He was pointedly aware of Adam leaving via a portal on the balcony.

Charlie nodded, yawning. "Can I have some soup, please? No apple please, I can't keep it down," she pleaded with a sniffle.

"Of course, princess," Lucifer assured. "Anything else?"

Charlie hummed, still drowsily. "Daddy? What happened five thousand years ago?"

Lucifer froze. "What do you mean, Sweetie?"

"Dunno. Adam said the Extermination started around then, but he never said why," Charlie answered with a yawn. "Said others raided hell too."

Lucifer sighed. "Charlie, you're much too sick to hear an answer to this."

Charlie nodded in agreement. She wasn't sure she expected an answer. She just couldn't keep it in her head with the headache too. "Soup, please?"

"Coming right up, Princess."

Two Days before E-Day

Adam sat on top of the pearly gate, watching a very....very busy line of souls coming forth. Many souls were lingering or stopping entirely on the bridge, letting out screams and wails of anguish.

"Sir."

Adam tilted his head as Lute landed behind where he was seated. "Yeah, Lute?"

"Lady Sera is aware of the situation. She is keeping Emily at the tower, but hopes you keep her away if she slips away," Lute relayed.

Adam nodded. "Some of the exorcists are down there, helping talk to some of the grieving souls."

Lute nodded, already aware of that. "Emily means well, but she's not prepared to help souls like this."

Adam silently agreed with that. it was true that Heaven cleansed everyone of their trauma and problems from Earth, but certain souls needed....time. Time to process and come to terms with their terrible death, to let out their frustration and sadness at the sheer injustice they had suffered.

Like people murdered after being violently and brutally raped.

And there were a lot of victims of that right now.

Emily, bless her heart, was not ready to face this, to help with this.

"Something horrible happened on Earth, "Lute summarized. "Was it that war between Japan and China?"

Adam nodded. "We're going to be busy this year, Lute."

Lute said nothing. "We might have some new exorcists soon, Sir."

Adam nodded knowingly. With a word, he unfolded his massive wings as wide as they could. They glowed brightly, poised to move.

Lute smiled as she knew what was coming.

With a slow but powerful flap of his mighty wings, Adam covered the virtuous souls in a wave of shining, divine mist. All at once, the mob of souls became more alive yet more calm, relief and joy in the eyes of many. The wailing calmed as the holy, golden dust brought comfort and peace to all souls about to enter Heaven. The wear and tear of life lifted and blown away by those angelic wings.

Saint Peter looked up with a relieved smile, waving at the First Man, who gave him a thumbs-up gesture in return.

"It's been a couple centuries since you did that, Sir," Lute remarked fondly.

"Peter, the others, and you girls can normally help the victims of a pillaging get through their sh*t just fine. But this is different. This isn't stopping anytime soon," Adam remarked, gazing off to the side. "I get the feeling this is barely the start of the sh*tstorm on Earth."

Lute frowned and nodded. She made a mental note to prepare her sister for the possibility of having quotas again.

Extermination Day, 1937

Something was different about Adam this year. Like he was tired in some way, yet happy to see her.

"Glad to see you're feeling better, Hellflake," Adam greeted as the rest of the exorcists flew off.

Two of them actually waved back at her when she waved at them!

"Hi, Adam! Thanks for the comic!" Charlie said with a smile. "Miss Lute, can we bake again next year?"

"Perhaps," Lute answered neutrally.

"That means yes~" Charlie said knowingly.

"It does not," Lute refuted with her arms crossed.

"It means yes unless something f*cking comes up and plans go to sh*t," Adam supplied, which Lute didn't refute. "Lute, you hanging around this year?"

"Unless you'd like me not to, Sir," Lute said bluntly.

This, of course, was all just posturing for Charlie. Lute had already spoken with Adam about this before arriving. She had no intention of leaving Adam alone this year, since it was possible Lucifer might try something after what happened on Charlie's birthday.

"Miss Lute is coming along?" Charlie asked, mildly excited.

"Why is that something you enjoy?" Lute asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I like spending time with you, Miss Lute," Charlie informed with a smile.

Lute looked to Adam, who sighed and waved her some reluctant permission. "You do realize I consider you a whor*spawn of hell, right?"

Charlie winced at the wording but then looked thoughtful. "I don't think my mother is a whor*, but.....there's nothing wrong with being the child of a whor*, is there?"

Lute co*cked her head. "No, I suppose there isn't?"

Charlie nodded. "Can you please just call me Hellspawn then? I don't like it, but....my mother isn't a whor*," Charlie said firmly. "She loves Daddy. I know you all think they're evil and liars and more, but that part isn't wrong."

"I have no intention of calling you either, or arguing the feelings of your parents," Lute answered solemnly. "I just don't want you to get the wrong idea about me, Princess."

"I won't. You like me, but you think I'll turn evil one day. Adam hopes I won't but doubt I'll stay good," Charlie said softly. "But....I think you like me a bit more now than you did the first time I stayed with you. You seemed like you had fun baking with me."

Lute didn't refute that, "If you are somehow unlike other Hellborn, I will be happy to see you every year, Princess."

Charlie smiled wider at the admission. It was progress. Slowly but surely.

"If you two are down puss*feeling around, let's get flying," Adam said as he let Charlie climb on his back, Dazzle joining her after he shrunk down. "And where is Raz?"

"He didn't feel like coming," Charlie answered with a shrug. "Raz and Daz don't worry about me that much when I'm with you."

Neither angel said anything to that, but Adam swore Lute's face was almost amused.

"Well, since she's here, why don't you try asking Lute some questions?" Adam suggested.

Lute deadpanned at that while Charlie looked excited. "Oh! I know! Do you need to preen your wings?"

Lute furrowed her brow. "Why ask me and not him that?"

"Because Adam's wings are golden, glowy and look like they are made of magic," Charlie asked bluntly.

Adam cackled, flapping his wings harder for emphasis, just once.

"No, Angels don't need to preen. We can though, it can be pleasing," Lute admitted.

Charlie suddenly blushed a bit. "is...is that an angel-couple thing? Wait, what is dating even like for angels?"

"Uhhhhh," Lute suddenly looked very lost and uncertain and embarrassed. "Princess, I'm not...the norm for angel dating."

"Oh, now I really want to know," Charlie said with a pout.

Adam hummed. "Well, Haniel runs the Third Heaven, and she helps angels find a match or make a lover."

"I'm sorry, THIRD Heaven?" Charlie asked in shock. "Are....are there seven heavens!?"

Adam opened and closed his mouth. "You know, I genuinely do not know if your folks got thrown down here before or after the angels set up the exact layouts of Heaven," he realized. "But, yeah, there are seven heavens. There were GOING to be seven earths too."

Charlie was pulled out of her shock by the ire in Adam's voice. "So, umm, Third Heaven. Haniel. You said she MAKES lovers?"

"Kind of," Adam answered, looking to Lute.

She sighed. "Are you familiar with the Houri?"

Charlie tilted her head. "No?"

Lute sighed. "There are certain people on earth that think when they die, they are "attended" by virgin angels called Houri, up to seventy-two of them."

"That's....a lot of virgins," Charlie said with a blush. "Adam, did you cause that with the Exorcists?"

"I.....can't say it's not a distinct f*cking possibility!?" Adam said with surprised amusem*nt. "Haha!"

"It's also not exactly false," Lute said with a sigh. "The Houri, and we do use that term, are Angels that come into existence to help sooth a void in the heart of another angel, be they earthborn or heavenborn."

"They....they are literally born, creating themselves to love someone....?" Charlie said in amazement. "That sounds so romantic."

"Not always," Lute continued. "Houri aren't always lovers. Some of them are companions, for people seeking a deep friendship. But yes, most are born to be lovers. And many have more than one Houri. However, that is never by choice or design. I can't say why dozens of houri will spawn for one person and another will have only one, but none are ever disappointed with their result."

"Oh. Heaven really is a paradise, trying to fulfill everyone entirely," Charlie mused, with a bit of awe and interest. "So.....are the Houri a class of angels?"

"Not exactly. It's more like a distinct of how they f*cking came into being," Adam answered honestly. "It's basically saying they are Love-born."

"Lute?" Charlie asked slowly as she looked suspiciously at Lute. "How many of the Exorcists are Houri?"

Lute didn't react at all to the question and didn't hesitate to answer.

"Just one."

Chapter 10

Chapter Text

August 8, 1938

"Adam! You're early!" Charlie exclaimed in surprise, still in her pajamas.

"The f*ck you doing eating in bed?" Adam asked curiously, staring at the tray of food beside Charlie. "You sick again?"

"No! Everyone gets birthday breakfast in bed in this house!" Charlie said with a grin.

"That's a thing now, eh?" Adam mused as Charlie climbed out of bed. "Thought that was just for married women."

Charlie, glad to actually see Adam on her birthday, raced over to him and surprised him with a hug.

Adam, still holding her gift, blinked at the sudden contact but ruffled her hair all the same.

Charlie beamed and looked up, realizing Adam was still giving her a strange look. "What? Do I have food on my face?" Charlie asked, running a hand over her mouth.

"Nah. Just stand still," Adam instructed, and the devil's daughter obliged curiously. Adam then placed a hand on top of Charlie's head. Not like a head pat, Charlie realized, as he then held the hand to his waist. "sh*t, you did get f*cking taller!" Adam realized in amusem*nt.

"Of course I did! I'm a hundred thirty-two now! It's time for my growth spurts! Soon I will be taller than Daddy!" Charlie said confidentially, holding up her arms in celebration.

"Low bar to clear," Adam mused, moving his hand up to his height. "Just don't expect to clear this f*cking line."

"Why are you so tall? Mommy isn't nearly as tall as you?" Charlie asked with a head tilt.

"Hellflake, your mom can shapeshift to look however she damn well pleases. She can be as short or tall as she f*cking wants," Adam reminded. "Probably just got tired of her big ass horns hitting door frames."

Charlie hummed, wondering if that might actually be the case. Her mother tried to be practical with many things, she could see why her own height might be among them.

"Your friends coming over, I'm guessing?" Adam asked idly.

Charlie nodded, eyes finally landing on the wrapped gift in Adam's hand.

"Go ahead, cheers," Adam said, handing it to her.

With childish excitement, she wrapped apart the wrapping.

Her smile fell at what it was. Not because she didn't like it, but...

"I have no idea what this is," Charlie admitted curiously.

It fit in her hand and was like a cube but with twelve sides. It was hollow with different-sized holes on each face, and little bulbs at each point.

"Really?" Adam asked in surprise. "I thought everyone did."

"What shape is this again?" Charlie asked with a furrowed brow.

"I believe humans call it a dodecahedron," Adam answered with a shrug. "Romans invented these. Saw one in a restaurant and thought you might like one."

"So, it's for food?" Charlie tried uncertainly.

"No, it- well, you could use it for some foods. Might help making something like hot dogs," Adam mused thoughtfully.

"Adaaaaam! Tell me what your strange-looking gift is for, please!" Charlie requested with a pout.

Adam chuckled. "Fine, fine, it's-"

The door sprung open. "Charlie, I'm-!"

Adam's eyes fell onto a small hellborn child. A small lizard-looking brat with little horns on the nose. Her scales were dark blue, almost black and her eyes were grey, sclera and all. She was wearing a yellow hoodie of all things.

And she looked absolutely petrified as if she would shed her own skin and run right now if she could.

"Lord......Lord Exorcist," she breathed, backing away, and tripping over her own tail.

"Gleam!" Charlie said as she rushed over to her friend. "It's okay. He's not going to hurt you. Right, A-"

Charlie stopped as she looked to Adam again, who was standing tower over them, the normal glow of his wings somehow seeming more sinister suddenly.

Adam never hesitated to remind her of who he was and what he did.

He said he would have killed her that first night if she had been any other Hellborn.

Gleam was any other Hellborn, to Adam at least.

Still, Charlie pressed on. "Right?" she asked to Adam.

He considered the trembling Hellborn before he reached down, making her flinch. Adam didn't care and reached to grab her by the hoodie, dragging her back to her feet before releasing her.

Gleam looked up at him with confused, terrified eyes.

"Stop worrying yourself. I'm not going to f*cking end any of you on her birthday," Adam said firmly.

It wasn't much, but Charlie would take it.

"Th-thank you," Gleam said softly. "L-Lord Exorcist? T-thank you for killing that....that bitch!"

Charlie was just a bit surprised by Gleam yelling the insult.

"Don't get any f*cking ideas, kid. If you don't want Hellflake here crying over your graves, you'll stay home on E-day," Adam warned with a glare. "How the f*ck did you even get taken by that bitch?"

Gleam winced. "My parents.....sold me."

"Well, that's f*cked," Adam said dryly.

"We were poor and thought t-the demon p-p-paying for me would take care of me," Gleam explained.

"Either slightly less f*cked or liars," Adam mused casually.

"B-but then they took me to Pride, and I was in a cage, and she wanted more and more blood! She bathed in it! She drank it! Sh-she even painted with it sometimes," Gleam rambled on. "I-I thought you were going to kill me."

"Safe bet," Adam mused.

"Adam," Charlie pleaded softly.

"I-it's fine, Charlie," Gleam said with a weak smile. "I'm just glad....that it ended. That I'm not still with her anymore."

"Are you back with the parents who sold you?" Adam asked flatly.

"N-no. Q-queen Lilith helped me find a new family," Gleam answered.

"Well, that's good at least," Adam muttered. "So, the seven hells are still terrified of me?"

Gleam nodded rapidly. "Mom. My new Mom? She said the mafia on Greed Rings sometimes sends people to Pride on E-Day. If they don't d-die from that, they'll finish them off when they try to escape."

"I should be annoyed at being used as a clean-up, but the more hell-blood spilled the better," Adam mused casually. "Well, I should probably head off. Enjoy the party, Hellflake. See you in a few months."

"Goodbye," Charlie said with a sigh waving as he left with a portal. She placed an arm around Gleam. "You okay?"

"He really hates us," Gleam said softly. "Except you."

Charlie winced but couldn't refute that. "Come on, let's get ready, the others will be here soon."

Gleam nodded absently. "I'm glad I got to say thank you, even if he'd probably kill me next time he saw me."

Charlie tried not to let that thought stay in her head too much for the rest of the day. That Adam or his angels might someday kill one of her friends if they ended up outside on Pride on Extermination Day.

It was a soft but brutal reminder that she truly was the safest person in Hell sometimes.

Extermination Day, 1938

"The King of Locust, whose wings have blinded a thousand princes and dukes of Hell, laid low the two Goetian Kings. Only by the might of burning Lucifer and regal Lilith were their lives spared. But their heirs, for the sake of their love, fled deeper into the besieged Ring of Pride and were never seen again. All that was ever seen of them again were a pair of feathers, stained with blood."

Charlie finished the story solemnly as she looked up. Just as she said, they were baking this year before Extermination Day started. While waiting for the muffins to finish baking, Charlie pulled out a book she had gotten for her birthday.

It was a book of Stories of Hell. And there were many involving the Exorcists and their Leader.

"I remember those two," one of the exorcists said, because Lute was once again not the only one here. "The Kings, I mean. Zagan and Vine. Didn't even know what an Ars Goetia was at the time. Scared me sh*tless when they were actually able to push us back. Then Lord Adam nearly skinned them alive before your folks stopped us."

"Mom and Dad were actually there?" Charlie asked curiously.

"No," Lute answered. "They just....made it known they were watching. Sir decided a pair of so-called Kings weren't worth the headache."

Charlie looked down. "And the heirs? The two lovers in the story?"

"No idea," another answered. "We certainly didn't kill them."

"Not that year at least," Lute agreed, checking them over. "Princess, how soft do you want them?"

Charlie walked over to the over and smiled. "Those look great! Though, we still can't make enough for everyone."

"Kid, we are literally an army, you'd need dozens of ovens to do that in one day," another exorcist reminded.

Charlie didn't refute the point but did look at them curiously, helping Lute take the muffins out. A perk of being the Princess of Hell? She didn't need oven mitts! "Also? I meant to do this last time, but...can I ask your names?" Charlie asked. "I mean, you ARE all the same Exorcists that were here last time and Lute baked, right?"

"They are," Lute informed, nodding to her sisters in arms. "These are the seven captains of the Exorcists."

Seven. That number came up a lot.

There was a pause as the captain all looked between each other before removing their masks. They were all similar to Lute in general features. Their skin was all either white, grey, or grey-purple. Their hair was all silver or white. The eyes were all varied a lot, but no one had eyes like Lute. Still, all of their eyes were bright and brilliant, but also hard and sharp. Like the glare of a reflected light.

"Princess," Lute addressed again. "Allow me to introduce the captains: Ionia, Doria, Phrygia, Lydia, Mixolydia, Aeolia, and Locria."

Some of them waved. Two smirked. Only one of them actually smiled at her.

"It's nice to meet you. Even if...I wish you would all go home today," Charlie said with a smile.

"Oh, the terrible princess wants to cruelly put us out of a job. What will we ever do?" Mixolydia said in feigned sadness.

"You're terrible," Lydia muttered in disapproval to her twin.

"W-what? Oh no, I never thought about that!" Charlie said in shock. "I-I just thought you'd do...whatever the rest of the army of heaven does."

"Mix, you absolute c*nt," Lute deadpanned. "No, Hellflake, that isn't a concern. She's just messing with you."

"......Did you just call me Hellflake.....?" Charlie asked in wonder.

Lute's brow twitched, and her fellow angels watched her, eyes gleaming with malicious teasing. "I did. Adam rubs off on me."

"I think what you mean, Ma'am, is you rub him off," Phrygia remarked knowingly.

"I am putting you on guard duty for a decade," Lute warned.

"You'll get me for one horrible year, then our wonderful leader will let me off the hoof after pounding you into the mattress to make you forget about it," Phrygia retorted.

"Through the mattress, thank you very much," Lute corrected.

Charlie watched the exchange with wide, wide eyes. "I...okay, well, I guess I know you aren't Adam's daughter now, Miss Lute."

Lute raised an eyebrow at the outlandish notion. She was about to open her mouth when they all suddenly stopped and touched their halos.

Charlie had learned very quickly that Angels could speak through Halos. She wasn't sure about the rules about how that worked, but she did know they didn't need to actually speak or even touch the halo. It was more of a social cue they did out of habit, to let others know they were "on the halo" as it were.

Which sounded a lot more like a toilet metaphor, they all admitted.

Lute frowned. "Charlie, I'm sorry, but Adam can't come this year, he has a meeting with a particular Overlord."

"Oh," Charlie said in disappointment.

"Ladies, head out and begin the purge," Lute instructed.

"Ma'am!" they saluted, redonning their helmets.

"See you next time, Princess!" Doria called over her shoulder as they each grabbed a cupcake on their way out.

"I trust you can contact your father to take you directly home?" Lute asked evenly, arms crossed with her spear already in hand.

Charlie nodded, biting her lip and looking to the side. "Lute? Can we....talk for a bit before I go home? Since I can't talk to Adam?"

Lute considered the question. She would have said no only a decade ago, maybe less. "I will answer one question for you, Princess."

Charlie mulled on that, choosing it carefully, "Lute? What's the difference between us?"

Lute deadpanned. "You need to be very specific with that question, Hellborn Princess."

"No, that! That's what I mean! What is the difference between the souls of the Heavenborn, Earthborn, and Hellborn?" Charlie asked, waving her hands about animatedly.

Lute stared, debating ignoring the question entirely, to make her choose another. But she knew Adam would answer it for her, so she would as well. Albeit, with less profanity. "There is a difference in nature in our very souls. Philosophers in Heavens compare it to many things, even the states of matter."

Charlie looked up expectantly as they both took a seat next to each other, her utter attention on the angel. Lute hummed, placing her spear in the air and drawing a circle made of heavenly light. She tapped it and the circle began to wiggle and flow. Never breaking, but it was like the ring was filled with waves and ripples.

"Earthborn, human souls? They are filled with boundless potential. For better or worse. They can become anything they desire to be if they try hard enough," Lute said, tapping the circle again. Now it was solid, perfectly round. "But Heavenborn come into existence with a purpose. Something that humans struggle to find in life; something that gives them fulfillment and happiness just by doing it. Loving their work, as it were. Sera of the Seraphim, her purpose is to help in the governing of Heaven for the sake of all within it. Houri are born with the purpose of companionship. Some of the Exorcists were born to defend Heaven. Other angels are born to maintain different parts of the heavens. Tending to the forests or expanding on the cities, incorporating new inventions into the heavenly realms."

"Wait, so....Adam said that there are plenty of Heavenborn that are born and raised, not just...." Charlie paused to make a bursting motion with her hands. "popping into existence, all grown up. Are they born knowing their purpose?"

"Yes, to my understanding. They don't feel the drive for it until they become adults, but they do understand their purpose at a young age. There is no uncertainty for a Heavenborn in why they exist, what they want to be unless they invite uncertainty in," Lute said with a dark look on her face.

Charlie was curious but she knew a subject she should not press when she saw it.

"And, umm, the Hellborn?" Charlie asked softly.

Lute tapped the circle again and...it broke. The circle gained gaps and missing chunks, retaining only a semblance of its form with wispy remains.

"Hellborn are like smoke and air, shadows. Their souls are whimsical, casting aside any purpose beyond their own worst wants and desires. Full of fleeting cares and whims, passing from one to the next without regret. Trusting a Hellborn is like a human trying to catch smoke in their hands."

Charlie winced at the rather brutal description. "Is that what...Heaven thinks of all Hellborn? That we don't have a purpose?"

Lute gave her a look that was...almost pity, but not quite. "Hell was never supposed to exist, Princess."

Charlie looked down, unable to refute that point. According to the stories, Hell came into existence because of her mother and father. "If all of that is true, then why does Adam care about me at all? Why am I....here, talking with you, if that's all he thinks of me?"

Lute motioned to the broken circle again. "Notice that even with all the missing parts and the shimmering of what remains, the circle can still be seen. Hellborn are not completely unpredictable. You are individuals with personalities. Lord Adam seems to think that the parts that make you a "Hellflake" might be permanent instead of fleeting."

Charlie starred and starred some more. She didn't know if all of this was really correct about Hellborn souls. But she was sure that Lute believed it and that Adam probably did too. So, that meant...

Adam cared about her, despite everything he believed about her parents, Hell, and Hellborns.

And even if it felt a little selfish, that still made her happy.

Elsewhere, Adam sat on a roof, watching as the extermination began. Obviously, most sinners had run away from here at the mere sight of him.

But for once, he didn't join in the killing spree. He just sat there and waited.

A shadow crept up along the floor behind him, reaching for him until-

"You're going to lose your hand if you try it, f*cko."

Alastor chuckled as he emerged from his shadow, taking a seat casually next to the angel. "Well, you seem to be in a downright dour mood, my normally kill-happy fellow! Might I ask, hunter-to-hunter, what could possibly be bothering you on this most violent day of days?"

Adam sighed deeply as he stared down at the road. "You remember what they called the Great War?"

"Hmm? Yes, yes, they called it the World War, why?" Alastor asked idly.

"I'm pretty sure it's about to become World War One."

Alastor's ears twitched up in surprise and interest. "And what makes you say that, my good man?"

Adam turned to Alastor and gave him this long stare of a thousand years and more. "I was there when the first war, Stag of the Crescent."

Alastor's spine shot straight and his eyes narrowed at the new nickname he had just been granted. The Stag of New Orleans, the Crescent City. "Were you really? Interesting. So, you can, perhaps, foresee the future?"

"Less see and more....hear," Adam answered with a scowl. "The f*cking marching, the breaking of dreams and homes, the sh*t the victors do after, and all the damn screaming. that sh*t echoes backward in time a bit."

"I'll have to take your word for it," Alastor mused. "I'm not sure why you are unhappy with that. True, you'll be rather busy for a few years, but you don't strike mesa the sort to sulk over a bit of work."

"Unless it's f*cking paperwork," Adam muttered. "But yeah, that would just annoy me. It's...everything else I've been hearing. A lot of souls coming to Heaven are talking about...horrible things that happened to them. I talked to some just before I came down here."

Alastor narrowed his eyes. "What could disturb an angel who saw the first war?"

Adam grimaced before leaning over. Not too close, but enough that he could whisper and Alastor's ears could pick it up.

".....Alive? They did that do them, alive?" Alastor repeated, his smile barely holding in place as something truly revolting went through his body. "That is.....demonic."

Adam nodded. "That's in the East. Things have been boiling in the West. There was this night a while ago. Not a lot of people died, but....people just started ransacking people in their own country."

Alastor studied the angel curiously.

"There's no such f*cking thing as Fate, Stag. Just where you land because of the sh*t you did. But there are points where sh*t becomes inevitable. Where the sh*tball has rolled downhill so f*cking far that it can't be stopped. It's going to land and it's going to be nasty. Whatever is going on back on Earth? Well, f*cking past that point. And I get the feeling that sh*tball is about to reach the bottom."

Alastor hummed. "I appreciate the forewarning, but I don't quite see why you would spill all of that to me?"

"I have a f*cking list, Stag. A sh*tlist of people who I try to off the instant they get down here. That list? It's about to get a LOT longer," Adam said with a growl to his voice. "How'd you like to stay off the menu long term?"

"...Why am "I" not on the list?" Alastor asked with narrowed eyes. "I may not be no Jack the Ripper, but I very much know I belong down here."

Adam looked at him, yet the Radio Demon felt like the angel wasn't looking at him at all. "Right, I remember you now," Adam said with a snort. "There were a few f*ckers on my sh*tlist that you sent down here."

Alastor stared for a moment before his smile widened in a predatory way. "So, staying off the menu you say?"

Adam smirked. "Just don't get the wrong damn idea, Stag. I think you and your sh*t is too big of a threat, I'll f*cking put you down like the beast you are."

"And I will take it as a compliment when you deem me such a threat!"